Over coming one's fears

The thick medicinal smell that usually made him nauseous today did not seem that bad, being covered up by the sound of Television and his own tears.

On the television screen was a beautiful woman dancing to the rhythm of the music on ice. Her figure was perfect, her technique was perfect and her outfit that made her look like an ice queen was also perfect.

And what brought it all together was the music that also seemed just right, when looking at her one can come up with a fairytale taking place in a snowy mountain, with a prince, a princess and an evil queen.

As she finished her performance the voice of the host came, first the name of the song and the artist was announced, then the name of the skater and the country and at last the points obtained.

Not once was the name "Shen Mingze" spoken, the name that was now forgotten by many, the name which used to represent true talent among the musical circle.

Hong Li was the artist that was credited to this song and Hong Xiao who had been sitting on the bedside crying could only stare at the young man laying on the bed. He could do nothing but sink in guilt and sorrow as he saw the light of this little star slowly dim in front of his eyes.

"Ah-Ze forgive Li-Er, You can blame me, I was the one who wronged"

The young man looked at him, his eyes that once shined like the stars twinkling in the night sky were now hollow, As if using the last of his energy, Shen Mingze opened his mouth.

"It was indeed you, but it no longer matters"

The young man's eyes did not close and Hong Xiao waited and waited but the young man did not say anything, looking at the monitor it seems that Hong Xiao was too shocked and didn't notice when the monitor representing Shen Mingze's heart rate fell flat.

Shen Mingze's corpse stared at him for a long while, he wasn't able to move an inch under the look of those empty eyes.

He knew that Shen Mingze's last words were deliberately chosen to haunt him for the rest of his life, but that's okay, this is what he deserves. Today Hong Xiao lost two sons, both times he was the one responsible.

Shen Mingze doesn't know how long it has passed since he's been like this, suspended in the air even though he has no support. He was surrounded in a sea of darkness when he stared ahead the abyss seemed to stare back at him.

Shen Mingze hated this feeling of not knowing what was waiting for him in the dark, if anything, he hated being helpless as he waited for whatever or whoever to just pop out of the darkness and just devour him.

He couldn't stand looking at the dark abyss so he closed his eyes, unsurprisingly enough he was still surrounded by darkness but this was still better. He was the one who closed his eyes, he chose this darkness, so this was okay.

He calms himself, no, he does everything he can to try and calm himself.

He had already died, what's the point of being scared?

Hasn't he suffered much worse in the hands of Hong Li? What was this in comparison?

So what if he can't see anything? It's not like something is actually waiting for him in the dark and if it was wouldn't he actually prefer not to see it?

If he's dead then this is probably his personal hell, there isn't actually anything waiting for him in the dark, this is just a setup to torture him.

He tried to justify his fear in every way possible but as time passed his fear began to creep up on him again and again and he had to somehow coax himself into maintaining his sanity again and again.

He focused his mind on the strongest emotions that he can muster, that were not fear. The feeling of betrayal when Hong Li tricked him and Hong Xiao ignored all his suffering, the grief of seeing his master die in front of him, how he loved his master more than he loved his own father and the time they spent together.

He would cry when it became too heavy of a burden to suppress the utter terror he felt, he would bite himself whenever he felt like he was losing it, he would just go to sleep when it was just too hard to cope using the two mechanisms.

He just keeps floating in the dark sea afraid of a monster suddenly engulfing him. He didn't feel hunger or thirst, he didn't sweat nor did his hair grow.

He didn't know how much time passed but at some point he stopped crying. What was the point? He realized that being afraid may be the natural way to respond to this situation but what was the use of being afraid?

Let's assume that there was actually a monster waiting to devour him and the monster does devour him, what then?

He was already dead, it's not like he can get any deader. Even if that does happen he would either come back to this place or live in the monster's stomach. Thinking about it, the latter wouldn't make much of a difference either.

Then his heart suddenly became calm, the time spent in the place does not get any easier and the feeling of dread still overcomes him from time to time but soon enough, the tinge of fear he'd left was also forgotten and boredom is all that is left.

He may no longer be afraid but at some point he had developed a hobby to just go to sleep when he's too bored.

At this point Shen Mingze is somehow able to manipulate his dreams to what he wants to see, he can only guess that the power of his brain has received a boost or something like that.

This upgrade would've been much appreciated when he was still a student, he could've really used some extra intelligence going through high school, but he probably wouldn't be willing to get trapped in a place like this to gain said intelligence.

That being said, he wonders how much time has passes since he got here

It sure feels like a million years have passes but maybe it's only been an year and his mental resolve was too quick to crumble, but it didn't really crumble did it? one could say that Shen Mingze has just adapted to his new home.

looking at the abyss in front of him, Shen Mingze promises himself, if he ever gets out of here the first thing that he will do is smash Hong Li's head with a giant hammer.

if it weren't for that bastard, Shen Mingze would be living the life of a king right now but then again, it's not like that bastard Hong Li was the cause of his cancer.

* He migth as well have been with how he made my life hell! *

Maybe Shen Mingze did prefer this place more, at least there was no Hong Li here to bother him.

While Shen Mingze continued to contemplate on the meaning of life, who knows how much more time passed. Before he knew he stopped using his dream to take refuge, the feelings of resentment he has been clinging onto throughout all this have disappeared as well and the anger towards the world has also disappeared.

At this point he had forgiven everything and everyone, clinging to his hate for that bastard Hong Li was a waste of time anyway, all that was left was gratefulness for his life and the feelings of affection that he once shared with people that were important to him.

After so long he felt finally, truly at peace.

Shen Mingze closed his eyes to rest once again.

[ The first stage has been cleared, starting the second stage ]

As he did, he heard a strange sound and opened his eyes once again only to see that the space he was suspended in was no longer pitch black.

As he looked in front of him he could see a different space , could see the shining stars plastered on the space, the space was a mixture of black, purple, green and blue. He doesn't know how to describe it but this was the most beautiful sight he has ever seen.

He just looks and looks and before he knows he tears up, he never thought he would see a sky like this out of dreams. He could never properly word how he was feeling at the moment.

He looked around to see that he wasn't the only one here, the monsters that he was so afraid of were just traveling next to him. A herd of humongous beasts floated through the sky and Shen Mingze was just laying there surrounded by them.

Contrary to even his own expectations, he was not terrified at all, he just continued to stare at the sky, he felt like the stars were moving as they twinkled, they were really very beautiful.

Like this Shen Mingze didn't mind being eaten while looking at this scene, he waited and waited but the herd just went past him not even giving him a glance. It seems like they didn't even consider him to be big enough to be their snack.

As he saw them slipping away he couldn't help but laugh.

He didn't know why he was laughing, was it because he was happy that he was still alive? If so, was he even alive? Was he laughing because his situation was just so laughable? Was he just showing his pent up emotions?

Shen Mingze couldn't make a proper guess but it was probably a mixture of all of them, the true question was, was he really alive?

[ the second stage has been cleared [Shen Mingze] has now officially been registered as a player ]