xvii

Anticipation seemed to crawl in the thinnest of shivers through each and every nerve in my body the closer we became to the royal entrance. Upon gaining awareness of the fact that I would be walking in the ballroom all by myself, my nerves seemed to reach even higher heights that surpassed any peaks I was conscious of. The carriage that originally served as a lavish pleasure to enjoy for the first time seemed to now pull forward and work against my better wishes of a normal night.

As the carriage ventured onward I was able to notice several hitching posts that had been deliberately placed on the side of the castle and adjacent to bushes and lush greenery that encircled them. The same shimmery light adorning the castle towers and walls was placed every so often as a hub of a somewhat mystical illumination to bring life to the garden like passageways that traveled along the castle. The aura of magic and possibility seemed to exude from the area in a glow that reflected the night sky and the moon. The ambience of wildlife and nature was yet but quiet whispers of another worldly occurrence.

Various breeds of horses could be seen chewing or pawing at the plethora of plush earth around them, and some walking around as far as their rope would allow the space or choosing to lay. Many of them had what looked to be like armor wrapped beneath their eye, around their neck, and behind as well as underneath the saddle. The saddles each also proved to be unique and rather medieval in fashion. The hitching posts they were tied to included rope wrapped around each of them and had what looked like clips or rings attached. Not only was the material of whatever it was gold and shimmery, but the base of the hitching post was decorated in what looked to be signatures or some type of signage all over each one we passed in the same color.

I leaned forward as much as I could in order to try and potentially see the regal entrance before we would approach it in the carriage. Instead of seeing any sort of walls or towers with doors leading inside of the castle, the path that we were currently on continued to stretch ahead past what my eyes were be able see. For now the hitching posts and the horses alongside them were the only thing of any excitement to see. My hopes seemed to deteriorate upon the realization we were nowhere as close as I had originally thought we were. I sat back against the seat now drained of anymore interest and took to gazing absentmindedly at the space around me; sometimes glancing toward the window to seek anything new or different.

Though initially disappointed that I wasn't able to just get this entire thing over with and rapidly breeze throughout the night, I was somewhat glad I had more time to collect myself and my thoughts.

It was in that moment of thinking that I heard an extra set of hooves moving faster than the sound of the ones that belonged to those that were currently carrying the carriage forth. For some reason I was able to easily distinct the two sounds from another and this is what made me reluctantly sit back up to take a brief look of what it could be.

In that same instance a man, who had been dressed down to the nines, was riding his horse and proceeded to pass us as if he intended to arrive before us or was even more late than we had already been. My eyes watched as he disappeared in the darkness of the night ahead of us before I allowed them to close. I released a heavy sigh but I'm almost certain it would've sounded breathless to Ruth if she heard.

It wasn't until I felt the carriage begin to turn that I made the decision to open my eyes once more.

As soon as I opened them I seen the man again.

Now off the saddle of his furry companion, he stood just as tall and strong as the animal whilst taking the time to connect it to the post. I found myself watching him with genuine curiosity at his actions, but still failed to come to an understanding as to why this could be seen as so appealing to those that were able to witness. Aside from the fact that a werewolf and a horse could coexist and work together in harmony, nothing about this interaction struck me with amazement.

"It's not the literal act of tying the horse that commoners find intriguing, it's actually the amount of time, effort, and care they put into doing so. Most if not all the men of status have many years of experience with horses given their rank, yet a good amount of them don't spend much time with their horse or show any affection to them. Some of the men really only bring them around for the mating ball, showcases, or to publicly display another one of the prized possessions that they own. What many women of the kingdom usually find interest in is paying attention to is how they interact with them, how intensely they tie the horse, and how quickly they are to leave the horse after they finish. It's an easy way to seek how much vulnerability and compassion a potential partner may have by observing the way they behave."

After my inquiry on why I would be left to enter the premises alone, Ruth and I seemed to be engulfed in a comfortable silence for more than a few moments before Ruth would be the one to choose to break it to share more of the lore surrounding the kingdom and the mating ball.

I didn't realize I had spoken my thoughts out loud for her to hear, but what she said made me oddly grateful that I did. Instead of using my own perspective to view him, now I was able to adopt the thought process of any other person within the kingdom as I watched the man.

With a new set of eyes and a fresh perspective, I could visibly notice the amount of time the man was taking when it came to tying the horse.

More than a few minutes had already gone by since we had originally come to a pause just several feet away from him.

Even so, he was still tying his horse.

The way he pulled at the rope appeared to be gentle yet firm. There was obvious confidence in his work as he finally came around to finishing the knot and nodded at himself assuredly once he did. As soon as he was done with hitching his horse, I watched as he made sure to thoroughly run his fingers through the mane of the horse a few times before he walked off.

"I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to be thinking."

Ruth shrugged before responding, "Wanna know what I think?"

I nodded.

"He appears stoic. He took the time to tie his horse and make sure it wasn't too tight or uncomfortable, but still made sure it was firm enough to keep a hold. It's a subtle nonchalance that tells us he cares about his horse but doesn't like to display emotion. I don't think he cares much for the tradition, but instead probably has a lot of personal love for his horse. He showed little affection maybe due to never receiving much himself or not liking how he may be perceived because of it. He's probably a good man, just doesn't know how to properly show, give, or receive love."

If she would've asked me my answer wouldn't have been anything close to that.

"I thought you said showing a little affection was a bad thing? And being quick to leave?"

"I didn't say either is a bad thing, especially when you consider the idea that there are many people out there who don't even care about this kind of thing. It's in the eye of the beholder. Your own perception of their behavior and what it may mean to you or remind you of will help you come to a conclusion on their character. As women we experience a strong intuition, and for us wolves that can increase remarkably depending on rank and breed."

This made me wonder how accurate her reading was.

"That's oddly beautiful."

"It is isn't it? There's many things I think that you'd like about our way of life," she said with a small smile that made her eyes sparkle.

"I find it interesting how much you know and don't discuss. You seem very wise for someone that's young."

"Young?"

She chuckled halfheartedly before and after she posed the rhetorical question, but immediately continued speaking after she finished with her fit of giggles.

"If only you knew how much you could learn. I'm sure you'll be just as wise in due time."

I sure hope so.

"Another thing," Ruth said as she paused for a moment to take a few deep breaths, "I know that you're nervous to enter the ball by yourself but I need you to pretend like you're not."

"And how in the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"First things first walk with your chin held high. Don't go in there sulking with your head down, or hunching your back like you do when you're upset."

"Not true," I said shaking my head at her.

"Didn't you bust your ass when you were running away from us earlier?"

A moment of silence.

"Thanks for the reminder."

"If you would've kept your head up you could've seen where you were going."

"Whatever."

"Just saying! Also, if you level your shoulders and push them back a bit it'll enhance your posture and make the corset a lot more comfortable to wear while you walk."

"Would've been better advice if it was given sooner than later. I don't know how they managed to wear this all the time back in the day."

She chuckled again.

"Me neither, truthfully. Unfortunately for the both of us later came way too soon for me to remember every single little thing at once. . . Oh and another thing."

"What now?"

"You walk like a duck with a stick up its ass. Walk one foot in front of the other with leisure. Sway those hips too! Also don't rush to go anywhere or run for any reason! Take your time with walking down the steps too since you're clumsy."

"Damn is there anything else you wanna change?"

"Could you smile?"

"No."

There's no way she expected me to smile when my heart is already halfway done digesting inside of my intestines with the breakfast we shared this morning.

"Don't act like you're missed live laugh love."

"At least I know how to present myself in social spaces. Very mindful if you ask me," she said with a smirk as she raised an eyebrow at my distaste.

"So . . . what does that have to do with me?"

"At least pretend like you give a fuck," she said as she crossed her arms as to mimic my attitude.

"That's pretty hard."

"I'll give you some reinforcements."

"And how are you gonna do that if you said you're not coming with me?"

"In all honesty I didn't mean to say that I'll do it, I just simply meant that they will be here for you."

"They?" I asked as my eyebrows pinched together.

"You'll see soon enough. For now, do you remember what I told you to try and fix?"

"Everything about me," I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

"Perfect!" she said cheerfully as she balled up her left fist and raised it in triumph.

I couldn't help but laugh wholeheartedly at the sight of her genuine joy at my acknowledgement of her words. She briefly joined in on the laughter before she began to smile at me with a glint of what looked like pride in her eyes. I found it hard not to smile back at her with fond thoughts of my own and opted to cheese like provolone.

Two idiots grinning at each other like bad ass kids.

"You must be ready to have fun then. Off you go."

Ruth snapped twice and the door opened quickly.

"We're already here?"

"Indeed we are."

"I'm not sure if I'm ready yet."

She turned her head in my direction as to meet my eyes before giving me a once over with a squint. I watched as she tilted her head side to side and then shrugged her shoulders with a playful scoff.

"You look ready to me."

I stared dead at her with my brow pinched.

"Actually if you insist maybe a little more glossage."

Ruth then showed me a tube of lipgloss which seemingly appeared out of nowhere. After twisting the cap to crack it open, she quickly tapped her lips as to hush any potential words I could've spoken whilst using her other hand to dab gloss on my lips in a careful manner. When she decided it was spread evenly without messing up what was already there she put it away.

I hadn't realized the coachman that opened the door upon cue was still standing there awaiting us to exit the carriage until I heard his voice coming from the door.

"Excuse me madam, I'd like to inform you of our arrival at the kingdom's castle. Whenever you are ready to exit the cabin I will be happy to assist you."

"Excellent timing gentleman," she politely remarked rather smugly as she casted a look toward the door prior to turning around once more to face me.

"I'll help you adjust your dress once we're outside."

"Thank you," I found myself saying as I released a sigh of relief at the prospect of a little more time to collect myself before walking inside a supernatural sanctuary.

Instead, the coachmen took Ruth's compliment as a sign to walk inside the carriage and offer his gloved hand as a means of helping me stand up.

My eyes widened but I played it off as a smile that I hope didn't appear to be eerie considering the thoughts that ran through my mind in that very moment. This interaction genuinely made me curious as to how they already knew it would only be me exiting the carriage at the royal entrance. Now I couldn't help but wonder when Ruth had actually come up with the plan of going separate ways with me, considering if it was actually last minute the coachman would've directed his statement at the both of us. Then she would've clarified she had other matters to attend to.

Or am I overthinking it?

Or is everything truly far from what it seemed? At every turn of the night I find myself questioning who to trust and what to trust even with the truth presented to me firsthand. There's always more to know, find out, or stumble across and wish the best as it happens.

As the first coachman helped me with walking down the steps, a second one took my other hand from the other side of the door. Two guards from somewhere around the carriage had taken a long carpet and rolled it all the way to the entrance with subtle efficiency. The carpet was black detailed with gold. As soon as my feet reached the second to last step the two of them had already returned back to the vehicle and were finished setting the carpet down and in front of each respective area. When they were at a close enough distance to reach my dress they made sure it hadn't touched the ground. Each coachmen assisting me with exiting the horse-drawn vehicle had also took precautions in making sure my dress didn't have the chance to be soiled by the earth and ensured that I didn't stumble whilst making contact with the carpet.

I wasn't aware of when Ruth had the opportunity to walk down the doorsteps as I was too focused on the men that were standing around me, but I did see that she now stood adjacent to me and was already touching up my dress from behind me.

This made me relax only a notch.

As she maneuvered her way to the front she adjusted the material around my waist before gently recentering my bust into proper position within the material.

I didn't make eye contact with her or any of the men either for any matter around me for any reason as it was a bit awkward.

"I'm so excited for you! You look incredible."

"I wish I felt the same way."

"Promise me you'll at least try and have fun."

"I'll try my best."

"Great. Please ensure that she is safely escorted to the double doors at her own leisure. Don't let her dress touch the ground even for a second."

When she said that I noticed she was no longer adding any final adjustments to the dress and had come to stand in front of me as to inspect me once more.

"Thank you," I said as to acknowledge her empathy. I met her eyes briefly before I looked past her.

That's when I took another look at the entrance and noticed around seven people standing in line. Just as I glanced over I had seen two guards repositioning themselves after seemingly closing the door behind whoever just wandered inside. They stood awaiting some sort of signal or confirmation before they would plan on opening it again.

The man who had passed us with his horse was the second to last in line, surprisingly.

"It's the least I could do for you. I'll be as quick as possible," Ruth responded with a sigh as began to return to the carriage.

As I spun around to watch her leave the guards changed their positions as to refrain from allowing my dress to fall to the ground. I felt and watched as they shifted before looking back toward the woman who I've come to know as the day progressed. She had already made it inside of the carriage before she had turned around and came to stand at the frame of the door as if forgetting something.

"Although you won't need it any further, I'll keep the letter safe for you!" She said as she gently waved the invitation in the air a few times with two of her fingers.

I nodded at her with a smile, "I'm very appreciative of you. Good luck and be safe!"

"And good luck to you as well. Have fun dear!"

She gave me one final wave, which I returned, before making her way towards a seat in the carriage. The coachmen closed the door behind her before each took to standing completely still on either side of it.

They stared right at me.

I watched as the two of them preformed a low bow before continuing towards the front of the horse-drawn vehicle and preparing themselves to take off. One of them pet the horses and quickly evaluated them whilst the other prepared the reigns. After finishing up, each of them took their respective seat and briefly spoke before the wheels began to turn. I couldn't help but observe as the carriage rolled away from where I stood much more quickly than I expected it to.

The air seemed to stiffen as I inhaled and exhaled the fresh night air for a few moments in a silence induced by the gathering of my nerves. I listened to the sounds of the wheels on the carriage touching the passage as I looked around the courtyard. I stood there and briefly took note of my surroundings for before I slowly began to turn around as to accommodate those that were assisting me with carrying my dress.

From beside me one of the guards began to speak,

"Are you ready, madam?"

"As I'll ever be," I found the strength to reply.

Each step I took I could feel my heart racing faster and faster within the confinements of my chest.

I tried to avoid looking at the line ahead of me but still ended up staring straight ahead.

I watched anxiously as the both of the doors open and closed twice more in unison to another before I reached the back of the line.

Although I was glad that there were others around to enter just moments before I would, I still knew that I'd be forced to venture into the castle alone.

I was the last person to arrive.