261: I Dont Love Me Around Her.

🥀Happy reading❤🌹

Why am I like this? I am all jealous, I don't want to see Daniella with anyone and at the same time, I didn't want her. I am angry at the little things she does and that disturbs me a lot. I don't know what to do. It's killing me to think that I am trying to snatch her happy moments from her, that should t be the case. She has been through a lot and she also deserves to be happy, but I don't love myself around her, it is like I only want to hurt her more, I don't want to accept she is okay and doing very fine. What will I do?

'Maybe you should give her some space, let her do what makes her happy. She had studies you know that very well and if you keep distracting her from it, it is going to frustrate her very badly.'

I don't want anything bad to happen to her you know. Sje is special, I mean sje is important. She has children who depend on her for many things and if I am going to destroy that then I am the person with a problem. Maybe I should let her be, I will have to get a phone for the kids in case they want to call her, instead of doing the call using my phone.

        "Excuse me, sir, where are we going to next?"

Zainab startled me from my thoughts. I need to look for something to do to make sure that I don't have her crawling back in my head. 

Take us to the Lexure furniture, we need to pick something for the kids. 

We were going I pick their beds and I hoped they will love to have their beds to sleep in, instead of choking each other to death while they are sleeping. 

The kids were talking amongst themselves and that gave me a chance to talk with Damien who has not even said 'hi' ever since she was reunited with Clara. It's like he just escaped from the face of the earth and doesn't want anyone to find out whether they had a good night.

Texting him, I hoped that he will reply to me as soon as possible but instead he didn't. I wanted t know if they are okay and if nothing bad happened between them.  

When I couldn't get a reply, I decided to turn back to it my phone, and maybe check some of the Instagram stories from various people. Guess whose stories came first, Brain. Opening it, he was in some resort with Daniella by her side. Why would they be hanging out and partying? I thought Daniella was busy doing some important things. In the other story,  they were busy casting. Why would they do casting if no modelling or photo shoot needs to be done?  The last one had Daniella hanging with some man that I don't know about. I felt my heart shatter and anger ran up my throat.  

                         Fuck! 

                   "Dad, you okay?"

I looked at my side and Rose was there with a concerned face looking at me. Did I just say that word in front of all of them? This is not good. I think I need to focus on other things than thinking about Daniella and what she is doing, I am supposed to be happy for her and look at the three amazing kids that I am hanging with today. 

Sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I wanted to say fantastic but ended up saying that word, I am sorry, are you okay?

Rose shook his head and smiled at me, ugh, I am supposed to pay for that. Two burgers for him and some expensive meals that only come in when I say or a curse. 

        Okay, I will do it, though I said it came out as a mistake.

"We said mistakes don't happen with cursing, so it's either we get those expensive meals, like some edible gold newspapers or a boneless goldfish with some Asian salad."

Rose knows how to get me at that. He will make sure he ordered something very expensive just so I can get hold of my mouth. Damien was always cursing, he got ten thousand dollars for cursing and if I keep thinking of Daniella I will be cursing a lot and that will mean more than just a meal. He will even snatch my responsibility.  He will start deciding on what meal he wants and I can't change that.

Okay, I will do that after we are done with what we are going to do. 

I explained to him as Noelle and Zeke looked at us. I smiled at them and they smiled back at Rose. 

         "So, what are we going to do at the Furniture store? "

Let's see Noelle, I want to get a bed for your brother so that they don't choke each other when sleeping. Plus we also need to get you guys some other things for your rooms. Rose, are you okay sharing a room with Zeke?

Zeke and Rose looked at each other and smiled. I don't know their type of connection but he didn't need to say yes because I was seeing that with their smiles and high fives.

               "What about me?" 

        You will take an extra room, is that okay? 

I hope that Noelle won't be mad at that. She was happy instead and agreed to it. Arriving at the furniture store, we had to change the beds. Rose and Zeke had to choose different beds but then I realised that I would need to remake their room and dont need to get a bed for both of them, though I needed a carpenter to help me, so we picked a bed for Noelle. Noelle picked a normal bed. It was white and spacious. For once picked something expensive. Then she picked a spring mattress. This was good because she would have a big bed and a big mattress.

"Okay, so in case, we are going to ve watching, you guys can sleep in my bed and even play games in my head, I know your beds will be small."

"Okay, you won't stop overthinking about it. Just know I sleep near the wall."

Looks like our small player here had the habit of boasting when she has something. Done with the shopping. We also got a study table, for Noelle and ordered some special equipment like a computer for her and a lamp light. She wanted her room to be decorated with fading sky blue colour. She didn't want any stickers only the stickers of important basketball players which I got her. For the boys, Rose loved stickers for cars and motorcycles, for Zeke she didn't want any stickers. He loved his room just normal. Though he suggested a pink colour which made me raise my brows later, I let him be.

Is everyone satisfied with what they have? In case you want other things we can order them or you can always ask and we will be getting them, okay?

They nodded and we headed home because we had a lot of work to be done. I had to get a painter and a Carpenter who will help with the boys' room.

Noelle helped the painter to decorate her room. She placed her bed next to the large window where the sun rises from. Though I didn't think it was a nice idea because windows are dangerous, she said she loved it that way. She had five pillows, and some other two on the window.  A succulent plant is on the window and candles are placed in a straight line the window. It was scary because in case she lights them, they might fall and burn the bed. Though she promised to be careful. She decided to divide her big two. She preferred to have a different place for studying and a sleeping area. I had to mount a television up to her wall in the sleeping area. She referred to warm lights in her bedroom but for the studying section, she used the study lamp and normal lights. Her bathroom was just normal, though she had different soaps and washing shampoos. She prioritised her body more than anything. She picked towels and all of them were white. Neatly arranged. She didn't have clothes yet in her closet except for Rose's navy blue jacket hanging in there. For her bed, white bedsheets were dominating.

In the boy's section, Their room was divided equally and their beds were placed on a bunker form leaving the underground for studies. On Rose's side, he used blue to colour his wall and some grey sheets. His closet was neatly arranged. Casual on their side, clothes neatly put together and stuck to their various sections. They each had a bathroom and a toilet which was necessary to monitor who is dirty and who is clean.   He had a large study table, which held books and other stationeries. For Zeke baby pink dominated his room, he still picked light blue sheets and his jazz was hanging neatly on the wall. That is the only thing he picked while coming here. His closet just like Noelle's it was empty but they were getting new clothes soon. He had a study table, but not with a lot of books but novels and sketching books. Different pens and pencils dominate the area.  Though he also adored some expensive bathing lotions and oils. 

I was happy that finally everyone had a place to sleep and they won't be choking each other. They cleaned their rooms after the hectic day and joined me for dinner making. Noelle kept her brother away from knives but for her, she would use them without a problem.

Maybe this is the young family that I want, but one thing is missing.