Chapter 152- Just Jealous (2)

Kathryn's POV.

I don't why, but I had to leave the party immediately, I felt stuffy and the surprise I had was a little unnerving, I didn't want to snap at this Madeline Lady, I wasn't in the mood for talks, so I went outside, calmly trying to catch my breath, since I felt out of it since she started the drama and I had a reputation to keep, so I didn't want to get mad there, I had to keep it in, it was important that I did that, it was better this way, so I smiled as I stepped out and the first rush of air hit me, I smiled hit me, not because the air inside wasn't enough, or even good, but the air and the atmosphere outside was more better for my mood, the mood I didn't even know what it was, but I wasn't in the mood for partying anymore or even socializing, it was better for me to walk out, I'll figure out how I was feeling later, maybe I just needed to get air and go inside later, I'll feel better, so the first rush of air was the best feeling ever, it made me smile, "yup." I thought inwardly, this is what I need.

Minutes after stepping outside, I still felt stuffy even with the cool air outside, I didn't understand why I felt this way, it was so unexplainable for me, I normally explained my feelings if I was asked by anyone or even understood them, but right now I did not understand anything and why I was feeling this way, it was weird, I moved out to the garden admiring my father's castle, it was really big, it has lots of gardens, even in the event hall, it was very big, and Lyn made the design so beautiful, she threw such a party for me, helped pick the guests, I know she may have had no choice to invite Madeline, this party was based on invitation, and she wouldn't come here without getting one, and it was obvious she knew who I was before I even found out, I didn't even know she was Bas's ex, I don't even know much of his exes, but I do they are a lot, which actually made me feel more stuffy right now, the cool air blew against me and I hugged myself tighter, I didn't feel better after standing here, I needed to leave here, it wasn't helping matters that I even stood outside to get fresh, so I started down the house, I'll definitely feel better when I wasn't standing close to where I had an argument minutes ago.

I reached home in five minutes, our house was really big, it took a long walk, and I had to hide from some guests who would have guessed that the reason the party was thrown in the first place is missing. Avoiding them has wasted my time in reaching the house, I would've reached before five minutes, but I kept pausing and glancing around so no guest coming in would see me.

I walked into the parlor and I was happy to see that there was no one there, it was better this way, I sat down and heaved a sigh of relief, I was already tired from my mission avoid the guests who were still coming in, I walked up to the counter, and poured a glass of milk, downing it immediately, I sat down and took off my shoes dropping them close to me.

I could see the missed calls on my phone,from Bas, Lyn, Gabriel, Dylan and Matteo. I sighed ignoring it, my phone was silent anyways, so I wouldn't hear it ring, even though it rang, I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, I needed to understand my feelings, I still didn't know why I was feeling this way, and when I thought about it, I suddenly felt stuffy, so I just smiled again, this time faking the smile, trying to see if it'll help lighten up my mood, but it wasn't helping, so I sighed and leaned back on the chair closing my eyes, wishing I'll drift off to sleep immediately, but that didn't happen, I was still in turmoil about what happened at the party, occasionally without me willing for it to happen, my mind went there and I was annoyed by it, it felt like I had to think about it all the time even when I didn't, it was so damn annoying.

I tried thinking of anything pleasant, but my mind kept drifting off to what happened, and it Irritated me everytime it happened, I was trying to relax and not think about it, but my mind seem to have a different opinion than what I had or wanted, and it was so annoying.

I sighed as I sat off, there was no need pretending I wasn't feeling a different after the incidence at the party or forcing myself to sleep, I was just wasting my time.

The most annoying thing was the fact that I did not even know what exactly was wrong right now, I wanted to call it anger, that I was upset with Bas that his ex embarsssed me, but it didn't just sit well with me, even my confused mind right now proved that even if I might not know why I was upset or anything, it didn't mean I was angry, so I scratched the "I am angry at him because of his ex." It wasn't in the picture,but my mind failed to tell me what then was in the picture, it didn't even give me clues and for the first time I experienced what I often here as not realising one's feelings, I didn't realize my feelings right now, but I was feeling bad, and I hoped I could figure it out maybe then I would just find a way to make it go away, then I'll stop feeling stuffy and just rest after figuring it out, but it was obvious I wasn't getting my wish.

I glanced up immediately I heard the door open, Dylan, Matteo, Gabriel and Lyn walked in and paused immediately they saw me, I saw Dylan heave a sigh of relief, and Matteo just shook his head with a smile, Gabriel just sat down and pulled his shoes out.

"We've been searching everywhere for you, where have you been?" Dylan asked, he looked really worried, he must have been searching a lot for me.

"You must have searched everywhere but here." I shrugged.

Dylan shook his head and sat down, Lyn came to me rubbing my shoulders, "I'm sorry she came on to you that way, I did not been know she'll come, it's her father I invited, cause he was an important guest, but she came in his place, to obviously target you." Lyn said and I just shook my head.

"I'm not mad at you Lyn." I replied with a small smile.

"Good, don't think she's important, though she'll make it seem like she is, she isn't, she's just really obsessed with the nothing of being together with Bas, even when he has made it clear from the start, that it was just physical." Matteo said and I flinched.

"Don't tell her that." Gabriel said noticing my flinch.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Bas is still looking for you." Dylan mummured bringing out his phone, he called Bas.

"You can come home Bas, we've found her." Dylan said, I could hear Bas say something, but I didn't make out his voice well.

"We met her there," Dylan said, "come on, she looks like she's upset, though she's trying to hide it." Dylan added like I wasn't seated here and I rolled my eyes.

I saw Bas rush inside the house, heaving a sigh of relief when he saw me, I stared at him and he paused, regarding me slowly, and then it dawn on me, that all this while, all this time I felt stuffy, and the time I needed to leave the party, and I couldn't realize my feelings, that I was jealous, it was Jealousy that made me feel that way, and it surprised me, because I've been Jealous before, but it hadn't been this way, the Jealousy I felt was because I felt like this Madeline of a girl knew him way more than me, so it made me jealous and seeing Bas in person, just made me realize that all those feelings were just jealousy, it shocked me, but I just masked the shock in my face.

"Hey Girlie." Bas said and I tilt my head staring at him, I was still surprised about what I had felt all this while, so I just kept a blank expression and stared at him.

"I'll be upstairs." I said to no one in particular, I needed to go up and collect my thoughts for a little while, but I knew he would follow me.