Chapter 50

“Why didn't you tell me?” he looked pained at the realization that I might have told Kwofo about my problems and not him.

The expression on his face tells it all.

“You had your set of issues and I would rather not add to it”, it will be selfish and self-centred of me to ask for his love when he too is passing through more than I am. 

“It will be self-centred and selfish of me to burden you with my issues, you're also passing through your grieving stage, and for me to add more to yours will be so greedy of me.

I'm not all that greedy (I am greedy when it comes to certain things, but not to the extent of burdening my father with my concerns. What happens in my room and my life stays in my room and life) to burden you with problems I can solve on my own”,

“ You couldn't rely on your father, but you could an outsider?”, I can feel the hurt in his voice," am your father for god's sake, I am entitled to know of your dealings, you can't expect me to fold my arms in grieve while the only son we had died slowly in grieve.

What will Marita (that was his pet name for my late mother) say if you die in pain while I wallow in mine?

What will it profit me to lose a wife, and while grieving loses the only son I have? the only son who makes me strive to live.

You're the only reason why am still in Makoha, I would have joined your mother wherever she is if not for you and my promises to her, those are the only things holding me back from joining her”, he paced the floors, what would I have done if you've died?

He looked up at the ceiling," What if I wasn't here to hinder your fall, what would have happened?”.

My death would have happened, I didn't tell my father of my problems because I would rather not burden him with so little a problem, my sleepless nights come on days I recall my mom, those are the only time being either burdened with a restless night or a nightmare filled night.

The reason I climbed the ceiling wasn't that I was having a sleepless night today, but because I wanted to eavesdrop on his conversations.

I didn't tell him that, who knows what he would have said if he were to know the truth.

It's quite ironic, I almost fall to my death just to eavesdrop on a conversation I wouldn't want to take part in.

It wasn't my fault entirely, I overheard a person saying. The juiciest stories are told anytime parents ask their children to retire early.

The talk, according to the same person, will be the most interesting of all.

“Thank the gods you were here father”, I smiled, “everything happens for a reason, the gods knew of my fall that was why they delayed you from going back”.