Chapter Hundred

I stare at the card the next day, who was he? I exhale, seeing Andrew has frustrated me, I know I shouldn't have pushed him away but I couldn't bear to have him so close. I wanted to forget things we have shared but having him so close has reminded me about all the things I have wanted to forget. I walked to the mirror and stare at the woman I have become, sad and lonely and I wanted to change that. I have to change that, I couldn't endure being weak for the rest of my life.

I dressed for the office, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do, I didn't want to go back there it reminded me that it has been here I practiced started my perfect journey, I crouched my chest and end pain the pain which shot through there. Will this pain ever end, I have no other option than to do what I wanted to do today even if it going to hurt a lot of people I don't want to live the life than I had to wanted I want to change myself, I want to change everything about be since life hadn't been fair or treated me well.

I drove back to the building, Mandy would probably be waiting for me and would hate the news I was going to bring walked, I walk inside staring at the interior I had fallen in love with this place the first day I walked in here but now it only makes me feel more sadness and pain. "I have to do this" I muttered climbing in the elevator and waiting for it to drop me in Mandy's office "Hi babe" She greeted with her usual cheerful smile. "Hi, I let her pick peck me.

" So you're here for work because I have arranged your office in the way you'll love it". "Umm... Mandy, I think you need to sit". " Is there any problem, tell me I'll take care of it". "I wish it something you could oftake care of". " What is that? Her expression changed as she waited for me to break the news to her. I looked at her, it was so difficult to say even though I had practiced what I'm going to say to her but looking at her now the word feels so hard to come out. "Mandy... I'm...I'm quitting". " no, you can't say that you can't quit, you love this job so much". "Not anymore," I said her sad and at the same time angered expression. 

"Please, you don't have to do this"  "Mandy, please don't stop me, I think this is the best thing for me to do, I can't stay here" Mandy shook her head in tears. "You can't just leave everyone and things you love and had worked for, you have to fight". "Theirs nothing to fight for don't you get it, theirs nothing left for me Mandy, can't you see it". " please, their still if you fight for it, you can't just let go please Becca". I moved a step back from her. "I'm sorry but I need to go" she stood and watched seamlessly at me. When I turned to pull open the door. "Please don't do this". " I'm sorry Mandy" I whispered before walk-in out of the office.

This was it, I have left another thing that I had loved and cherished because there was no happiness in doing it again, it just feels as if the joy that I had once had in doing all that has been drained away from me. I walked out of the building not dreading to turn around, knowing if I do I might be tempted to go back inside and ask for my job back not that Mandy would ever hesitate in giving it back to me. I headed to the usual place I had now found calming to the club, this wasn't me it was pain.

When I arrived, I made my demand and ordered a table at the far end and watched those emo troop inside the building, I gulped down three of my bottles and ordered for more, I think I need to drink the pain all out. It was going to help me I think. "Don't you think, it too much for a woman like you"?I looked up from my table to meet a man who was smiling down at me, I ignored him the way I ignored the previous one from yesterday.

Can I sit? He asked but no response came from me, I focused on my drink without bothering to look up at him again. He made himself comfortable beside me without me asking him to do so, still, I didn't feel the use to talk to him. " I thought I wouldn't see you again since you left without responding to me". Now I turned to glare at him. "I was the man who ask you to meet him but you left without even trying to know who I was". " I don't have any business with you do I didn't have any reason to know or talk to you"

"But, I'll like to know you". " If you don't let me be you won't like what I'll do to you" I let my pain and anger reflect in my tone. "I love your energy, but I can help you get over the pain you are feeling now," he said smiling down at me. "You don't know me and I'm sorry to say this but I don't need your help" "you have to get over your pain and you and monthly by drinking all day long and sitting all by yourself". I grab my drink and stood up to leave but he grabbed my hand. " you need to think about this if you want to move on". "Let me go! I felt like smashing the bottle on his head but I fought hard to restrain myself, I wanted to drink and stay by myself in peace but it seems that I can not do any of that, I just wanted peace of mind since I can't find happiness.