Scott's pov.

After about the twenty second breath test today, after about me having the twenty second breath test that I would have today, just to check on my own breath, I was finally ready to go downstairs.

I was ready to go downstairs and I was already steeling my heart.

You are not going to show any emotion, you're not going to show any joy, you're not even showing sadness unless you are need it to repel others.

You are not like the others.

 That is my motto.

That is what i say to myself everyday because the others get hurt. The others get hurt but i do not get hurt.

I do not get hurt because i am not like the other.

I am different from them, i am distant from them, i am not like them because there is a them, and there is a me.

 I am totally different from them .

I'm standing at the front of my door now, I'm standing at the front of my door now battling with insecurity.

What if Adrian is still down there, What if Arya and Oakley are still down there, what exactly will they see me as now?.

I was drunk!!!!.

I think Oakley sort of knows.

I think she sort of knows about what is between me and Adrian but still, i can't say there is something between us, there is nothing between us.

He is simply a friend.

He is simply a friend I like spending a lot of time around because he makes me happy, he makes me feel genuinely happy at some point and i actually have to give it to him, no matter how loving of his girlfriend he is, no matter how inconsiderate and foolish he is, he it still a good friend.

He is still a very good friend and right now I'm battling between the urge to open this door and go down to possibly see that good friend or I simply go back to bed and I sleep.

I sleep till the next morning.

So which one will be better?, which one will be better??.

Something drifts into my ears.

It is not like it drifts into my ears, it's almost like I hear mum practically saying it.

"You won't know the remedy to your fear unless you face it head-on".

This is something that she had said to me when I was learning to ride a bicycle, this is something she had said to me when I was learning to ride a bicycle and I told her that I was scared of heights.

She practically talked me into the bicycle and she told me to take my first few pedals.

She told me to take my first few pedals and to lose myself in the fun. I should not think about the danger, I should not think about the repercussions, i should simply lose myself in the moment because you won't know the remedy to a fear unless you face it head on.

You won't to know the remedy to your fear unless you face it head on and I'm going to face this head on.

I'm going to face this head-on because this is what Mum would have wanted for me, it is what she would have wanted me to do, she would not want me to be confused, she would not want me to feel conflicted with myself, she would want me to face this head-on and I'm going to do that.