Chapter 7

    I became thirteen years old and hormones were working, their wonders on my body, I started developing weird feeling and sensations, I did know I could feel.

 I even blushed when I got compliment,and my thighs got warmer as well, i had  crush on my classmate and I understood what somethings meant, I entered high school, I figured out that touching a boy won't make you pregnant, I actually learnt that from biology.

      My biology teacher was an expert in saying things raw and how things  are without, considering the fact that we were just starting life, though I looked alot older than my age,no one would believe I just completed thirteen years. I looked two years olders and my body corresponded.

I had a full breast,curved waist like a mature woman and my face also changed a little, though I look like a baby sometimes. Some people say I have an innocent face and it is also hard to detect when I did something wrong.

 My highschool crush was more of a flirt and also my mister perfect . He seemed perfect, anytime he looked at me I forgot to breathe, my legs became weak,and to bottle it up he would always hug me anytime he sees me coming from my home in the morning, but he does that to everyone.

   I don't know if he did it purposely, because he was me  affecting badly, he was tall, intelligent,funny and every woman's man,all the girls in my class will throw themselves on him, I don't stand a chance against them,I'm not as beautiful, though he calls me his wife when he becomes flirty.

        But before my imagination became real he left the school,after that terms exam,I accepted that I could never love and be happy, like the rest of my classmates,but who claim to have boyfriend's.

   fate had other plans for me,when I resumed school I met another breathtaking crush this time he was a bad boy,like In my favorite movie though he wore school uniform,not leather jacket and boots,he sagged his trousers and was constantly flogged for not following the schools constitution.

    Though he wasn't as smart as my first crush,but he was funny and anytime he made a stupid remark in class as a clown that he is,I would always tell myself that no one is perfect and he would change one day, me on the other hand was more of a nerd I was respected by all juniors.

  They saw a nerd, I saw a less courageous person, they saw smart, I saw dumb , but that's their believe about my life so followed suit.

     I went to several competition and I became my mom's pet,teacher's pet,and students counselor, thirteen years was a blessing to me, I socialized more and I became free as a bird,I was constantly used as a example,to other students though I never felt like I deserved to be praised.

    Things were going smoothly, more like a routine, come to school admire the bad boy, study answer some few questions, take some notes admire him one more time then go home and daydream.

   But things got a little bit spicy, on valentine's day,the next year, my first crush asked me to be his girlfriend,it felt like a dream come through but I am not in love with him anymore,. Or in lust with him.

   But a half bread is better than nothing, now I could relate when some girls in my class talk about thier boyfriend's,  my love for adventure made me accept,I wanted to know what I would feel like to be in love or be loved.

      we started dating though to him,we were dating, to me I was learning new things and seeking adventure,my mind was elsewhere and my heart belonged to my bad boy crush.

   I only accepted because I thought I would never stand a chance in his life,I am a school nerd,and he's a school bad boy. It's more like water and oil,we can never mix.

 James, showcased all kind of love, more like the one in the movies, it was overwhelming, just too much to handle sometimes, I no longer feel love or likeness but guilt.

    While  I was in love with another person,James was very protective, though we were no longer in the Same school he would always come to my school after he closed from school.

      He acted like a make lion protecting a pack, I would always feel shy if he calls me his wife before anyone, or my  friends,, though I don't care about people, anytime he comes to visit I would be a little bit scared,and nervous though I didn't have any chance with Peter ( my second crush) I won't want him to think I am taken by another man.

      With what was going on,I started failing, academically, it was unexpected, but any spare time I had was either to bottle up my guilt of daydream, I gave my self time to lust and feel guilty.

  I would always come back home crying anytime I take a test in school and get a bad grade,I took the anger on James, reacting  to every little thing.

   I was too ashamed to blame myself instead I blamed others,I ended up breaking up with James,  after  so much argument,  but when I ask myself why?  The only reason I could say was he the reason I wasn't concentrating. I still had a soft spot for him though.

   He loved me genuinely," you never know how important someone is until you lose the person" indeed old people are wise,well some. Few months passed without James,but I still tried telling myself that I did something right.

   my education mattered more than anything,I struggled to get back to the top,but it was easier to fall than to climb.

    I payed more attention in class,I did extra home works,I became close to teachers especially my physics teacher Simon,he was my best friend,for a while before he left the school, second term passed and my result made me happy, though it was nothing compared to my previous scores but at least I passed with B's rather than C's or F's on my report card, it was a miracle, I need to congratulate myself for this.