Chapter 11: Lies

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he cannot distinguish the truth within him or around him and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." —Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

"Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction." —Criss Jami

"Knowing can be a curse on a person's life. I'd traded in a pack of lies for a pack of truths, and I didn't know which one was heavier. Which one took the most strength to carry around? It was a ridiculous question, though because once you know the truth, you can't ever go back and pick up your suitcase of lies. Heavier or not, the truth is yours now." —Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

***

Against an adult, Xenia is nothing. An adult's strength is far stronger than his. Therefore, the encounter resulting in a brawl would end up in Xenia's loss. However, he has the knife with him. If he uses the knife in order to escape, he would have a chance of winning against the adult.

"But I don't want this to turn into a bloodbath. My family will be in danger."

Instead of resorting to violence for a quick escape, Xenia came up with an excuse and an utterly ridiculous act.

"W-What a relief! I'm saved!"

Xenia crawled out of under the tree, wiping his eyes off the fake tears slowly coming out of his mouth. His face was washed with dread.

"A-Aren't you Mr. Doro?" He sniffed, on the verge of weeping in front of the adult.

"Yes, I am. But may I ask what might you be doing outside at this time of night?"

Doro's face was so comforting. His eyes disappear every time he forms a smile on his face. But from Xenia's point of view, it was totally a masked expression of intimidating response. His tilted pose added to the strange characteristic Xenia could see in him.

"T-The Gordon f-family invited me over for dinner," he stuttered, still sniffing and wiping his eyes off tears. He made himself look as pitiful and scared as possible in front of Doro. "N-Now, I'm on my w-way home after they gave me some food to bring back home. A-And I was walking alone w-when a particularly tall and dark person appeared, creeping behind me with a t-twisted smile."

"Oh, poor kid," Doro said, but his tone sounded sarcastic. His words came out as something that does not believe Xenia. "It must have been hella scary, yeah?"

Hesitantly, Xenia answered, although he could sense the sarcasm in Doro's words.

"I-It was."

"But did you not see the person's face? Where is this person now? What about a small guy running in this direction?" Doro pointed in the direction where Ergas ran towards. "Did you see someone? Anything?"

"S-Sorry, I was so scared that I did not notice any small guy. B-But the person who appeared behind me all of a s-sudden ran this way."

And Xenia pointed at the right side of the location Ergas ran to. His hand was shaking, making it look more genuine. However...

'Why do I have a bad feeling that Doro isn't buying what I am telling him?

Isn't he supposed to believe me since kids tell no lies? Or is it because of our damn reputation again? He can't trust me and my words.'

In his head, Xenia clicked his tongue in annoyance at Doro's sharp perception.

"If I remember correctly, your name is Xenia, right?"

Xenia's bad feeling was slowly building up, and his thoughts about Doro were starting to become true.

'Suddenly asking for my name... He wants to keep an eye on me.'

"Y-Yep, Mr. Doro," he replied fearfully. His voice trembled. "I-Is possible that the person behind me earlier was the k-killer?"

Doro abruptly leaned closer as he slouched to reach Xenia's ear.

The kid might not be able to see his face, but Xenia could definitely imagine Doro's face as he uttered the words "perhaps, but what if I told you that I am the killer? What are you gonna do now? Will you run away? Maybe scream for help since the others are nearby? Or—"

"Oh, Doro, there you are," a lady with a baton swinging from her hand as she went down the steep path interrupted Doro's final words. "Grenoble and the others went to catch the suspected killer. Aren't you—"

Her eyes fell on the crying Xenia, and her face, which was lightened up by the lamp quickly turned sour. Xenia's presence is an annoyance to all Balmackians, except for Xenia's friends and their families.

"Geh! What is that kid doing out here? Could he be—?!"

"No, no, Dasha. Little Xenia here isn't an accomplice or a bad person. Apparently, he just had dinner with the Gordon's and is currently on his way home when someone decides to play a prank on him."

"Is that so? Then he should go home now. It's dangerous outside. Monsters can't be lurking outside at night."

Although vague and faint, her last sentence did not go unnoticed by Xenia's keen hearing sense. He heard what Dasha exactly said and thought nothing of it.

"Will you escort him home, then, Dasha? I need to catch up with Grenoble and the others."

Dasha's face showed her utmost hate toward Xenia's family. It was so horrible and twisted that Doro could not help laughing at her.

"Now, now, Dasha. Set aside your ill feelings towards Xenia's family. The kid has nothing to do with their reputation, so please don't get mad, okay?"

Angrily, Dasha turned her back to Doro without saying a word.

"Follow me. I will leave you if you don't hurry up."

"Be careful on your way home!"

'Fucking weirdo! Suddenly blurting out a theoretical question like that... Doro is someone to look out for.'

Xenia did not want to see the look on Doro's face as he followed Dasha's trail into the night. He could imagine what face Doro was making as he saw them off.

"Walk faster! Ugh! Why do I have to be stuck with this damn kid? This is fucking outrageous!"

'Shut your damn stinky ass mouth, bitch. It's full of shits.'

***

Safely, Xenia reached his house and reheated the soup before serving it to his family.

As he was staring into the blazing flames from the firewood burning under the pot, Ergas came across Xenia's thoughts.

"Why would they be chasing Ergas? There's no way he did something. Is he the killer? Definitely not. Someone as frail as him won't even be able to properly swing a weapon. His body won't exert that much strength, even if he wanted to."

***

Tomorrow came and went by. Then, the next day, and the next, next day came by. In those few days, Xenia wondered where Ergas could be. He never went to our playground spot. Xenia did not tell anybody about this.

The information he holds to himself has important value, which he could not share with anyone, for he was afraid to involve them with the consequence of his actions.

"I've been noticing that observative pair of eyes. Everywhere I go it would follow me. Even inside our house, I could feel someone watching me."

Xenia's friends asked each other why Ergas was not playing with them anymore and why he was not showing up. They even dropped by his house and found that, even his parents were not home.

"Did they get him and take him somewhere? Perhaps Grenoble and his men locked Ergas up for a crime he did not commit or was accused of something else? I heard that the island has a small detention center where they put criminals, which will then be transported to the city."

Arlan and the others noticed Xenia spacing out after arriving at the playground. Above the tree, he had his back against were the ravens' Bandit and Mischief. The pair of ravens never really showed affection to other kids. On the other hand, they would approach Xenia, even though he has no food with him.

"Bandit and Mischief did not do what I told them. I was easily approached by Doro last time without my noticing his presence. I guess I am not that close to them yet, huh?"

"Hey, Xenia! You should come and see this!"

Franzia, Arlan, and basically all of his friends except for Ergas, who was nowhere to be found, were all huffing for air. They were drenched in sweat and trying to catch their breath after running from the town all the way to their playground, looking for Xenia.

"What's wrong, guys?" He asked, standing up and walking towards them.

"E-Er," Arlan could not finish his words due to tiredness and being out of breath. "Ergas!"

"Ergas? What about Ergas?!"

"He... He is in the public market! The townspeople are furious because Grenoble and his men were saying that he is the killer!"

"People are arguing whether Ergas should be burned at the stake or publicly hanged!"

~