Chapter 45

The realisation makes me cringe as I seem to accept the fact just now, that I'd surely need to confront him at some point in time.

Ughh I'm tired of all this. I walk to him with half a mind to actually start a conversation, but I just catch him sitting all by himself staring into the distance.

I inch my way closer and realise he has absolutely no idea that I'm here. I sit down beside him and just take some time to catch my breath. I can hide all the pain and heartbreak I feel under layers of laughter and goofiness, but all the same I'lll need to face it sooner or later. I'm just not ready yet so I'm going to do this how I want. I'll take the pain a little bit at a time.

I sigh and I can hear someone beside me make the same expression. "What do you want?" He asks and I'm a bit offended. "What do you mean, what do I want?" I ask expecting all the annoyance I feel at his words to leak out, instead it comes out weak, like I wasn't ready to deal with whatever animosity I was about to evoke from him.

A tired sigh is all I get and I can see he's not ready to have a go at it either. It's not like we'd ever argued before, but I get the feeling that I'd lose If it came down to it. "Why do you seem so sad?" I hear myself ask.

The way my heart instinctively goes out to this guy makes me suprised. I'm not really one to always poke my nose into other's buisness, but for some reason I seem to want to know everything about him.

I want to know why he's so sad. He ignores me like he dosen't care that I'm sitting just opposite him, and trying my best to seem like a concerned friend.

"I'm with your umbrella" I say, "Next time, can you just come up to me and ask for it directly?". The recalcitrant smile that he gives me makes me realise the impossibility of what I was saying. I practically shooed him away that day after he'd so politely asked to speak to me. I can't seem to imagine how this guy who pushed me into the mud that day seems to be the same person who got into trouble because of me.

"Why are you sad?" He asks me and the sound of his voice is like a spring bursting from it's source and thrilling the senses. "I lost my father and mother and now, I've lost the person I loved to one of the most silliest reasons on the planet" he gives me an understanding gaze and i can't seem to control myself from turning red.

"What's making you sad then?" I ask and he avoids my gaze and shrugs. "It's unfair, if I tell you my truth and yet you refuse to tell me yours". He meets my eyes and I can see pain in them. Incomparable pain that I can sympathize with. I clean the tear from his cheek and he speaks about his life.