I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC

      Once Faith got into her room, she took three huge gulps from the bottle of Maalox liquid, then took out the aspirin bottle, she noticed her hands were shaking and it frightened her. This has never happened to her before. She quickly went and sat down in bed, assuring herself that she was alright, she was just being nervous. Yes, she was nervous hearing everything the doctor said could make anyone nervous. 

         "I am not a drunk," she mumbled over and over again, assuring herself that. And she had already promised herself that she was not going to drink alcohol anymore. Never. 

        After so much assurance, she ran a tub of hot water, hoping it would help soothe her aching body. She almost went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine but used all her willpower to resist. Alcohol was almost irresistible—aquavit was her favourite, that blush yellow fluid in a clear bottle, all chilly would feel so good in a hot tub. She managed to get the beauty of alcohol out of her head and went into the tub, began to relax, and feel a little better. 

      Then, that panic set in again. Her hands have never shaken before. She had been in control of her drinking and never gets drunk only occasionally, maybe when she went out with friends— Nora and Danny— and they had gotten into those crazy games and she would get drunk, but lately, she realized that she was always drunk at the end of most evenings, then wake up the next morning with a terrible hangover from hell, then promise herself that she would never got drunk again, but the next time, she was worst and now, her hands were shaking. 

        She raised them and stared at them, using them to block the light in the bath. She was relieved when they didn't shake— she was not an alcoholic, she was not going to be an alcoholic because of Noah, she was not the first girl that had been ditched by a fiancé and she was not going to be the last. Some women have even gone through worse, they have been ditched right on their wedding day. So, she was going to carry on with life, better things are going to come—but not better men, she was so done with men, they keep getting worse. 

       At the end of a relationship, you would realize that the previous one was better than the last one and it goes on and on like that. Love was no longer for her or maybe, when Noah comes back, she would just accept him and move on, after all, he had been the best man that had been in her life after her elder brother Joshua. 

       After the bath, she fell on her bed and took her phone to check out the blog post she had made yesterday about dealing with unbearable roommates. She had gotten a hundred plus comments, three-quarters of the comments were in affirmation only 2% disagreed with her. What does she care what they think? They can trek to hell and burn to ashes as long as she was concerned. She was good at what she does and had the majority behind her. She had surfed the net until sleep shoved her away.