Some Rage

"I heard Anax and that woman, Aggela, arguing last night." Ma Nana blurted out suddenly, when she came into my room for her routine clean up, on the morning after Jordan returned.

I had just finished taking a bath, and I was standing at the mirror, brushing my hair and trying to gather it into a knot. I looked away from the mirror to cast a silent gaze at Ma Nana. She stared back at me, and I assumed that she had gotten the message that I really did not want to hear anything about Jordan or his visiting mistress. I turned back to the mirror to resume tying my hair, and I was startled when Ma Nana resumed talking on the same topic. She clearly hadn't understood my gaze, or she probably just didn't care.

"I was retiring for the night, and as I walked past the dining room, the two of them were there, dining. That is when I heard them talking in raised voices." She said.

"Ma Nana, you should know that I really don't care about what you have to say. I don't want to hear anything about those two, please." I begged, but ma Nana continued anyway, as if she had not heard me.

"I didn't really get the start of the conversation, but from what I heard, Anax was mad at Aggela for coming to the mansion without his notice. Which is very strange, I must say." She said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "You see, in the past, Anax did not really care when Aggela comes around. He just ignored her when he was not in the mood, or when he was in the mood, they had their usual flings. Or they got about their business. But Anax never once complained about her visiting without permission."

"Ma Nana, I said I really don't care." I groaned. Once again, the old maid ignored my request.

"I did not mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, but as I happened to be standing there, I heard Anax mention that he came back because of you, kallos." She said, and suddenly, I was interested. My ears piqued as I looked at Ma Nana intently.

"Jordan came back because of me? How so?" I asked with sincere curiosity.

"Well, it turns out that Aggela did not inform Anax that she was coming, before she showed up here, as usual. And she called him only after she had called his sister, Helena. When Aggela mentioned the information she had gotten from his sister, Anax was furious that Helena had revealed the secrete about your marriage to Aggela, and he knew that the wench would taunt you with the information. That was why he hurried back here when Aggela called him. He came back to protect you, omorfi. He warned Aggela not to bother you, or he would send her away immediately." Ma Nana revealed.

For a brief moment, I stared at Ma Nana with unbelieving eyes, my lips parted slightly. The revelation sounded too farfetched from reality. I could not bring myself to believe it.

"You heard wrong." I said with a tune of finality, as I turned away from Ma Nana to look back into the mirror.

"I didn't hear wrong, kallos. I know exactly what I heard." Ma Nana argued.

"Then you probably stood too close, and Jordan noticed you were there, so he lied to your hearing." I said.

"Now, why would Anax do such a thing?" Ma Nana cried. I could hear the amazement in her voice.

"Maybe because he knew that you would come to me with this wild story, and he wanted me to hear that lie." I retorted.

"Why would he want to lie to you like that, omorfi?" Ma Nana cried again, sounding even more amazed.

"I don't know, Ma Nana. I don't know. Maybe so that I will buy into the lie, and then he can torture me later with reality. I don't care. I told you before, I don't want to hear about this. Just let me be already. Please." I cried in frustration.

Ma Nana remained quiet for a moment, and I sighed in relief, grateful that she was finally listening to me.

"That do not even make sense. You make make Anax sound like a psychopath man." The old maid mumbled quietly, pouting. Then she went back to cleaning, remaining silent for the rest of her chore.

I tried to forget about what Ma Nana had said to me. I kept telling myself that it was not possible, and restraining myself from being tempted to believe it. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but admit that somewhere in the depth of my mind, an excitement was building up, and my heart was racing like crazy. The thought that Ma Nana's revelation could possibly be true, the consideration that Jordan had indeed said those words, the more I entertained the thought, the more excited I became.

"Why?" I kept wondering. "If Jordan had truly returned to defend me against Aggela, then why?"

It wasn't like he cared so much about me. He had made that as clear as day from the very start. And I already knew how much he hated me, judging by the fact that he was hoarding me on his private island, to keep me away from his nephew. And then there was the nagging reminder that he thought of me as nothing but a complete gold digger. So no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come up with a reason why Jordan would attempt to defend me.

I was still pondering upon that when I wandered to the balcony that afternoon. When I looked down, I felt like a complete fool.

Jordan was lounging on one of the hammocks by the pool side, while Aggela sat beside him. Just when I looked out, Aggela leaned down into Jordan, locking lips with him in what appeared to be a passionate kiss.

I quickly leaned away from the balcony and dived back into the room, hoping that they had not seen me.

I leaned against the wall, taking several deep and long breaths to relax myself, and make sense of what I had just seen. But with every breath I took, I felt a heat coursing through my skin, running deep into my veins and bloodstream. And somehow, I recognized this heat to be rage. I was mad. I felt a kind of anger that I had never felt before in all my life, and I couldn't even help myself.

I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling that way, but I knew I didn't want to stop feeling that rage. It felt validated! It felt right, and it was all directed towards one person. Jordan.

I didn't really care about Aggela. She was just a tool. But Jordan, he was the cause of everything. I hated myself for the thoughts that had been running through my mind just moments before I stumbled on the sight of them. I had been right after all. There was no way Jordan had cared enough for me, to come to my defense like that. I was a fool to have even entertained the thoughts.

With the passing moments, rage built up in me even more, until I could feel my chest tightening, and the breath that came out of my nostrils felt so hot, so that I almost believed that I would breath our flames at any moment.

I was provoked, and I wanted to make Jordan get a taste of my rage. I didn't know how, but I was determined to try.