Chapter 93

We stopped at a nice restaurant for dinner before heading home. Layla was clearly hungry and so was I. 

" You made me leave my burger behind!" she complained as we were waiting for her meal. I scoffed and shook my head. 

" How do you manage all the pessimistic energy within you?" 

I was honestly curious. Somehow she managed to find something bad in everything. We were in a nice restaurant waiting for an equally nice meal yet she was complaining about a bloody burger she had bought at a questionable joint. It's almost as if she refused to ever see the good in anything, like each time something good happened in her life she was certain that it would be overrun by something awful, so she refused to be happy. That explained why she had been so against my decision. She didn't reply. The food came and she waited for me to start eating first before she did,and I got to know just how hungry she had been. 

" Let me guess, you haven't eaten all day?" 

I didn't need her reply because I knew my assumption was correct,she slowed down and her face was coated in a slight layer of pink, she put down her cutlery and reached for the glass of water on the table. 

" Don't stop on my account. "

I really felt like scolding her, but I stopped myself because if I did then there were chances of her getting upset and letting the food be. So instead I continued with my meal silently, hoping she'd feel comfortable again and do the same. The plan worked, I was satisfied after the first few bites but I still went ahead and ate because if I stopped she'd just feel strange and grow self conscious. 

I drove as home after that, I wanted to carry her suitcase for her but she took it from me and began making her way to the building,I once again let her. I even let her hurry ahead of me and go up the elevator alone because she wanted to. I let her do everything she wanted because she was silently venting. But I could oy stay away for so long, after my shower I went to her room and without bothering to knock, I walked in. She was seated on the covers, her head against the headboard and her thoughts clearly far away. She threw me a glance but then went back to her silent brooding. This time I decided that I was going to speak my mind, she would get upset no matter what I said so there was no point to carefully choose my words. Walking over to the bed, I stood next to her and crossed my arms. 

" I'm starting to think your ego outweighs my own, " I said and she frowned and turned to face me, her eyes falling to my bare chest for a moment before she forced herself to look at me. 

" What's that supposed to mean?"

" That your pride is so great it makes you hurt yourself just so you could prove a point. "

" Look who's talking--"

I got on the bed, then I shifted until I was on top of her. She placed both her hands on the pillows and turned to the side, I watched as she visibly swallowed,my eyes keen on the soft skin of her neck. I leaned in and she let me, her hand naturally going up to grasp my shoulder. 

I wanted her, each day was a battle and I was seconds away from losing, how did she expect me to keep my distance when she affected me the way she was? I wasn't satisfied with what we had, I wanted more. I needed her to let me take the last goddamned step because if not my body would never stop screaming. 

" So you'd rather stay hungry instead of using the money I gave you? Money which is yours by the way, compensation for helping Arden out. "

" It's too much. "

" Not to me it's not. " 

" I'm so confused!" She said and I leaned back enough to study her expression. Her eyes landed on my lips, then she trailed them up to meet my own. I asked her what she was confused about and she chuckled sadly. 

" What did you mean, when you said you'd give me stability?" 

Was she really going to make me spell it out for her? I didn't want labels, I had never liked them. And I had never been as emotionally invested with another person as I was with her. And the truth was that I also didn't know what I had meant,but I had a pretty solid idea. 

" What do you think it means?" 

She shrugged and said she didn't know, then she told me to explain because she didn't want to be confused or to think things that were wrong. In my head I concluded that she didn't want to bud high hopes for the sake of nothing. 

" Fine then. I meant we won't have to hide anymore. "

I hoped she'd let me be but she raised her brows inquisitively. I knew the word she wanted me to use, if I used it then she would be at ease, but it was harder that I had thought. When I took too long to respond she started to turn a bit gloomy, I couldn't stand it. 

" From today onwards you can consider yourself my actual girlfriend. "

Her eyes widened and she studied me closely. She couldn't believe I had just said that and neither could I. I also couldn't believe how right the words felt. And after I told her that I realized there had been no reason to get so tensed about it. So what if I had never had a girlfriend before? Having one now didn't change the fact that I was who I was. And that way, no one would dare to mess with Layla because they would know for certain that she was mine. And as long as the news didn't get out to the general public then it was okay. Arden's mom was a real fan of the internet, so news like that would definitely confuse them. 

" And you're not just saying that?" 

" For once in your life will you just believe what I tell you?" 

She cautiously wrapped both her arms around me,then she smiled and I knew that she had chosen to trust me. It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulder. And she seemed happier about the news than I ever would have thought. I suddenly grew aware of her, beneath me. Her body against my own. I kissed her, and when I dared open my eyes I knew that she had tasted my heat, my lust. Those same things manifested themselves inside her and I saw their reflection in her own brown eyes. 

" Gabriel," 

I didn't know why she had called me,but the desperation in her whispered voice told me all I needed to know. 

" Yes?" I kissed my way down her neck, fisting my hand in her top because I very urgently wanted it off. It had been too damn long, I realized. She didn't say anything and I looked up at her with the same depth in my stare, I hoped whatever she had to say wasn't going to be negative because at the moment my mind was functioning out of need and desire. 

She kept quiet, then I watched as she reached down and took off the top she had on before she tossed it aside, her eyes glued to mine. 

" Layla?" The worried look she wore was confusing me, her actions didn't match her words,and I was about to ask her whether she was okay when she spoke. 

" If we...I mean, if you and I, you know, you won't lose interest,will you?"

" Wait, what?" 

For the second time that day she had told me something that managed to render me speechless. The mere fact that she could ask me that. 

" Goodness! Is this why you always said no?" 

She shyly nodded, her eyes on my chest because she found it hard to look at me, I however made her do so. I needed her to see the earnesty in my eyes when I said what I wanted to. 

" Don't tell me you thought I only wanted you for that?" 

" Maybe... sometimes. "

" Fuck!"

Was that really the impression I had given her. Well, I suppose she had been right to assume such a thing but I had also believed she knew how much I cared, and my feelings did outmatch my physical craving for her. I was more worried about her as a person and the fact that she doubted that both hurt and angered me. 

" I don't know what you want me to do to prove that you're important to me. But I swear to you that it's not about the sex, I admit it was at first but not anymore. You matter to me, otherwise I wouldn't be so invested in you. "

Immediately after I said that she pulled me down for another kiss. I took it she believed what I had said.