Chapter 154

I realised that today isn't so normal after all, today isn't as normal as I would have wanted it to be. It should be a very special day for me and my brother, it should be a very special day for Scott himelf and suddenly I realise exactly why Adrian had taking his time to come so far just to follow us shopping. I realise exactly why Oakley suggested yesterday that we do not go to school, and instead go shopping today.

Today is Scott's birthday, and so it is that of my mum too. It was something of a surprise when I realised that my brother's birthday and my mother's birthday would practically on the same day. I think I was four then and mum had just given birth to him.

They had just giving birth to the scrawny little thing that they called my brother and expected me to treat with such amazing love and care. I remember the way I ran into my mum's room the morning of her birthday, only to realise that she wasn't there and for my father to come back in a few minutes later when he knows I would have surely woken up.

He takes me straight to the hospital telling me my mum has had a baby, and scrap that baby, it was her birthday and yet she spent it removing the big lump that was inside of her, the big lump that I'd always questioned her on how it got there, but which she had always laughingly and nervously brushed off as childish frivolity.

She never gave me any answers though, those matters were something my mum and I discussed in codes, secret codes that even in front of my father, he would never have guessed exactly what were talking about. We talked about girly stuff like it was every day non sensity, and I remember a pleasant giggle.

It seems even Scott doesn't realise today is his birthday, and even I did not realise it. I didn't realise today was my brother's birthday and my late mum's birthday at the same time, the birthdays of two important people, so important people who I had totally forgotten about. Oakley rubs my back suddenly as she sees the downfall in the expression on my face.

She sees I am utterly disappointed in myself for not noticing something so important, something as important as the birthdays of two of the most important people in my life. Two of the most important people whom I have neither been paying attention to. The only thing I have done for mum was to grieve for her, I have grieved her death as much as I have grieved each and every stupid relationship I have gotten into, but I have done nothing more.

Scott my brother whom I have paid no attention to up to this moment, who also doesn't know his birthday is today, how is possible that his sister also shouldn't know. I should know every important thing in his life, but yet when I do not my eyes widen in shock.

I realise something else should probably be coming with this birthday, a party perhaps. The wicked grin in Oakley's eyes tells me that is exactly what is going to happen next.