CHAPTER 24

    The next weeks passed by with little drama.Most of the students emersed themselves in their books trying to save the senior year and get to be accepted in the college of their choice. Carly and Dylan hadn't been left behind.Even though they were now talking and had gotten closer,they hadn't done more than being close friends with innocent touches now and then.Sometime they led to so much intensity that they drowned them but it wasn't as easy as it had once been. Carly was always the one to pull away leaving a disappointed Dylan.She didn't know why she did it because speaking honestly, she wanted it too.She always went back to regret why she pushed Dylan away.

     On this particular day,they were studying in Carly's bedroom. They had started alternating between their two homes and even though Carly's mother disapproved it,Carly went ahead with it.She knew her mother hated Dylan but she still went ahead and invited her over and over again.

    After studying for history for over an hour without major disruptions,Carly's mind shifted from the books to the person behind her.Senior prom was fast approaching and she didn't have a date yet.Dylan of course would be her first choice but looking at how things had been like between them lately,she wasn't sure she would agree. Why she was pushing her away yet it wasn't what she wanted deep down was still something she hadn't figured out yet.She closed her book and turned her studying chair around towards her bed where Dylan had been lying on her stomach, studying too.

        "I have had enough," she said and got up then joined Dylan on the bed.

        "Me too," she agreed and dropped her head face down on top of her books.

  Carly edged in closer and laid beside her on her back. 

          "Hey," she said and touched her hand briefly.

   Dylan turned and faced upwards lying on her back too.

"I have been thinking, we are almost graduating from highschool yet we have never done anything freaky.More than the sneaking around we used to do and stealing our parent's wine."

        "You mean like incite the others to start a fire in the school or give the schools janitor a scare or vandalize the towns signboard?"

    Carly laughed,"No,I mean just the two of us.Do something together."

          "What's your idea?"

          "Watching porn?" Carly replied quite seriously.

Dylan sat up quickly with a shocked expression in her face.She looked at Carly.

        "What?"

          "Haven't you ever been curious what happens in there?Gather some ideas for your next escapades?" she added suggestively.

          "I have been.Every highschool kid has been there," Dylan admitted with a slight blush.Carly looked at her questioningly.The look on Dylan's face said there was more to it.

   Dylan sighed, "I was watching that with the first girl I had sex with.She was older than me and knew what watching would do to me.I didn't know and I went along with the idea," she paused then hesitated before adding, " I don't think we should watch something like that together.It might mess us up and I don't think you want anything like that lately."

    Carly's heart sank and for a moment she stayed silent. She had pushed Dylan away for so long that it had stuck.Reason being, nothing at all.She couldn't say it was trust issues since they had already resolved that and Dylan indeed was to be trusted.Whatever was happening now had nothing to do with that.

 Emily Hill wasn't the issue too because after some time, Carly had finally made up her mind and had gathered up courage to face her.She had come clean that she didn't feel the same way about her and Emily had been disappointed but only for a moment. She had dismissed her and gone back to her archaic ways without a care.Almost as if she had gone back to not caring.It had come as a relief for her because she now felt like she didn't owe her anything. But there was someone she did and that someone was sitting next to her.

   She turned and met the soft blue eyes thatust have been staring at her while she was in deep thoughts.

        "Or do you?" Dylan asked softly.

   That voice always got her.She felt her heart skip a beat and a familiar excitement  took over.She stared deep into the eyes and she didn't feel like disappointing her again.She moved closer to her and paused right before her face.

        "What do you want Carly?" Dylan went on. "Of late I can't even manage to get any emotion out of you. You push me away every time we get close and yet it seems like you don't really want to. At times there are all these signals yet you turn them off the moment I decide to act.It pains me every time.I mean,don't you love me anymore?"

    That last question hit her differently. It was so soft yet showed that Dylan was at least partially convinced that was the case.How could she tell her she didn't know what was going on with her?How could she say that she loved her yet her actions said a different thing? She had maintained only friends kind of relationship between them,at least physically.

         "Of course I love you Dylan. How can I not? You are my first love and always will be."

        "Then why are you pushing me away?"

   Carly's heart broke from the weight of the question and the pain that was displayed in it.She had no answer to give her.

       "I honestly don't know," she replied and looked down.

  Dylan used her fingers to lift her chin up and she forced herself to look at her. "Are you afraid that what you thought had happened,me cheating on you,might actually happen?"

        "You never cheated on me.Why would I have insecurities about that?It was my own stupidity." They stared at each other for a while before she decided to tell her the only thing that would make sense.It was only partially true though, the other percentage was still buried in the dark.  "We are going to college Dylan. Things will not be like they used to especially if we are going to separate colleges."

       "Then we will get into the same college, I'll change my application. I can go to anywhere I want,that's what Melody said," Dylan said without noticing that she had used the first name of the guidance and counseling teacher until she saw the frown in Carly's face.

        "Who is Melody?" she asked.

        "Ms Davis,her first name is Melody," Dylan replied simply. "She has been helping me with choosing the best carrier for me.She likes to be addressed by her first name when she is not in class."

          "Oh," Carly said then,"Look Dylan, if you changed your mind you wouldn't be doing it for yourself, you'd be doing it for me and that's not fair to you."

          "Then we can always call and see each other during weekends." Carly sighed but didn't say a word.Some part of her wanted to say no but she didn't have the heart to hurt her all over  again.

         "Do you really think it can work?"

          "Totally. We just have to trust each other," Dylan replied with a hint of relief in her eyes.

She smiled, "Okay."

           "Yeah?"

           "Yes,which brings me to the question I want to ask," she paused. "Dylan Lewis,will you be my date to prom?"

    Dylan grinned which then turned into a full smile,"Yes,and all the dates you wanna have." She then leaned forward and met her forehead with hers.Carly closed her eyes and stayed right there.This time she didn't pull away,even when she felt some guilt leaning there.Guilt she could not explain the source.And also the fact that she was still not satisfied, she was not contented, there was still that missing piece she had only began feeling after she had solved everything with Dylan.

        "I hope you know how much I love you Carly McAdams," Dylan whispered softly.

  Carly nodded,"I know."

                 *****

     The weeks that followed weren't much different from the previous ones except that Dylan was more excited because Carly had finally come back to her and they were dating again.She had also received a letter ,an invitation to the college she had applied to and she had also settled undertaking a course in Computer Graphics and Design.The idea had come to her when she was almost giving up and she immediately knew that was something she would definitely enjoy doing. She was all set to join college and the only thing she couldn't have there all the time was the girl she loved.What encouraged her that they would be okay was the fact that Carly would be just one town over.

       WestDale high school always held it's senior prom on the last  weekend towards graduation week. On the night of the prom,she walked downstairs where her mother, Carly,her brother Carl and Taylor were waiting. She stopped at the top and smiled. She had made friends ever since she got in that school as a sophomore, some had already graduated but the three waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs had been the greatest. Carly since the first week and the other two later on.She stepped down the stairs confidently.Her mother gasped when she took a look at her,Carly smiled charmingly, Taylor winked at her while Carl grinned. Typical guy.

        "Oh my God,you look so..." her mother's speech failed.Her face grew emotional and Dylan almost regretted wearing the outfit. She had spotted a black tuxedo and a white shirt with a black bow tie. Her shoes were also black but bringing out the complete look of a butch unlike other days she combined both looks.Her hair was tamed nicely in a bun on top of her head,courtesy of the very talented Taylor who had also helped Carly with her make up.One looking at her coming down the stairs would say she was more handsome than beautiful.

   She looked at herself beginning to doubt her looks, "Is it too much?Should I go change?"

    Her mother cried and laughed at the same time, "No,no.It's just that I see him in you right now. All those years ago,he was my prom date except that I was the one coming from upstairs and he was waiting for me right in a position like this."

         "You were highschool sweethearts? You never told me," Dylan said in an accusatory tone.

         "I guess it just never came up," Wendy replied then went on,"People say that you look like me but right now all I see is him.So gallant, so charming and... " her speech failed again.

       "What your mom is trying to say is that you look very handsome," Carly said. Wendy nodded her agreement and they all laughed. 

        "We all think so," Taylor added.

    Dylan went down the rest of the stairs and stopped in front of them.  "Thanks guys!"

         "I would love to have a photo of all my daughter's friends, I hope you don't mind?" Wendy requested.

     They all gathered together and she took several snaps before taking some with Dylan and Carly alone. Some minutes later,she escorted them to the door but held Carly back for a moment. She looked into her eyes for a while before saying in a low voice, "Thank you for loving my daughter. She's always so happy whenever she talks about you and I can tell she really cares about you. I hope things will stay the way they are right now even after you go to college."

   Carly didn't know what to say to that so she just nodded and smiled sweetly before she joined the others in the waiting limousine that Dylan's mother had hired for them.

        Carly was wearing a shiny blue dress and for the first time in all her life she wore heels to compliment the look.She had also worn long diamond earrings that Dylan had gotten for her prior to the day and unlike other days,she had straitened her hair,which flowed down to her hip joint. One would never have guessed it's length because she always tied it up,only letting the shorter front strands loose.

      She walked hand in hand with Dylan to the lit up school gym and further ahead to the dance floor amongst the throng of young couples who she wouldn't see again after the last week of highschool. She didn't care about that though.They weren't really friends except Taylor but she knew she would get to see more of her even after graduation because of her relationship with her brother. What scared her most was the person she was now slow dancing with.Even though she had agreed to continue seeing each other, she wasn't so positive it would work.Then there was what Dylan's mother had told her just before they left her house.Was she really capable of giving Dylan the happiness she deserved?Was she really good enough for her,especially now that she was so conflicted? She wrapped her arms around Dylan's neck and leaned her head against her shoulder. Even though the heels made her a little taller,Dylan was still an inch taller,results of her adolescence.

    She felt Dylan place her hands on her back and rub her softly,going up to her bare shoulder blades. "Are you okay?"

     She nodded and whispered back a yes into her ear.Dylan held her tighter as the song flowed along carrying them deeper into it's soul.She closed her eyes and wished she could hold on to her forever and never let go,if only it would stop the weird feeling she couldn't explain and push it away forever. She wanted to keep holding on and yet she couldn't.

      When she opened her eyes and looked up, she found a guy staring at her.He looked like a student and she almost mistook her as one of her classmates but she couldn't remember ever seeing such a face there.He had blonde hair,trimmed but not too short. A little taller than Dylan but also quite good looking. Why was she even studying him? As if the guy had noticed,he gave her the most charming smile and then walked away. That's when she noticed the chaperone badge on the side of his arm and knew he was just working. He was probably related to one of the staff members because he looked so young to be a teacher.

      What confused her though was the fact that his smile had sent a kind of sensation through her body.The kind of sensation that only occurred when just one other person smiled at her.And she was clinging to her when all that happened. Talk about things going from bad to worst.This wasn't something she had thought of,not even once.It was on that day that she really started questioning her real identity.

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