Chapter 113

The broken expression he wears on his face does nothing to calm my already raging insides. I think that I'm angry at myself, and him for having broken us this much.

I'm angry at myself for not noticing this quickly enough to stop him while it wasn't that serious, but yet it seems that he had gone too far down this road, that it seemed too late to do anything right now. There was nothing I could do I realised, as what has been done has been done, what has happened has happened, what's left to do right now is live with the consequences of our actions.

"Arya please!!!" he says, his voice cracking from the grief that I hear in them. I breached the distance between us and I pulled him into a hug as he sobs quietly on My shoulder.

He finally let's out all the pain, and pain he has been feeling out as his hands hang limply by my side.

But is anything fair. I seem to remember now that we are basically still kids, kids whol still depend on their parents for survival and whose emotions haven't solidified yet to be tampered and played with the way we seem to do with it.

I seem to realise that we are still people just at the prime of her early years figuring out life by the moment, and yet we always take the rash decision of giving our heart out to someone else.

It seemed a really rash and irrational thing to be doing at this stage of life but yet I find I have done it four times now. I have given my heart out to people that did not value it, I had given my house out to people who could not seem to place their priorities right and so I had it broken every time and returned back to me. I was just nineteen and yet I lived with the mind of someone seventu years older.

Someone who always looked at the world around her with a sort of silent curiosity and bitter resentment at everything that has happened in her life.

I looked at the world like someone who sits behind a lantern, someone who has decided to give up on the game that is life and just let things play out how they wanted to.

I unlatch myself from Aaron's hug and he cleans his eyes as I see his handsome face is all puffed up from crying you refuses to meet my gaze but I can see him waiting expectantly for an answer, the thing is though I have no answer to give him.

Even with all his explanation, something had struck in my heart, a chord that seems to resonate with every breath I took.

Aron is simply not the one for me, he simply isn't, even if he has promised to change and to never let such a thing repeat itself again, I don't think we teenagers can keep to that promise very much.

We had also made promises to ourselves when we were in our first relationship, but yet look at where it has landed us, both of us broken and still dealing with the severity of her scars.

I don't think I'm ready to experience such a thing again, and the intentional stare I wrapped around my eyes make it known to him as his eyes finally meet mine.

I see something like hot and burning regret and anger at the world, but then a feeling of calm and acceptance entered them.

I marvel at how so much, has happened in just four, no five days.