One Has To Go

Tasha's point of view.....

  I handed my handbag over to Catherine and proceeded to leave the office. I was done for the day. Since Felix left my office, I haven't been myself and again, Catherine has been keeping a straight face at me since which has to do with our fight. I kind of have been feeling bad since but after much thought, it was what is good for me and business. I can't be mixing pleasure with business, it won't work well for me. One has to go before the other  succeed.

  "Thank you Catherine,"

I muttered and looked around to see if I was leaving something behind.

  "You are welcome ma'am. Is there anything else you will want me to do for you?"

My eyes met hers.

She gave me this really kind smile, it seemed forced but I don't care too much.

"Nah, there is nothing. Just make sure the boutique will be closed properly, you know what I mean?"

  She sighed and looked up at me,"I am resigning. I won't be able to work for you again"

I was shocked to my narrows. The last thing I expected to hear right now. I know I told her to resign if she has to but I never meant it. 

  Before I could say a thing, she handed an enclosed envelope to me.

 "This is my resignation letter. I wasn't sure to give it to you but on second thought, it will be the best thing for me to do. I love you so much Tasha and if you can't have anything to do with me then I can't be here because it will be painful too for me to handle."

   The words she spoke to me made me feel like shit. She was giving up her job for my sake and even though we don't have a deep friendship, I didn't mean to upset her. My heart ached as I stood in front of her looking at her and not knowing how to react or how to make things better. After a while, I opened my mouth only to close it again. I tried once more but no word came out of my mouth. I knew that I have to say something, anything at all but the words won't come out.

  She smiled and took my hands in hers,"See I understand, you don't have to say anything. I understand you perfectly well and that's why I am letting go of this job. Forget what we had, though it was important to me. I consider you as a friend and I do not want anything to happen to that friendship. I believe if I am far away from you, whatever I feel for you will melt down within space of time. Don't worry about me, I will be fine and I will get a good job that will pay as good as yours."

   I nodded since I could not say anything.

"And don't forget, if you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you"

  Having said all that, she handed my handbag back to me, kissed my two cheeks and left my office. 

  Once she was gone, tears escaped from my eyes. I felt my heart clutching and I knew right again, I was going to be alone. I have lost her and the friendship she offered, the care free girl I know and everything she stands for. It did not occur to me how important she was until I saw her walking away.

  Once again, I am alone. I don't know if happiness is not meant for me. Will I have to keep struggling for it?

I sat on the chair and covered my head.

Why does life have to be so hard on me? 

Life is just unfair. Life is just cruel. Everything is wrong. Everything is just terrible. What am I supposed to do now? It hurts. It hurts so badly. I couldn't take it anymore.

   With one heavy sigh after wiping my face clean, I got up and walked out of my office saddened . I never said anything to my employees, I am sure they know what to do and if I was to say something to them, I would not find my words. 

  I know I wanted this but why does it hurt so bad? Is it because I can't accept the fact that I was never loved by the one true person I wanted? Or is it because I had to deny the fact that Catherine has been there for me. Forget her rowdy behavior, she is a sweet soul and would have made a good lover if I had let her. Or is it because I want something else, something I can't explain?

  I guess I will never know the answers.The questions will keep clouding my head and still, I will not have answers to any of them. It could be my fate though, never to be happy.

   I turned right and I found myself outside the building. How the door was opened for me, I can't tell. I was walking like a lady without her own mind, with only one thing to do and that's to drown myself in my own alcohol.