chapter 11

The house was warm and cozy. There were pictures of Angel and their mother everywhere. I picked one up. with who I assume was baby Angel. I never could remember what my mother looked like, but seeing this picture. With her smiling so brightly holding her child. It felt so unfamiliar, to see her with a smile. There was a prominent scar on her cheek, it looked like it healed well.

I still remember those days, that night. The blood on her face where I had cut her, honestly I completely forgot about it. At least I left her something to remember me by. I wonder what she tells people when they ask. At least I know I was not forgotten...

Seeing all those pictures and meeting Angel, hurt me. Back then I never blamed her, I thought she was just crazy, maybe even incapable of love, but see all this. Pictures, meeting me she wished I was, feeling the love she had for her mother and the warmth of the home. Why couldn't she love me too? Were my eyes such a big deal, that I couldn't be loved, that I had to be hated and isolated?

Coming here wasn't just to get the parental signature, it was to find comfort and stop hating her. But now I don't think there is anything she can say to make me forgive.

"Angel, I thought you were going to see your friends", a soft voice from behind said.

A chill ran down my spine, that voice, I remember it being filled with disgust and hatred, hearing it suddenly filled with love and care was unnerving.

I turned to face her

"Oh, I'm story I thought you were, wait who are you and what are you doing in my house!" fear, she was afraid, good she should be

"Your daughter let me in", I said in my monotone voice "...mom"

"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are, please leave my house", she seemed to panic, not because I called her mom, I don't think she even registered it. She probably thought I was a crazy person. whatever.

I wore the shades so I wouldn't be recognized when I knocked and so I could at least be let in, but now I'm already in.

I took off my shades and stared at her, upon seeing my eye color, the color seemed to drain from her face, I took a step forward and she stumbled two steps back. She was afraid, good that's how I felt every day with her. I smiled at her and she looked ready to faint, " It's been a while, what almost 8 years." I said

She shook her head in disbelief, mouth opening and closing. What did she want to say?

" Did you miss me? Did you think of me?... Speak!" I roared, seeing her frozen in fear. I couldn't see myself but I was sure I looked unhinged. This woman...

"You're supposed to be dead," she said with a voice so small I thought I had imagined it. She said those same words that day.

"I'm not dead, someone saved me, took care of me, gave me a family, treated me well. Unlike you, they loved me!"

"So what? What do you want then? You have a family, someone saved you so why are you here? Have you come to kill me, you Demon?!" she screamed, she was starting to look the same as my resurfacing memories. Bitter cruel, I could feel her hatred for me seep, through my skin, Tring to hurt me.

Seeing her like this caught me off, guard. I don't know what I was expecting, and after seeing her and her loved daughter I thought maybe she had changed, maybe she would feel guilty, maybe she felt regret. Now seeing her I was so wrong. It wasn't that she couldn't love her child, it was that she couldn't love me.

"We are you going to do, Devil" she spat out at me.

I would be wasting my time if I started talking to her about how much I hate her, how what she did was wrong and I did not deserve it. I wanted to tell her that I am not trash and I never was, but seeing her unashamed hared, her lack of remorse... I should just do what I came here for.

I dug my hand into my back pocket, watching her flinch at my movement. She looked like an animal ready to attack. I pulled out the permission form and set it on the table conveniently set between us and bit a pen beside it, then I slid it over to her. "Sign it, "I demanded

"A parental form,..." suddenly she burst out into laughter. it was a crazed disbelieving laugh. I bet she could not believe I came back just for this. Her laughter annoyed me. How dare she laugh.

"It's not funny," I said glaring at her. "Just sign it and I'll leave"

"No," she said, looking me right in the eye.

"What?" I asked stunned.

"I wouldn't sign it, signing it would mean I acknowledge you as my daughter"

"I am your daughter" I deadpanned

"You were never my daughter, you were just evil, sent to torment me!"

"Torment you?... Me? Torment you!, I was the other way around. I did nothing but try to get you to love me, I was a child, I was 5 and you tried to kill me. I lived in fear and sadness, you were the one tormenting me, even after I left you stayed with me, in my dreams hurting me."

She just stared at me. " You were never a mother to me, but you did birth me, so even if neither of us like it, you ARE my mother, so sign it and I can leave"

" What if I don't? What will you do then?" she asked menacingly.

I was at a loss, I wasn't expecting her to make things difficult, I expected so much more, I expected remorse and guilt. Not her still hating me and having a daughter that she loved, a daughter she choose to name angel...was I really just a devil to her?

" I met your daughter, Angel, nice name"

"Don't talk about my Angel!"

"Does she know about me?"

"Why should she? She's a happy girl, she doesn't need to know about you"

"I'll tell her, she said she likes me, I could tell her I'm her sister, and you tried to kill me. She seemed nice, I'm sure it will hurt her to know her moms a psycho"

" You wouldn't dare," she said, at least that seemed to frighten her, I looked at her in a way that made it clear, I would, I would dare, a thousand times over.

We stood at a standstill, steering into each other's eyes, waiting for the other to back down.

"Fine", she said

She signed it and slid it back to me

" Now get out, and don't ever come back," she spat, glaring at me. If looks could kill.

I took the form, wordlessly, and left.