chapter 15

It was Sunday, the day of the party, and I found myself feeling nervous as I got dressed. I even considered changing my outfit. I thought of wearing a dress since it was a party, but I decided against it. I didn't wasn't to seem to desperate. Then I considered a skirt, but I laughed the idea away. I didn't even own any skirts.

I wondered for second why I cared so much... It was just a party, I mean yes it was my first but I not like I particularly wanted to go. I only agreed because Dean invited me and I only agreed be he seemed desperate. So why was I putting so much effort into looking good for him. Wait scratch that not for him. I wasn't for him. I didn't care what he thought of me!! I thoroughly warned myself. If anything I just didn't want to look bad. Not that I care what people think but rumors could hurt Uncle Duncan... Yeah that was it.

In the end I stuck with my original outfit and emerged from my room around 5:30pm. Make no mistake, I did NOT spend the whole day getting ready. I actually spent most of my day preparing for the NSOA's physical exam.

My outfit covered most of the scratches I got while training. I did most of my exercising in the wood close to where my home was. I was quite and barely anyone ever when in. The trees acted as obstacles, keeping me alert and quickening my reflexes. I wasn't the best place to work out. I got a lot of cuts scratches and splinters. I could have just as easily gone to the gym, but the reason I chose the woods was because of where I knew I wound end up. I intentionally started my exercise at the end of the woods. Running, swinging on branches. I stopped here and there to either catch my breath, do punch ups or pull ups or other kinds of exercises, and by the time I ended it all I would find myself at the strangler fig tree I hid in that night and it was short run to the sight where that horrible event happened. Where my family was taken away from me... The place had been left untouched. Clean up was done but anyone with a brain can guess a building got burnt here. The soil around was still black from being mixed with ash...

To be honest I sometimes doubted myself. I wondered if my quest for vengeance was really worth it. I knew finding the people those responsible and making them pay wouldn't bring back family back, but every time came here and looked at the ashes of my stolen happiness, my resolve was strengthened . They took away the most important people in my life.

Every time I came her my thoughts always had me drifting into space. Lamenting my loss and wondering what I could have done differently that night. I had long since stopped blaming myself but the 'what ifs' still lingered. I would even think of what I would do when I found those responsible. I wondered what they would do. Would they remember me? Or was I just another life they ruined? Would they beg?... Did they have a family? People who meant the same to them as Dave and David meant to me?... If I ended up killing them would the people who loved try to avenge them like me? Would I be starting an endless cycle of violence?

Dozens of these thoughts and alike ran though my and I always came back to the same conclusion. I WILL AVENGE THEM. Maybe that made me selfish, pursuing some thing knowing full well no good will come out of it and it was bound to cause others pain but I didn't care. What about my pain? I need this. I needed closure, and if I have to kill every 'Howlings', then... I would.

My started hurting every time my thoughts got to deep. I came back to reality and first thing I noticed was a concerned looking uncle sitting opposite me and frowning.

"I've been calling you for a while now" he said worried.

"Oh sorry I was lost in thought" I said forcing a smile. He didn't look convinced.

"What were you thinking about" he asked. I said nothing, with earned me a sigh and returned to his laptop. Uncle Duncan never pushed for me talk unless I wanted to, or unless he felt it wasn't necessary. I appreciated it but most of the time it left a weird tension between us. I sighed thinking of something to say. I didn't have to think long.

"Are you nervous?" asked Uncle Duncan.

I nodded not wanting the tension to last and maybe I was a bit nervous...

"I know its your first party but don't worry, I'm sure you'll have a great time with Dean" he smiled, saying the Dean's name in a fake girly voice. It made me laugh.

" But just as a reminder lets go through the rules again" he said seriously.

Since the dayIi told Uncle Duncan about the party he made recite a list of rules to follow as while as other 'safety measures'.

I rolled my eyes as I began.

" Don't let him lock the door of the car. Keep an eyes on land marks. Don't drink anything he or anyone offers, I should get my own drink. leave before the party's over so can get home on time. call you when I arrive, sometime in the middle and when it ends. don't get drunk. Don't kiss him, don't let him kiss me. His hands shouldn't be anywhere near or on me for more than ten seconds...And if he tries anything I shouldn't hesitate to break every bone in his body especially because I have you."

Uncle Duncan kept nodding at each one as I continued. I agree some of his rules were ok and obvious but other were just excessive and over protective, but I knew better than to complain. I gave a cute baby smile when I was done wand Uncle Duncan gave he a solid thumbs up.

It wasn't long before the door bell rang. Dean had finally arrived. I opened the door to see him standing in before me. He was wearing black jeans, and boots a grey shirt and a black leather jacket. He looked good, really good, completely different from his usual nerdy pull over look. I blushed realizing I had been staring. I felt embarrassed but then I noticed he was also staring and still staring at me. His eyes travelled up and down unblinkingly. I sudden felt conscious about my look. He continued to wordlessly stare until a loud cough caught his attention. It was Uncle Duncan coming up from behind me and he didn't look pleased with Dean. Nice first impression I whispered to him and he actually blushed. It was cute.

Dean clearly embarrassed to be caught cleared his through and offered Uncle Duncan a hand shake. Uncle Duncan stared at him for a while, almost as long as he had been staring at me. Dean squirmed under his gaze, it was quite pathetic actually. Uncle Duncan eventually shuck his hand. It was a firm hand shave and to my surprise dean took it well and after a few warnings from Uncle Duncan to Dean we were off.