Chapter Thirty Six

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She dished the food as they both took it to the dinner, sat and was ready to eat.

So what is it that Burdens you? She asked once again as he took a bite from his meal.

She watched him eat and swallow what he had eaten before he attempted to speak.

Umm.... He let out, using his fork to play around the food before him.

Is it the girl? Margi seemed to have been left with few options of what could ever sadden Ray if it wasn't work.

Ray looked up, as he was almost surprised how she would have thought of that. Though he wasn't completely surprised due to the fact that Amanda was the only girl he ever brought home apart from Rebecca, besides Rebecca was a while ago.

Umm..... He let out again, scratching his hair.

Oh, it's her. I see. Margi said with a smile.

So where is she? what happened?

Did you both return together?

Not really. Ray said as his fork was still on the dish.

She was mad because of something a girl who clearly doesn't matter told her.

So she didn't join me as I prepared to go.

So you left her? Margi inquired with a surprise tone.

There was nothing I could do. Ray responded.

Did you try to find her?

Yes, she already booked a flight that morning back to Ontario.

Did you go to the airport and maybe try to find her and convince her to go with you?

Ray knew she wanted the best for him, but life wasn't some romance movie. If she wanted space, he would give her.

No, I did not and I think it was for the best.

Oh Raymond. If you want something you go for it. Don't let your uptight attitude keep you from getting what you want and perhaps what you deserve.

Ray went about his lunch as Margi preached all the relationship advice she had in her book. He appreciated having her talk to him sometimes but he didn't particularly enjoy when it involved a girl.

They were almost done with their early lunch before Tyler came in as he joined them.

Tyler spoke through out his lunch but Ray was in no mood to talk. 

Later that day, the two men had decided hanging out together since it had been a while they did that.

It's was Monday again in no time, but this time it was Monday in Ontario and not London. Amanda had just woken up, she felt a little unusual about going to work that morning.

She was glad to be back in Canada but she hoped she could deal with Raymond.

She hoped she could exhibit all her intentions. She hoped she would look at Raymond and see only Raymond Blazzer, her boss, and nothing more. 

Yes she would! She assured her self.

She got up, showered and was ready to leave.

She was now out, realizing how much she had missed Ontario. It was snowing, just like every other regular day. 

She had her thick cotton stuffed jacket over her regular work pants with a chiffon shirt and a black boot. It's was extremely chilly that day so there was no room for anyone to want to dress sexy. But she sure looks good.

She got to work and was soon in her office.

She went about exchanging pleasantries with alot of people and they seemed happy to have her back. Well, she was happy to be back!

She had gone over to Lang's office, as they discussed.

She almost forgot her self there that it was almost 10 AM. Tyler arrived and they greeted in so much excitement.

She had finally left to her own office and it was the first time she was stepping into that office in almost five weeks. It's felt same, nothing changed and it felt good.

Everything was left exactly how she Left them, even though she knew the Janitor's regularly cleaned the place.

She sank into her desk as she picked up an old magazine from her desk, gazing at the cover.

She stared at it for a while before her mind began to take her back to what had happened two days ago. 

She was finally faced with Cassie and just like she feared, Cassie successfully got to her. She had Left the party went straight to her hotel room, checked out of her old room and into the next. She didn't want to be found, she didn't want Ray's looks messing with her and making her forget all that cassie had said.

She cried so much that night as she kept feeling she wasn't enough and that Ray Could never find her enough. That night she had made up her mind to not be involved with Ray romantically. There was really no good in it, she just kept on hurting her self.

It's was soon lunch break, she and Lang had decided to eat in the Blazzer cafeteria.

So how is it going so far? Lang asked as she took a spoon full of her rice. 

Good I guess. Amanda responded.

Really? Lang asked.

Yea, that's all I can say for now, because he hasn't shown up and work is great without him.

Oh, I thought he had come and you guys have met this morning. Lang inquired more.

No, not at all. 

I wish he could just work from home. Or I can work from home. Do you think that will be possible? 

Uhh, first of all, you need to face your fears and not run from them. Secondly, a personal assistant cannot work from home.

Amanda made a sad face before speaking. But people always said prevention is better than cure. 

The time you would have prevented this is long behind you, unfortunately you have to face curing what you let develop.

Oww, I just hate how I feel. 

I understand how you are feeling but you need to face this and put it behind you.

I don't think you understand how I feel, you have never been in love with your heartless boss before.

Correct. Lang admitted sarcastically as the two let out a laugh. 

Amanda was having a McDonald's burger with a smoothie, so she just dug into her burger.

They were done with their lunch as they went back to their different work positions. 

Everything seemed the same so she figured he wasn't in yet. 

It was past one and if he was this late, it meant he might not show up at all. That made her a little relieved, maybe she could muster enough strength to face him with by tomorrow.  

She just went straight to work as she seemed to have a lot on her desk.

Lang had done some of her job when she wasn't around, but there were a few that needed to be attended to by her self.

She just went straight to them before her intercom rang.

She picked it up and low and behold, it was Ray's voice that she heard on the other side.

Hello Amanda. 

She just found her self unable to speak.

She became immediately dumb.

Are you there?

H

H...

Hi....

She had managed to say.

I will need my usual coffee please. 

Okay. Sure. Sir.

Amanda was frozen for a few seconds, not that she didn't expect to see or speak with him, but she had already assumed today was out of it. 

She was a little stunned and she was suddenly off balance. She thought she was ready to face him, ready to how him that his charm no longer had her in his grip. 

But sitting there with her sweaty palms, for a second she felt she had absolutely no gut to face him.

You can do this. She murmured to her self.

You can do this! She repeated with a more determined tone.

She made a call to the coffee shop, placed her order and waited for the delivery.

Ray found it unusual that she addressed him with "sir" but he decided to pay it little attention.

He dropped the call as he rested on his chair, slightly swinging it.

Good to be back. He muttered.

He wanted to have a talk with Amanda about everything. He wanted to understand where they really stood. 

He also wanted to know what Cassie had told her that made her disappear on him like that. He planned letting her know of how he wasn't in anything romantic relationship with Cassie or planned to be.

He was done being upset at her or at Albert. Everything that happened there he planned to put behind him.

For the first that in a long time he could agree that he really found a girl that he liked.

Maybe Margi was right, he shouldn't let his uptight attitude stop him from getting something that he liked. And maybe " cherished" was the word.

He had sat there, rested on his chair as he thought about Amanda for over a good twenty minutes.

He sat up on his desk, now putting his attention on his laptop, as he tried to look at a few files.

He heard a faint knock on his door twice as Amanda just made her way into his office.