Akaashi 7

"What do you think you're doing you lowlife punks?"

Kita-san with his hands crossed on his chest asked the three bruised legal-aged guys kneeling on the floor with their hands in the air, still glaring with each other. Suna and Hinata are trying to suppress their laughs, afraid that Kita-san might asked them to kneel down like the three. While Tsukishima and Kiyoomi are just watching Bokuto-san and Osamu with disgust because of how embarrassing they acted just a while ago.

It was such a mess earlier when they heard the two fighting. They wouldn't stop even Kiyoomi and Atsumu tried to stop both of them. Atsumu was even punched by Osamu that made him joined the brawl. And that's what the scene Kita-san and Suna saw when they arrived after calling a cab for their wasted friends.

"Why am I even included? I just tried to stop them but Samu punched me!" Atsumu whined but shut his mouth when he saw the cold stare Kita-san gave him.

Tsukishima nudged my shoulder and motion me to come with him outside so I stood up to my seat and followed him after avoiding Bokuto-san's eyes. I saw in my peripheral that he was about to stand up if only Samu didn't stop him from leaving. But unlike earlier, I am not anxious because I know that they won't make a scene like what they did earlier since Kita-san is with them.

"Are you really dating Osamu-san?" Tsuki asked bluntly right after I closed the door of the store behind us.

He looked at me with a serious look on his face while waiting for my explanation that I denied them for the past six months. I sighed and shook my head because if it's Tsuki, I can't lie.

"But why are you with him? Wait are you really with him like he claimed when you went MIA?" His brows crooked and like earlier, I didn't say a word and just nod at him.

I don't know what to say anyway. I can't tell him why I left because I don't want him to think bad about Bokuto-san when I'm the one in wrong here.

Tsukishima sighed. "I don't understand, Akaashi-san. Did you break up with Bokuto-san? He just said that you left but he never mentioned about you two breaking up."

"Tsuki... When a person left you, doesn't it mean that they want to end whatever relationship you have with them?" I asked in a tiring voice that made him silent for a minute.

"Does it have something to do with the girl he hugged during their match with Argentina? Did he cheat on you?" He asked irritation could be heard on his voice.

I smiled and tapped his back. "No Tsuki. If there's one who's in the wrong, it's me."

Tsukishima looked at me with a confused expression.

I chuckled. "Don't think about it that much. I just gave him back to his world."

I said to end our discussion and went back inside to get my things when I bumped with Bokuto-san who was about to go out to follow me and Tsuki. He looked anxious when he saw me.

"Akaashi..."

Bokuto-san has a worried look on his face and that's when I noticed that he loses some weight. He has bags under his eyes as if he hasn't getting enough sleep lately.

"Keiji, let's go. I'll send you hom- aw!"

I looked away from Bokuto-san when Osamu who's still kneeling, called me using my first name for the second time that made Kita-san slap his head. I giggled when he pouted like a little kid that made me forget that Bokuto-san is just in front of him.

"Stop provoking that owl you lowlife creature!" Kita-san said before he looked at me.

"Do something about that owl while I discipline this notorious fox. Remember what I told you earlier?" I nod when I remembered how he called this thing, fate.

"I'll just take my things." I said to Bokuto-san without looking at him.

I took my things and walked to where Samu is, pulled out my hanky and wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth, whispering the words I didn't manage to tell him.

"Thanks, Samu and sorry that you got hurt because of me. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm not the same Keiji anymore." I said with a smile to lessen his worry and handed him the key to his apartment that he gave me earlier.

"Are you sure?" He mumbled so I nod.

He sighed. "You know where to go anyway. Don't get swayed." He whispered enough for me to hear and ruffled my hair like it's natural between us.

I know that he doesn't have feelings for me, that he's just doing it to protect me from having those nightmares again because we're friends. That's why I needed to do this, I need to properly end things between me and Bokuto-san coz I don't want to stay like this forever.

"Akaashi let's go." Bokuto-san's angry voice ruined the fluffy mood between us that made Osamu scowl. I shook my head with a smile and said my goodbye to everyone in there before I followed Bokuto-san outside.

He has a blank expression on his face when I met his gaze. He didn't say a word and just called a cab since it's quite late now to travel in train. We are both quite in the cab while we're traveling to his apartment.

His because it's not my place anymore. And I don't even know if he's still staying at our old place.

I just look at the window trying to process in mind what should I tell him later. I'm still confused on the way he acts but I don't want to ponder over it. All I have to do is end things between us calmly and formally.

Because, I want to start over with my life now, without this heavy feeling in my heart for ruining his life.

For taking him away from his world.

I want to laugh heartily without faking it, like that one time with Samu and Kita-san.

I want to forgive myself for making Bokuto-san's life miserable.

And most of all, I want to love again. But this time, I'd make sure that it's meant for me. That it's not something taken by force.

I don't want to get pitied again. I don't want to experience that kind of suffering again.

I want to love and be loved in return.

I want to forget this excess feeling of mine towards Bokuto-san.

I want to unlove him.

No, I need to unlove him.

Those were my thoughts when I entered his place that I once called home. I'm surprised that he didn't move out or nothing changes on it except to the cans of beer scattered everywhere.

"Akaashi..."

He hugged me from the back before I could take off my shoes. Holding me tight as if he doesn't want me to let go, resting his chin to my shoulder. I stiffened on his sudden attack but when I smelled the alcohol in him, I get back to my senses.

Of course, he acts like this because he had a drink before they went to Samu's store earlier. And him seeing me with someone else, hearing someone else took a claim on me in front of our friends, his pride got hurt. How naive of me to get swayed by his warmth, his kisses and his reaction that is all fake for sure.

I didn't pull away or answer him. I just feel so tired in everything. The place that I once loved to go home to, feels suffocating now.

"Bokuto-san."

Even calling his name that I loved before, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth now.

"Hmm..." He murmured.

"I love you." I whispered softly that made him embraced me tighter.

I gently take his hands off of me and faced him.

"I love you, Koutarou." I repeated while holding his hands, but I ignored the w ay his eyes sparkled.

"I love you, Koutarou Bokuto." And then I gave him a tired smile and released his hands from my grasp.

"But I'm ending it now."