Chapter 381

Well i have to say that I'm stuck in a very weird place now, I have to say that I've been stuck in a very weird position right now because I'd always known that it would come down to this.

I had always known that it would come down to my decision but yet i had not thought that it would approach this fast.

I mean everything is just happening so all at once, I can't even focus right now.

I nod and I give him a shy smile as I stand up.

I look at him as I walk upstairs to my room.

My head is hurting, my head is spinning and I'm guessing that is more from the lack of sleep than it is from this conversation with Eras but still, what he said is ringing at the back of my ears.

What he said is ringing all around me, we are going to take it slow, I don't know who the we is, I don't know if he's talking about me and him or if he's talking about him and Clay.

I don't know if he's talking about the both of them in relation to me and I'm simply confused that i jump onto my bed hoping that it will swallow me up.

It does not.

It even pushes me back up, almost like it does not want me to sleep on it and I have to roll my eyes are this.

Sometimes life can be the most unpredictable thing ever but I'm really sure that I want this part yet.

 I don't really think that I'm ready for anything serious right now, I'm not ready for anything too much with anybody.

As of now I'm still tired, I'm still tired and I'm still reeling from the effects of Aron's breakup, okay, that is a lie, that is a silly excuse I have been giving myself and the world around me all because I am so scared to interact with anybody else.

But it's not like I'm scared to interact with anybody else am I?.

I interact with people just fine, I'm just scared to interact with anybody else in that way, it scares me, it truly scares me because I know that people are always the same, well that is not true but yet, you get what I'm trying to say right?.

Some people are always the same, especially when it comes to guys, they are always predictable and I do not want to fall for the predictable one again.

Clay and Eras have not shown anything bad about themselves, they have not shown me anything wrong about them except for this extreme obsession that they both have with me.

I am over blowing things am I not?.

My head is spinning and I want to sleep but yet I have to think about this, i have to think about this very well because tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow is a new day to start over and to let a whole other bunch of things happen and I don't think I'm ready for it just yet.