How Young Is Young When It Comes to Love

"You're too young to be loving someone"

This phase keeps on ringing in my ear even now that I'm already an adult. And I think it's true, in my case. And sometimes it just barges in my thought of the idea that,

"What if I did never truly love someone who I thought I had loved very much when I was younger".

And this crazy idea often pops up when I'm in my desk about to fall asleep caused by boredom. And yet, I had been here in this desk for quite a long time now. It's the longest job that I've managed to hold down. My name not written in any plaque or something somewhat contents me. I had been a librarian for almost 2 years now. I don't quite know my specific role on this large building. I just do anything that people requires me to do when they ask help. And most of the time I ask help from my mentor also to do this job correctly

This job seemed romantic and all if you watch it in a hallmark movie, it's not.

But, it is if you want to feel it that way. If you allow me to walk you in the library where I'm working at, you may feel like you're in a hallmark movie indeed. The people in charge of the interior decoration went crazy about the idea of hydrophilic plants, that why green leaves hanging along any corner can be seen.

But I mean hydrophilic so you can easily hear the machines working, the buzzing sound of the machine to keep the water clean. In the entrance, you are welcomed by intricately, decorated, musty, heavy pine wood door. And I appreciate it, it became one of my daily morning workout routine, pushing those expensive doors. After pushing the door, a grand stair case can be seen on the right side of the door, a really grand staircase I must say because it looks like the staircase in Titanic, maybe.

On the left side of the large door is also a stair case but less grandiose but purposeful, directly leads to the second floor balcony. I feel those sometimes like once in a blue moon. I'm not actually alone, libraries are visited by people, who are comfortable being alone, and comfortable being around books. It's a comfort and comfortable space. Besides it's a public space, it's a municipal library.

And oh, I'm not alone. There are several workers here but we only meet up during lunch, important dinner or meeting, our offices were far to each other. We don't hate or we don't like each other, it's just the way we are. We are too comfortable in our own spaces.

And I work outside of the library as well, I act as tourist guide sometimes if the tourist guides are too busy. And I do it all the time.

I don't know how to describe my life, it's not too good and not too bad. I'm living a mediocre life and that's okay, this kind of life is what I've strived for. It seemed like I've lived an adventurous life when I was younger so I'm okay now; besides I don't want another drama in my life. But then I'm also thankful for that exciting past of mine, it connected me to a perfect that is beyond what I could expect for. And he connected me to other people as well. I'm grateful and thankful to this person, my beloved former lover, my forever puppy love, my unforgettable best friend, and my ever so loving friend. And, my ever so innocent first love.

I, Fern Tuknaw, is a loyal rookie librarian active tourist guide of municipal Bega-as, and used to be someone's someone who loved and who was loved.

"Ping!!!" sounded my messenger; a familiar tone of message popped in the phone's screen, and it read.

"Hello, want to meet up for coffee?"

And creepily, a creepy yet warming smile crept into my face.

Haaaaayyyyy…

Truly, familiar first love is innocent and it will always be for me.