The Pain Never Goes Away

   There was a long silence between us. It felt like an eternity. I was starting to panic. I didn't know how mom was taking it. Her calmness did not sit well with me, she was supposed to be crying her heart out but there she is behaving as if she is not the one who lost a daughter. 

"Mom !Mom !! Are you alright?"

I finally spoke again.

She inhaled deeply.

"Jenny? I am coming to  Reben Castle"

With that she hung up. I placed the phone back on the bed . Tears streamed down my eyes. I can't do this anymore.

I buried my head in my pillows and sobbed. My whole body was shaking. This feels worse than any torture.

At least, torture felt natural. The pain doesn't hurt this badly. 

    I wanted to go to sleep and forget everything. But this isn't a dream. I know, that this is reality. I know that this has happened and that this cannot be a dream but yet the pain persists. The pain never goes away, no matter how hard you try to escape it.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

The sun rays shone inside my room. I groaned and covered my face with a pillow to block them out. 

"Henny!"

   I turned towards the door to see Zain standing looking at me with concern. He wore nothing but grey sweatpants and a gray tank top. It looks so good on him. I immediately flushed red at my own thoughts.

Zain walked closer to the bed and placed his hand on my cheek.

"I made breakfast, come and eat"

 He said softly. His voice was laced with concern and caring.

I slowly raised to his eyes level. He placed a kiss on my forehead and I snapped back to my senses. I still have just the towel. What was that?! What's going on with me?!

"Umm.." I trailed off not knowing what to say. He gave me a smile and gestured for me to get up.

I did and he left the bed then headed to my closet . I followed and stood behind him as he he drew my closet open.

"Left for me I would not mind if you stay without clothes "

 He said, turning around to face me and holding a shirt in his hands.

I blushed and he chuckled

"Here"

  He handed the shirt to me. I slipped it on and stared at him intently waiting for his reaction. 

"You look great but what is a shirt doing in your closet?"

He asked, smirked then winked at me.

I cleared my throat,

"Uh.. thanks "

I rambled nervously.

"Nothing, I just love shirts. You kind of forgotten that I always like wearing your shirts back then"

He raised his eyebrow at me and smirked

"Really? How so?"

His eyes twinkled as if to tell me to explain further.

I hesitated. He was staring at me. I couldn't look away. I could barely move even.

Fuck! Shit! I can't do this anymore.

I walked over to him and threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and buried my face on his neck. His arms snaked their way around my waist and he squeezed me tighter.

"I can actually show you want I mean later but not now"

I smirked and pulled away.

He sighed and dragged me out of the room.

We entered the kitchen and I stopped walking.

 The aroma hit my nostrils and I inhaled deeply. I just realized how hungry I am.

"What did you make?"

I asked eagerly.

He chuckled.

"Your favourite"

I grinned at him.

"My favorite?"

He smirked at me.

"Yeah or have you forgotten?"

I nodded, not trying to ask him further. 

  "Are we not supposed to be mourning?"

I questioned myself. 

Looking at how lovey dovey we are behaving, someone would think we prayed for Susan to die or that we killed her.

  The thought killed every appetite I had and I lost the gloom on my face. It's unfair how we lose someone and we find something to keep us happy. I know we have grieved but I felt it was not enough.

  "I sorry sis, you don't deserve any of these. I wish there is something I can do"

Zain stared at me blankly, he had this question in his face" what went wrong"

We have to do everything possible to be fine but we are to do it soberly. 

I turned wordlessly without saying anything and left the kitchen.