Chapter 4

It was horrible, I have to contain all these in other to keep my family happy,

I got home panicking, but what can I do? I can't tell my mom she would take me away from that school, even though she doesn't have the money to put me in a better school, and she would be sad but she will do anything to keep her children safe.

       I got home, pretending everything was okay, my mom asked why I came back from School without my school bag, that was when I noticed I ran out of school without my school bag, how do I tell her your daughter was almost rapped by her principal.

      I can't lie while staring at her so I bent my head down trying to forge a lie, I knew she would yell at me for hesitating but before she could she was interrupted  but a knock at the door.

      I was so happy she was distracted,my brain couldn't forge a lie when she has her eyes glued on my body, I forgot happiness doesn't last forever at least not for me.

       My vice principal walked in,with my school bag in his hand,I couldn't believe my eyes but hearing his voice confirmed  my suspicions, I was so shocked ,wantedt urinate on my body, I  wished the ground would open and swallow me,I couldn't walk,I was So afraid.

    Staring at his mischievous eyes I could sense danger,he kept staring at me trying to read my reaction but luckily my mom noticed and tapped him on his shoulder bringing the both of us back to reality.

        He handed the bag to my mom telling her I left it in School while hurrying home,and told her all sorts of lies about me,I dont know why he would do such,if he is able to convince my mom that means he could convince anybody,I couldn't protest I wasn't that courageous.

        I felt like throwing up,how can he be  so evil and he doesn't find it hard to lie,he does it with ease and like an expert, at a point I became convinced that I actually did what he lied about,I started doubting myself, maybe I did things without remembering.

   Looking at my mom,she seemed to be less convinced by his words; she just nodded once a while like she actually agreed to what he was saying.I understood my mom very well and I knew she couldn't wait for him to leave the house.

 "Reth, why are you standing there like a statue? Come and take your bag inside". 

  I forced myself with great difficulty,just to move an inch,I took my bag,to the room and layed  on my bed trying to process what just happened. Why are people so Cruel?

       I thought to myself, standing up I stared at the mirror, looking at my reflection,I don't see an attractive woman,I only see a thin,dark skinny  girl,who looks like she hasn't eaten for ages and needs a bath.

     Anytime I look at the mirror I wonder why people see what I don't see in myself,even while I stare at the mirror,lost in thought I remembered when I was five years old I went to visit my grandma in South Africa.

        I wasn't her favorite grandchild though because I was fragile and weak,and prone to sickness, she calls me water leave. She loved my immediate senior brother because he was hard working,smart,funny and very good at socializing.

     I on the other hand can't speak my language,I only speak English,I am very quiet,weak, pathetic,stupid and every bad thing you can name well except stealing and lieing,I don't know about others but I really hate myself I wanted to be like others so much that I forgot who I was.

     Two days in my grandma's house,I understood the saying "there's no place like home"  I had to fetch water,and mosquitoes seem to like my skin alot,I had sores around my body and I looked like a masquerade in just two days,imagine my life in a month.

    But I tried to blend in,many people say I act to mature for my age,or I have evil in my heart or I behave possessed,I seem to believe them at some point,playing with my mate seems boring I like staying with adults and grown up,they seemed more interesting,but that lead me into great trouble and trauma I would leave to remember

     A relative of my grandma came to visit her and he claimed to like me alot, ' she is unique' he would always say, Carrying me in his arms or on his shoulder when ever I am moody or alone,I started liking him because he didn't run away from me like the others, people were surprised when they see me play with him, finally the little saddest smile.

    They would say I only talk to men, that I might end up a tomboy or a flirty person when I am older,but it didn't bother me I am used to discrimination, stigmatization and self conclusion,I know people must complain no matter what you do.

       Maybe they said it because I was little and they thought I won't understand because "what an old man sees while sitting a young person can never see it on top of the tallest mountain" but the foolish still grow old too,maybe they also have experience on being foolish but no matter the anger and hate I feel towards people who discriminate me for my nature I never disrespected them.