Chapter 63

The lunch break had me walking about unconsciously looking for my support system, as this little ordeal that Clay has put me through has really shaken the living daylights out of me. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, I'm feeling so insecure right now, like as he was staring at me he had seen through all my better parts, and peered inside, to see all the insecurities that i buried so deep.

I searched for Scott to no avail, and then I had to go to the principal's office cause I knew that searching for Oakley would be sort of a goose chase.

Oakley as broken hearted as she is right now, would never sit in one place. I know my best friend that much, she would never let herself sit down and mourn, and so she will probably be off on some grand adventure, that I do not even want to know what type it is.

I can pass by the halls anytime now, and see her drinking with a group of boys, or watch her as she wrestles another guy to the ground. Oakley has no sense of manner or comportment, and that's what makes me like her.

Me with all my sense of manner and comportment has been broken five times now, she with no sense of manner and comportment has also been broken hearted, so it seems there's really isn't much of a difference between us. She's the fire to my calm and I'm really grateful for that.

She's my friend, she's been the one to help me through a lot of our situations, even when my parents were still alive she has always been there for me, which is why I'm looking for her now. I also want to be there for her at this moment, at this dark moment that she has found herself in, because I have felt this too.

I have felt the singular emptiness that belies the betrayal from someone you love, I have also felt that sorrow that we all seem to carry whenever we find someone we have placed so much trust in disappointing us.

It's the sort of sorrow that makes you want to enter the toilet and cry your heart out, but also that sort of sorrow that makes you strong on the outside. It makes you harder, so that no one can ever get to the point of hurting you anymore.

I'm looking for both Scott and Oakley because both of them have been hurt today, even though Scott does not want to show it. I know our actions from last night hurt him a lot, it would have felt like a betrayal to me too if I had seen him searching through my clothes just because I had behaved rudely to some girl we just met.

I'm searching for Oakley because she is also in pain, but she has her own weird way of showing it. I don't know why I can't ever seem to find exactly what I'm looking for, as instead of finding Scott or Oakley. I bumped into the chest of someone with Ash eyes.