Ended The Way She Said It

Lanre has been on her project for the past two hours since she returned from church. Just then, Ify walked in. “Ahn! Lanre, you are inside and you didn’t lock the door. What if a thief had come into the house?” Ify asked.

“Welcome!” That was the only thing Lanre said to her. Ify was shocked. She looked around the room to see if there was somebody else in the room that had welcomed her. “It can’t be Lanre who told her welcome as if she did not hear what she just told her!” Ify was surprised.

“Lanre you didn’t answer my question”. Ify said. “Sorry ma! Emabinu!” Lanre said telling her sorry also in her native Yoruba language. “About my not locking the door, it was so that when you return, I do not get to leave my work and come open it for you. And whether a thief had stepped in or not, that shouldn’t be something you should think about. If it were to happen, then they would have first of all entered the flat that is closer to the gate. Then they would have entered Fred’s. By then I must have locked the door and stayed in my room. But if the thieves are to be armed, they would have eventually broke in, steal the plasma your boyfriend got you on your birthday. Then they would have come in and take the refrigerator. See I will be their tour guard, they would put me on gun point and take me to the room. Then they will take our wigs and of course, yours are more expensive. Then they will look for any important thing they can lay their hands on and steal it as well”. Lanre said.

Ify just looked at her. “Are you done talking?” She asked, sarcasm dripping all over it. Lanre shook her head indicating that she was not done. “And lastly, if they are generous enough, they will end up paying me for taking them round the house with a rape. And when you return, you will tell me sorry, cry over your stolen property, then on Sunday you will go give a testimony in your church. And then you will round up whatever you must have said in your testimony with this, ‘I just want to thank God that I was not at home when it happened. Assuming I was at home, only God knows what would have happened'. But sorry sweet cheeks, everyone knows what would have happened. They would have raped you as well”. Lanre said. Then she stood up and bowed. “Now, let me go back to writing my project”. She said and took her seat as she tried to figure out the last thing she was doing before Ify came in and distracted her. She could no longer focus. She puts her hand on her head, stood up and went to the living room.

Ify watched as Lanre walked away still in shock at Lanre’s analysis. Somehow she knew Lanre was right. If a thing like that had happened, it would have probably ended the way she said it.