Some Love

I stared at the card, not sure if I should take it. After leaving here, I would not want anything to do with him. If I remember, he is getting married soon and for that to happen, I don't need to be a distraction because he looks like he is distracted now.

  "He is sitting here with you doesn't necessarily mean he wants you. He might have want you in the past but not anymore"

   My mind said and I must say, I was uncomfortable with that thought. But why should I? It's not like we were together in the first place, it's not like he will be interested in me after betraying him. But how exactly did I betray him? 

   I can't see betrayal from what I did. I wasn't not even given a chance to make a decision. The only thing I did wrong was not contacting him and telling him I left home because I was forced to.

  Clearly, I could understand how he might have felt when he came several times and did not see me. I have been in love and I know how it feels to be rejected. But if he can see this from my angle, he would know that everything was for our best interest. I don't know how rich his family is, one thing is sure, they would not want their son to date a middle class lady. And again when they find out who and what I am, I will be frustrated. Ava is in his class and she is the best for him, though she has her own flaws.

"You don't have to think too much about taking a card. I am not asking you out on a date, even if I am, you can always say no. So if you don't want the card, you can reject it. It's that easy"

He mumbled not looking away from my face. 

  I had thousands of reasons not to accept the card yet there is this one reason stronger than that thousand reasons.

"There is nothing wrong with having each other's contacts. Like you said earlier, we are not enemies but then I feel it's best if we don't contact ourselves. I feel ashamed of myself for what I did to you. When you left yesterday I was so angry and yet on second thought, I saw through it. Some love is not supposed to exist. You are about to get married and no distractions should be around you"

I stopped to watch him. He was blankly staring at me. I am not even sure his mind is here anyway. Still I have to let my thoughts out whether his mind is here or not.

  "Look, be happy for how things ended between us. We are worlds apart. Yes, I might have elevated myself through hard work but you must agree with me that our love might not have survived then for so many reasons. Some which you are aware of and those you are not aware of."

He sighed and cracked his knuckles.

  I continued," I don't even know if I felt the way you did back then"

All this sermon for just a mere card. Who am I kidding? Lesbian won't cease to amaze me"

He remarked and stood up immediately. His once blank expression turned cold.

   "Look here, I did not come here for you to justify your actions. I only offered you a card and you can't stop talking. I wondered if I had asked you to get back with me after seeing you again. You would have given me one million reasons and talks why it can't happen. Can't you keep quiet for once?"

He was shouting. I looked around and realized that all eyes were on us. It felt like the ground should swallow me. He was embarrassing us.

  "Keep your voice down, Felix. You are shouting"

I stated calmly and that seems to infuriate him more.

  "So I am shouting now. You were talking, I kept quiet but now I started to talk and you say I am shouting. You are unbelievable, Tasha. I can't believe this"

  His voice rose above normal and there was nothing I could do to make him stop shouting. From the corner of my eyes, I could see people taking pictures and videos.

 That's what civilized society is about. People are obsessed with making videos and pictures other than saving lives. You see life snapping out of someone and all people can do is take pictures. Gosh!

"Just bear this in mind, you might have successfully removed me from your mind for your selfish reasons, one day, you will regret every decision you took about us"

  He turned and left without sparing me a glance.

  I gritted my teeth, sitting right on my seat like a helpless child.

  "Your order,Ma'am"

I nodded, not looking up.

  I put the bills on the table and as I raised my head ready to leave, I felt liquid dripping from my hair. One cup of coffee was emptied on my hair.