Chapter 53

 

Two days had already passed in a blur but maryam still felt the pain in her chest. It had an unpleasant warmth to it, eating at her chest. It sears through her heart when she had a flash back about what happened. Just like a horror movie, it played again in her mind as if somehow her brain was unwilling to let the terrifying images go and in it’s attempt to analyse them, it made her see it over and over again.

 

 

 

The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. She paused trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside her but she couldn't. The tears flowed nonstop, and just like that, the floodgates opened. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. Her chin trembled like a small kid. She breathed heavier than she ever had done before. She was gasping for air that simply wasn't there. Her throat burned with pain. She wished this was all a dream, a horrendous one.

 

 

Her phone pulsate getting her attention. She answered the call even though she didn't know who it was. It was an international number, she knew definitely it would be Mahmud. “Hello, manha.” He gave utterance to. “Hey, Mahmud, how are you? You traveled without even saying goodbye,” She spoke in a very low tone. She didn't want him to know something was wrong with her. “Im fine Alhamdulillah. Yes, I'm very sorry about that. I've been a bit busy for the past two days that I couldn't even squeeze in to come say goodbye. I'm in Ukraine now as I speak.”

 

 

 

She heaved a sigh and closed her eyes. She didn't want to cry but the tears wouldn't stop. She badly wanted to tell someone what happened, him to be precise but, would he even believe her when she tells him what happened? She saw how dejected he was when he saw her in his brothers arms. She felt ashamed of herself. He might even thought they've made love before. “Manha? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Something happened?” He bombarded her with questions. 

 

 

Her remaining thread of strength frayed before breaking completely, sending her plummeting over the edge and into the darkness. Somber sobs shook her thin frame, threatening to tear her apart from the inside. She fought to reclaim control over her body, shocked by the sounds escaping from deep within her soul. “Can you please tell why you’re crying? You are really scaring me Manha.” He lamented, worriedly. She took deep, shallow breaths to calm herself. “I'm just sad about what mujahid did to me. You know how I don't want to marry him.” She reminded him. 

 

 

He was silent for a while and she figured out maybe he doesn't want to talk about it or he doesn't care perhaps. The thought of that worsened her situation. “May Allah make it is for you. I really wish I could do something about it,” he muttered and she chuckled. “It’s okay. I take this as part of my destiny and I pray for the best.” She noted. “Thats much better, manha. Now I have to get going, I’ll call you later, okay?” He assured. She nodded, “yes, thank you.” And he ended the call. She kept the phone and sigh, the sigh that came was a signal, not of her resolve leaving but of the level his tension had reached. 

 

 

She heard a soft knock from the door. She looked up and watched as her mother came in. She didn't even care to wipe the tears away from her face. 

 

Mommy has been trying her best since the night it happened for maryam to speak up but kept saying the same it ‘it’s because of what mujahid had done to her.’ And mommy knew there was more but, she just couldn't put a finger on it.

 

 

“Maryam, you haven't eaten your breakfast and its almost time for dhuhr prayers.” Mommy said walking further in. Maryam looked at her plate and looked at mommy standing in front of her. “Get up and go take your bath and pray, mujahid is waiting for you downstairs.” She informed, arms on her chest. “Mujahid kuma? What is he doing here? I don't want to see him mommy,” she tried to argue. “Please do this for me, okay? I don't want anything that has to do with him too but just do this for me. And besides, your father is at home, he would be angry with you if you leave mujahid waiting.”

 

 

Maryam tried to protest but mommy shook her head. She heaved a sigh and stood up. “Thats more like it, my dear. Now hurry up, he's waiting.” She said before leaving the room. She sluggishly walked into her bathroom. She stripped her clothes off and entered her bathtub. She thought; what was she even going to say to him? He even has the guts to show up at her place and demand to see her? Allah knows she wanted to strangle him till he wasn't breathing at all, maybe she would feel less pain. Maybe he was the one that sent those guys to rape her, who knows? She shrugged the thought off and finished with what she was doing.

 

 

After she got ready and prayed, she stepped out of the room and descend down the stairs to the living room. She entered the living room through the dinning room same time he was coming in together with daddy. She knew they were coming back from the mosque. She greeted her father, head ducked. “Why didn't you go to work yesterday maryam?” Daddy questioned. “I wasn't feeling good daddy, but I'm fine now alhamdulillah.” She muttered fiddling with her veil. “Masha Allah. After you're done, meet me in my study,” he stated before leaving.

 

 

She heaved a sigh and settled down before turning on the tv. She changed the channel to her favourite and pretended like there wasn't any human being in the living room other than her. He looked at her and chuckled. He saw how pissed and uncomfortable she was but he didn't care. “Ignore me as much you want, the fun fact is that you'll be my wife in less than three months. I advise you to drop this foolish attitude and give me your attention. I don't have much time to waste.” He spoke harshly. She smiled, her eyes still pinned to the tv. There was the mujahid she knew, the harsh, rude guy.

 

 

 

She still didn't look at him or reply to what he said even though she also wanted to say hurtful words to him. Heck she wasn't even good at hurtful words. “Okay, I'm sorry. Can you please give me few minutes to speak with you....” He let his words trail off when she turned and threw him a menacing look. “What mujahid? What? What do you need from me after what you've done? After the pain you've caused for crying out loud.” She seethed, brewing with anger. She breathed heavily trying to avoid the tears from flowing. She can't cry in front of him, not anymore. 

 

 

He smirked, staring at her face that was about to blow. “Look maryam, I understand that you're upset for what I did but I couldn’t help it. I am in love with you and my brother is trying to take you away obviously and I can't let that happen.” He spoke thoughtlessly. She glared at him for umpteenth and hissed. She slowly rise up from the sofa and gave him a death look. “You want to marry me right? Go ahead and do that, I will show you who maryam actually is. I will make sure you regret ever having the thought of making me your wife!” She exclaimed before dashing out of the living room. 

 

 

The fact that he was so selfish disgusted her. She hissed softly and continued walking to her room. She has other things to worry about and he was out of the list.

 

 

He chuckled and also stood up. He thought of every possible way to win her back as he drove home. He wanted her to love him back like he loves her but things keep getting more complicated for him now. He knew definitely he was being selfish. One, he didn't even care about how Nadia feels when he told her he was getting married to maryam soon. Two, he doesn't care about how maryam disliked him now. All he wanted was her, he doesn't care if she doesn't want anything that has to do with him. Luring her in would be easy when they get married.

 

 

He parked the car at the parking lot and hopped out. He walked into the house and met Nadia in the living room watching TV, something she rarely does. She was always in her room. “You're back already? How’s she doing?” She asked smiling at him. He raised his brows, acting as if he doesn't know what she meant. He plumped down beside her and kissed her temple. “You know who I'm talking about silly.” She giggled a bit and hugged his torso. “How did you know I went there?” He couldn't help but ask. She smiled bitterly and snuggled closer to him. “I know how much you don't like wearing kaftaan so you only wear it when you're going to see her,” she whispered. He wrapped his arm around her waist. 

 

 

“Are you okay with this, Nadia?” He inquired. She looked at his face and nodded, smiling. “I wasn't okay with it before but after I sat down and think about it, I realize it’s better I let you do what you want since it’s not haram right?” He quickly nodded smiling. “I'm so sorry for the things I've said to you and for what I've done. I'm so sorry. I can do anything to make you happy.” She avowed and hugged him. He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. “I'm really glad you have finally understood your mistake and apologized. And don’t forget, marrying her doesn't mean I will love you less or won't have your time. I promise to treat you right and love you equally, okay?” She smiled again and nodded even though deep down she felt the urge to strangle the both of them to death.

 

 

“You haven't said anything about what we talked about last night,” he reminded her. She sat up right and looked at him. “I really want have my first baby with you Nadia, please you have to stop taking those pills,” he pleaded. She could see how desperate he was about it. She knew mujahid loved babies and she would do anything for his happiness but her career comes first. She can't risk that. “Baby, I've already stopped taking those pills since that day you found out about it. I also want to be the first to carry your child and I know this is just a matter of time, in sha Allah our prayers would be answered.” She assured him. “Now come,” she said and stood up before taking his hand. “We should go to our room, I have a special surprise for you,” she whispered into his ear and kissed it, he gave her a rogue smile before carrying her upstairs.

 

 

**

 

 

“Maryam, I've been asking you whats wrong with you but you keep on crying. Do I have to call mommy before you speak up?” Aydah asked standing before her. Maryam sat up right on the bed and shook her head. “No please don't call her. Sit down, I’ll tell you whats bothering me, I promise.” She said holding Aydah’s hand. Aydah sighed and sat down beside her.

 

 

“Do you know what your brother did to me? The pain he has caused to my heart? He went to daddy and asked for my hand in marriage and daddy accepted without even asking for my opinion.” Without even mentioning his name, aydah knew she was talking about mujahid. She looked at maryam’s tear stained face, unable to think of the right words to say to her. “Daddy called me to his study earlier and told me they were going to fix the date next month after your father is back from his business trip. I tried to reason with him on that but he diverge my opinion saying he gave me almost a year to bring a spouse but I refused to.” Her eyes dripped with tears. She was so heartbroken and in pain. “Aydah I have been through pain, more than you can imagine, more than anyone can....” She almost choked when talking. 

 

 

 

Aydah hugged her and she sobbed into her chest unceasingly. Aydah slowly stroked her back while giving her a pep talk. Maryam pulled away after a while and wiped her tears that still gushed out. “It feels good to get this out of my chest,” she admitted with a smile on her face. She wanted to tell aydah more, tell her how she got raped but she couldn't. She felt tongue tied. She felt like it was her fault for being raped. If she hadn't gone out, this wouldn't have happened. “I will always be by your side whenever you need me,” she assured her. Maryam nodded, smiling and hugged her again. She felt a little bit at ease after speaking with Aydah even though she couldn't tell her that bitter story.

 

 

All her focus now was how to deal with mujahid and make his life living in hell!