Care much?

The dawn of my wedding day came very slowly. I couldn't blame it for taking its time, I didn't want the day to dawn either. I stayed awake for most part of the night, staring into the ceiling above my bed, wondering about what the future had in store for me. The road ahead seemed so bleak, I couldn't guess the next thing that would happen in my own life. One moment, I had been in charge and full control of my life, navigating it on the way I deemed fit. I admit that my life hadn't exactly been perfect, in fact, I was at my lowest of lows. Especially with the recent Rockshire drama, all the drama that came with living full time at my parents' place, needing to work extra for more pay and all that. But above all that, at least I had my life under my own control, and I was on my way. I had been having plans of moving out of my parents house by the end of the month, before Jordan showed up. I had at least saved up for that. I even had an estate agent searching for a new apartment for me on the other side of the city, the side where I would not have to bump into Daren or his mother or any of the many Rockshire errand dogs, ever again. I was going to concentrate on my work and build my brand. Become everything I had ever dreamed of. I had it all planned out, and I was diligently working towards it, before Jordan suddenly showed up and snatched the reigns of my life from my very hands. Now I was reduced to nothing but a puppet, held up by the strings of guilt, and controlled by a man without a soul, who held a grudge against me for almost being the cause of his young nephew's death. And I couldn't even do anything about it.

As the morning drew closer, at some point in the darkest part of the midnight, I began to conceive the thoughts of running away. I was feeling so much pressure that I actually began to think about it seriously. I could just pick a small bag and shove in everything I considered to be very important stuff, jump out of the window and get away. Or I could even sneak straight out of the front door. My parents had been working without stop for the entire day. I was sure they would be knocked off and sleeping like logs of wood.

What could possibly go wrong if I tried? I wondered. The worst that could happen was that I might get caught. It wasn't like my parents would risk hurting me at the moment, being that I was quite precious to them, and I held the worth of diamonds as it stood. Even when I was worth nothing, they couldn't have done anything to me. Actually, they would have been grateful if they caught me sneaking off. I bet they would have turned a blind eye and pretend they didn't see me.

As for Jordan, there was no reason why I had to do anything he demanded of me! I didn't owe him any loyalty! I didn't even know him! He had no right treating me the way he did! It wasn't like our engagement was for real. The entire relationship was a sham, and I was only going along with all of it because he had claimed that this was a way to save Daren's life. He was supposed to be grateful to me, and not treating me as some criminal. But then, I remembered that I had also been the reason why Daren had almost lost his life in the first place, and my fighting spirit fell right through. My strings were pulled again, and I was back to being a puppet. I was paying for my sins with my guilt, there was again, nothing I could do about it.

I turned on my other side and looked up at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was just a few minutes past three, and I sighed. Partly in relief that I still had a little more moments of freedom on my hands, and partly because the inevitable was drawing near, even though it was taking too long in coming. I suddenly began to feel thirsty, so I got up on my feet to go get some water from the fridge downstairs.

As soon as I opened the door, my mother fell right in, sprawling across the floor of my doorway. I looked down at her in shock as she jerked up from sleep and quickly jumped to her feet. Turns out she had been sleeping in the hallway, leaning against my door. I think she leaned against the door on purpose. She could have just laid down comfortably on the floor of the hallway if she really had to keep watch there, but no. She choose to lean against the door. I think she feared that if she laid down on the floor, she would have slept too deep, and If I tried to run, I could just step over her and get away. Thus, she needed that alarm system, so that if I tried to leave my room, she would be automatically roused.

My mother looked up at me, as she dusted invisible sand off her body, smiling shamelessly.

"Hey there." She grinned. "Did you need something? Water? I can go get it for you." She offered.

I did not answer her. I could not answer her. I just stood there, glaring at her with a mix of rage, pain and disgust. I wanted to say a lot of things to her, but the rage had gotten my tongue. I couldn't speak or even move my lips. I stared at her until tears began to cloud in my eyes. Then I stepped back into the room and slammed the door behind me.

I jumped into my narrow bed and pulled the covers over my shoulder. As I began to sob, I heard my Father's voice in the hallway.

"What was that?" He asked my mother. "Was she leaving her room?"

"Yes. I think she needed some water or something, but she went back in without even getting it because I was blocking the way." My water whispered, then she giggled nervously.

"Are you sure it was water she had to get? By this time? Wasn't she trying to get away?" My father whispered back.

"No. I don't think so. She was empty handed and dressed in her sleeping clothes." My mother replied, reducing her voice even more. But I could still hear them loud and clear.

I pulled the blanket farther over my head, and pressed my hands over my ears, to keep out any further conversation they may have. I was feeling nauseous just listening to their voices. I could not believe their shamelessness.

Those two had ignored me for most part of my life. They had not been there for me whenever I needed them. They had missed every important phase of my life, that I literally had to raise myself by my own self. They had never cared whether I was safe or not. I had never felt protected in all my years, growing up with them. They had left me all by myself most times without proper supervision, or even a nanny, ever since I was just four years old, before I could even know what was wrong or right for me. The best they had done was lock me in the house when they left.

And now, those two were standing guard outside my door, pretending to care about me when all they cared about was delivering Jordan his money's worth. They were like monkeys dancing at the zoo, begging for bananas. And as much as I really wanted to hate them in that moment, I felt pity for them. I knew they never really cared about me, but I still couldn't believe how low they could stoop, or how shameless they could be. And they had been reduced to this by money. But it was all because of Jordan. There, I could direct my anger and hatred. Since for whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to hate my parents despite all they had done to me, I decided to channel all that hate and anger back to Jordan. He was the villain here. He was the one throwing money around and making my parents dance like trained dogs in a circus show. He was the reason why my parents were being so shameless and unhinged. He was to blame, and I knew I would hate him forever for that!