Akaashi 8

"Hey, are you alright?"

Tears starts to fall in my eyes when I saw Osamu waiting outside of my old apartment with his motorbike. I don't know why he's here but I felt relieved when I saw him after I formally bid my goodbye to my first love. He held me on his arms and let me cry just like back then when he first picked me up from the vortex of Melanphoria I am in.

For the second time, he saved me again.

He's warm and comforting. And I'm glad that I met someone like him and Kita-san. They're the one who helped me to love myself more. Helped me realize that I'm still worthy regardless of what I did in the past.

"Shh...it's okay. You'll be alright Akaashi. You've been there before, you're stronger now." Osamu said while gently rubbing my back as I keep on cry it all out.

The pain that accumulated inside me.

The suffering I get from loving someone I shouldn't.

The loneliness of being neglected.

The little happiness that made me keep holding on.

And the memories of us that kept me from leaving his side for the past years that I spent on loving him one-sidedly.

I'm just proud of myself because I managed to tell him those words without shedding a single tear. I don't want him to see that I'm still hurting. I don't want him to know that he can still make me swayed by him. I pulled away from Samu's embrace and wiped the tears using the hanky he gave to me and looked at him with puffy eyes.

"You're so ugly damn it!" Osamu joked that made me smile a little. He cupped my face and squish it with both of his hands, making my lips pout that made him laugh so hard.

"Staph lafheng! Ayl khil you!" I tried to talk but it just made him laugh even more louder that I had to cover his mouth with my hands.

He stopped squishing my face still trying to suppress his laugh and handed me his extra helmet.

"Let's go to my favorite place while it's still my birthday." He said and put on his helmet and ride on his motorbike.

"You dummy! We had a drink earlier are you crazy?" I said after realizing that he drove here even though he drank a lot earlier.

Osamu smiled. "I didn't. I'm the one cooking for everyone, remember? Besides, I've been meaning to ask you for a stroll after the party that's why I didn't drink any alcohol for safety purposes."

He confessed that made me wonder what happened to all the beer that Suna is giving him. My eyes widened when I realized that he's been giving it to Aran-san that's why he was the first to get wasted.

"Oh, I got busted." He said chuckling to his own cunningness.

I immediately put on my helmet, ride on the back of his motorbike and then we go to his favorite place. I don't mind going anywhere anyway and besides, I like the feeling of the cold night breeze that gently brushing to my body.

"Hold on tight, I know it's cold." Osamu said when he pulled my hand and make me embrace him tightly. I do what he says without complaining since it's the truth anyway.

The heat coming from his body feels nice in this cold night. And it made me realized that I'm still lucky. Coz even though I'm unlucky with the person I love, I'm still lucky to the friends that I acquired.

The drive didn't take long, maybe because my mind is wandering somewhere else or maybe it's because Osamu drives really fast but it doesn't matter anyway. What matters to me is the place that he brought me to.

"Are you serious? This is your favorite place?" I asked that he just answered with a nod after handing me a plastic full of sparklers and drag me to the entrance of the building.

"Miya-kun! I thought you're not coming! I've been waiting since earlier." Greeted the old man who's probably on duty tonight.

Samu gave him another plastic bag and in exchange, the old man gave him a key and let us in.

"Hey, what are we doing here in Inarizaki?" I asked in curiosity but he just drag me inside the building and went to the roof top where he used the key he got from the guard.

I didn't ask for more when I see why this has become his favorite place. The view from the roof top is mesmerizing. It's not the lights coming from the houses and buildings but the stars.

It's rare to see lots of stars in Tokyo that's why I learned to appreciate the life here in Hyogo. But I didn't know that this place here is the best for stargazing.

"You like it?" Osamu asked after he lay a big blanket on the ground that I didn't know he had. I nod my head vigorously with a wide smile on my lips so he pulled me beside him, making me sit right next to him.

"Every time I'm down, I go back here and stay here until morning." Samu said with a smile on his face as if reminiscing the past.

He lay down with his hands as pillow and stare at the starry sky. I did the same and it feels nice. As if the stars took all my troubles away even just for a while.

"Care to tell me what happened to your talk?" Samu asked for the first time that made me look at him when I felt his eyes on me.

"It's okay if you don't want to."

I gaze back at the star and sighed. "I told him that I'm ending this love of mine."

"I'm proud of you that you didn't get swayed. You're not fragile anymore." He chuckled when I slapped his shoulder lightly.

"He didn't stop you?"

I smiled wryly. "Why would he? He doesn't love me."

Samu remained silent.

"I'm a hypocrite if I don't say that I hoped for him to stop me from leaving, like I always do. And it hurts when he didn't. He just kept his head down after I told him that I'm going to stop loving him. He didn't even look at me when I left." I said and starting to tear up again.

Samu wiped the tear that fell in my eyes with his thumb and gave me a reassuring smile.

"You did a good job leaving." He said with a proud smile on his face.

I sighed and gaze back at the starry sky with a sad smile plastered on my lips.

"But I should admit, I don't know how to start over. I still feel like I'm lost in a pitch-black place after losing the brightest star that's giving my world a light."

Samu sighed.

"I don't know what to say but somehow I understand what you've been going through since Tsumu always pester me before because of Hinata." He said while scowling as if he had a really hard time because of it.

"Love is already complicated in heterosexual relationship but it is more complicated in your case. But I don't blame you. If there's someone who we should blame to your misery, it's that child of Aphrodite who shoots his arrow without aiming properly." He sounds irritated that made me laugh.

Samu looked at me with a wondering look on his face. "Are you okay? You're being weird Akaashi. What's funny?"

"I just remembered how Tsuki used to call that son of Aphrodite." I said in between laugh.

"What? He's Cupid, right?" Samu asked with his crooked brows.

"Normally we call him that, but not for Tsuki. He used to call him, Diapered-asshole." I said that made him laughed.

"Well he deserves to be called like that." He agreed. That's how the mood lighten between us. We talked random things that made me forget a little about my broken heart.

Forget Bokuto-san a little.

"You still love him, right?" Samu asked out of the blue while we're lighting the sparklers that we almost forgot that we have.

"Of course. It's not easy to forget that easily. I still do love him." I answered while staring at the little light given by the sparkler.

"What if he's the one who will run after you this time? Will you take him back?" He asked and light another sparkler and give it to me.

"Honestly, I don't know. I might. But it's not going to be easy." I said and looked at Samu.

"It's hard to give your trust and heart to the same person who broke and trample it right? I'm traumatized. When I saw him earlier, memories of my suffering when we're still together flashes in my mind and I thought, I don't want to experience that thing anymore." I said that made him silent.

"I still do love him but, I want to value myself more this time. And I want to forget those memories of us that's giving me nightmares every night. So, it's not going to be easy and it'll take long." I answered firmly.

"Well if ever he does run after you, I hope it isn't too late for him. And he has to get passed through me first. I'll hang you, upside down if you let you take him back without my consent." Samu said that made me giggle.

We changed our topic again and totally stopped talking about my failed relationship for the rest of the night. And I don't know if it's because of too much crying or the alcohol I drank that I end up falling asleep to his stories. And I just woke up from Samu's gentle voice calling my name while tapping my shoulders.

"Akaashi...Wake up, it's almost time." He whispered.

I slowly opened my eyes and sit facing the railings of the rooftop wandering what is he talking about. My sleepiness disappeared when I saw the view of the rising sun. And I feel relieved for some reason. As if the weigh has been lifted.

"You like it?" Samu asked that made me look at him with a light-heart.

"I love it."

He smiled and put his arm on my shoulder.

"You lost your star that gives you light, let me give you a new one right there." Samu said and as if on cue, the sun slowly goes up giving light to the whole place, making the darkness disappear.

"Thanks, Samu." I whispered and looked at him with a sincere smile on my face with tears in my eyes.

Tears of relief.

"Let's make this day the start of Keiji Akaashi's new life. You're now reborn. But this time... Value this more." Samu said while pointing at my left chest.

"You only have one heart, Akaashi. Give it to someone who will cherish it this time." He said with a gentle smile plastered on his lips.

And for some reason...

That made my heart skipped a beat.