Chapter 175

The walk home is oddly pleasant even if I had suspected it would not be. I had suspected that Scott would still be in such a bad mood, a very bad mood which would ruin the rest of the day but see he wasn't.

He was in a pleasantly reserved mood if that was what I would call it. He was sad about all this no doubt, but he's dealing with it silently.

I decide to suggest a little detour and visit and ice cream shop just around the corner. I had invited him too so we could just have some ice cream and it could take his mind off whatever he was thinking about. I can't say that I can ever put myself in my brother shoes, I can't really ever know what is going on in his mind, but yet I think I feel some of his pain.

I had also felt this similar type of pain as much as I'd like not to admit it, and food always helped. It always helped for my stomach to be full and for it to be full of something that had been incomparably sweet. It always helped me to forget the bitterness of whatever encounter I had just gone through, and so I had wanted to invite Scott to come sorrow drink ice cream with me.

He had neatly refused and said he would be heading home alone, and so I should enjoy my ice cream, and not bother about him.

 It seemed Oakley also needed something of a confidence boost at this point, and so she had gladly accepted to come have ice cream with me.

The ice cream shop is what I would call modern, modern and hip, and so it already had a huge arcade of video games just at a suitable corner. There was already a lot of activities going on in one other part of the place and I wonder exactly how people get the idea to build up structures like this, structures that would fetch them money at every turn.

My mind considers this notion for a good moment, and I wonder if I shouldn't also be making money. Shouldn't I also be making money and leave all these stupid notions about finding love alone.

Isn't it better for me to start being a boss than to fall in love with the next person and also get broken and battered like some invaluable wench. 

It seems my encounter with Scott's life has just opened my eyes up to something, it has opened my eyes up to the fact that even if I do not want my heart to beat for people, even if I wish the heart stopped beating all together and just let me go in peace, I realised I can't really control that stuff. The same way Scott can't control what he feels for Adrian, it's the same way i cannot control the feelings in my heart. I cannot control those feelings that makes me almost want to run mad and excited at the same time as my eyes clash with warm ash ones.