CHAPTER 50

CHAPTER 50

   Dylan stood up and started pacing in front of the house on the porch. Carly didn't really understand why what she had just said had affected her that much. Why was is so hard to believe that Emily could be a victim? Or was it that really?

           "Dylan,I saw the surprise in her eyes. There's no way she could have anything to do with this. She is just too fragile right now." She stopped herself before she could spill everything that she had talked about with Emily. That would not be cool even if she would be saying it to someone she trusted. "And I know you think that I still want to believe that she is good in some ways but that isn't what's going on. Emily is not our guy, she can't be. She might have been a bitch but she is a coward."

              "Exactly, the kind of person who would send such messages instead of facing us or even doing another action."

   Carly didn't know what else to say to her. Was Dylan really convinced it was Emily or was she just recalling her mean  character back in highschool? She however knew that she probably shouldn't defend her that much. After all,pretense was Emily's specialty and really, she hadn't been around her enough during her adult years to know if she had really changed. She suggested what she thought would satisfy all of them.

             "Maybe we need to talk with her too,get her with us and see if we can gather something from her."

  Dylan walked slowly back to her. She sat down on the swing once again and took her hand. 

             "Honestly at this point I don't know what to think. You are right, she probably couldn't have. I think she is really trying. I should give her more credit than that. Get her to come over to my place tomorrow and we will talk,see if we can find something in common and maybe if we can figure out all this."

               "Okay,"Carly replied but then remembered she didn't even know where Dylan lived. "You will have to direct us there. I have no idea where you stay now."

               "It's not very far from Carl's,I will direct you." She then added,"You are okay now,right? I mean,with what happened with Gavin and all."

She smiled,"Yes I am. I talked with a therapist for some months and I am happy,at peace with what happened and with myself."

                  "Good. I'm really glad you got out of that,I mean it."

  Carly nodded and rubbed the hand that was still on hers softly,"I know." It was after a while that she added hesitantly,"We can still be friends,right?"

Dylan nodded,"Yeah, totally."

                 "Okay, great."

   She sat out there minutes after Dylan had left saying that she was going to meet another friend for drinks. She didn't want to overthink it but she found herself wondering what kind of friend it was and also wishing that she could get the chance to share  the same with her. She tried but the picture of the 'friend' that came to her mind was a female friend. Was she jealous? She knew she should be glad that Dylan was agreeing to take her back as even a friend,that was already much than she had expected but couldn't help but wish she would have her again,as more than a friend. She knew that if she did, she would never let go again.

    Carl joined her some minutes later but it was after some minutes that they spoke to each other, almost at the same time.

              "You know you can..."

                "Don't even mention it."

    They looked at each other and laughed.

                 "You are feeling left out,I can tell that sis." She didn't reply. "You can just tell her how you feel."

                   "Yeah,and then what? We will be together happily ever after?"

                  "Maybe not but at least you will both be happy."

                    "I think we both know that I eventually ruin such chances."

                   "That was long ago,you were just a teenager without any knowledge about what every relationship needs for it to work out. You both still love each other,it shouldn't be so hard." 

Actually in love would have been the better words but she kept them to herself. She knew if her friend Carol knew what was happening with her, she would kill her for not even trying. Dylan was single,at least there were no long term attachments in her life as much as she knew. The thing was, she was afraid. What if Dylan didn't want her like that? Worse still,what if she accepted her and she ends up ruining things for them again. She was telling herself that she wouldn't ever again but she wasn't so sure of what the future held. There was now her son to consider. What if they didn't get along? What if Teddy wouldn't accept her? 

                  "What's holding you back,Teddy? We can all see how he adores her."

 She turned to him,"Get out of my head."

                   "I'm afraid that's impossible. We are twins remember?"

    She rolled her eyes,"Now you bragging that you are smart."

                   "Always was actually. I was just trying to be humble all those years ago. I was never dumb."

                     "Yeah right," she laughed. "You never knew I was dating Dylan until that day during her birthday. What's that if not dumb?"

                    "Minding my own business."

   She chuckled,"So you say."

    Another five minutes passed  in silence. She was facing up to the empty sky but her thoughts were far away. Carl  snapped her back to the present.

                   "What are you thinking about?"

                    "Everything, about how I want all this mess to be over. How I want to know if I really stand a chance with Dylan. How Teddy is gonna fair on after the surgery and even during the surgery. That specially scares me shitless."

Carl took her hand,"Hey,he is going to be okay."

                    "So everyone keeps saying but in real sense we really have no idea."

                     "True,but we keep believing."

She scoffed and shook her head but didn't say another word.

                  "Remember grandpa?"

She now turned back to him wondering why he was bringing it up now.

                 "How can I forget? Especially after how you treated me after he died."

                  "I was just looking for someone to be angry with. His death was just too much to handle and I didn't know what to do."

                  "Yeah, yeah. Because I was with him when he died. Because I froze the moment I saw his eyes widen and struggling to breath, because I couldn't get the phone and call nine one one. I understand Carl, maybe if I had done something he wouldn't have died."

                 "But he would be dead now and it wouldn't be different. You were only thirteen, you were just a kid like me. I would have probably been in the same situation. The bathroom had saved me that day,at least from the horror and post traumatic stress of seeing someone die right before my eyes."

   The experience at the beach diner from all those years ago flashed before her eyes and she shivered suddenly feeling like it was happening all over again. She blinked severally then blocked the image to the back of her mind.

                "Why are you telling me all this?"

                   "Because I think I was the one who caused all this you blaming yourself things. I think it all began there. I made you believe that grandpa's death had been your fault but it hadn't. It turned out that he had long stopped taking his medication which had in turn caused the sudden attack that had led to his death. It was never your fault. Grandpa couldn't have been saved even if you had picked that phone and called."

                  "What does that have to do with what's happening now?"

                   "Maybe nothing but you need to stop this. You did what you had to do. You look at it this way, you wouldn't have Teddy if you hadn't gotten married to Gavin. You also wouldn't have discovered what you really wanted. Being stuck in one place is not always great and even the most loving couple sometimes needs a break. That's why I think you should let Dylan know how you really feel and let everything work out on it's own."

                   "It's not that easy."

                   "I know,it never is. We all work towards making it better. I have never had a relationship that was even half of what you and Dylan had. And that was only when you were teenagers. Everyone wanted something like that,or why else would people be still jealous that you might get back together now?"

                   "There is that too. It's scary but do you really think that it's about jealousy? I think it's more of hatred than jealousness. Emily received a note some days back saying,‘payback is a bitch’ the same day Dylan received hers,with the same handwriting."

                   "Poor Emily," Carl replied. She had expected him to act surprised or even scared. Before she could ask why he wasn't surprised,he went on. "She suffers in silence under the tyranny rule of her husband. I would say she deserves it but honestly she doesn't, she really tried to change after highschool. And Justin is a jerk,he has bought brand new cars where I work for three different women and I don't think Emily knows that."

                   "I think she does, from what she told me. She doesn't think he is a saint."

                   "She should divorce him."

                   "Yeah she should,but it doesn't come that easy even when you have absolutely no love for the person, especially when you have kids to consider."

                  "You are right."

  Just then, a sound like a twig or limb breaking sounded a few metres away from where they were sitting. Both of them heard it and they looked up at the same time in alarm. Unfortunately,there wasn't enough light to see for more than a few inches. They looked at each other.

                 "What was that?"

                 "We should get inside."

She didn't even wait to be told for the second time. She nodded and got up quickly, leading the way back to the house.

                         ★★★

       Dylan walked into the bar she had been with Carly a few days ago. She was not sure if Kenny would still be waiting for her. Her phone had died so she had no means of contacting him and instead of going to the apartment to charge it first, she had decided to head straight there and by any luck catch him before he left thinking that she had stood him up. It was still early though,some minutes before nine,a little too early for someone to head home. She was right, Kenny was still waiting for her at the bar but alone. She walked up to him but he had his back towards her so he didn't see her approaching.

              "What sort of guy sits alone with his drink in a bar full of ladies?" she asked as a way of announcing her arrival.

He turned and smiled,"Oh,the sort that is really loyal and wouldn't even flirt with anyone while waiting for the one who has stolen his heart."

She knew he was kidding because of the mischievous grin he had on his face so she smiled.

                "Well, it's always good to have a back up plan in case your first goes to shit." She then turned to the bartender who was waiting for her to order,"I will have just a beer."

                 "What took you so long? Another ten minutes and I would have given up waiting." She laughed. "Oh, don't tell me you had some lady to take care of back in your apartment."

                  "Come on, I'm better than that. I let them spend the night at least and wouldn't leave them alone in my apartment." She took a long swallow of her beer,"I just had a dinner date I wouldn't have turned down."

     Kenny pretended to look around,"Where is the girl? You sent her home?"

She chuckled,"It doesn't necessarily has to be a girl. I was having dinner with my ex's family." She looked up at him and noticed his face was about to explode with laughter,"Don't you dare laugh or say anything stupid. I might smash that grin off your face in a hard painful way."

                    "I don't doubt that for a minute. I just have one question,was the ex there?"

   She was silent for several seconds trying to figure out the point of asking that before nodding,"Yes, she was. We chose to remain friends."

                  "Doesn't it happen always?" Kenny gave her the look that seemed to say that he didn't believe that for a second and she couldn't blame him. She of all people knew that the 'friendship' thing or guise was just that,pretense. He then asked the same thing that was going on in her head. "Dylan, people remain friends even after breakups but when it comes to having dinner with their parents after that, that definitely sounds really different. Almost as if you are still all one happy family."

  She knew he was probably expecting her to explain more but she didn't want to. She said,"Except that this one really is just friendship." Before he could say something else, she shifted the conversation,"Anyway, what's going on with you?"

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