And If...

"I'm telling you Ma Nana! The whole family is sick! The whole lot of them need to get their head checked! It's not just Daren. All of them! Jordan, Helena and any other hidden relation they have!" I nagged as I vengefully dug my fork into a bowl of fruit salad Ma Nana had brought up to my room. I was complaining to the old maid about my ordeal with Jordan the previous night, during our dinner. Ma Nana leaned by the bedside cabinet, watching me in silence, with her hands folded across her front as if she was in deep thought. She remained silent, letting me vent all I wanted.

Ma Nana had not said any word, even after I had reported every single details of the previous evening. I assumed she was shocked speechless, so I continued venting. I couldn't blame her for being so astonished. Even I who had experienced it firsthand, still could not believe or understand it. So how could I expect her to understand?

"One minute, it was all peace and fun. The next minute, it was fire and smoke! I can't help but suspect that your Anax is allergic to peace! I think he gets sick when peace lasts for too long. Is he some kind of psychopath or masochist of some sort?" I asked. Then I slapped my fork down against the tray, and looked up at ma Nana.

The old maid had on a blank stare, looking straight at me without any expression! I had thought she was sympathizing with me. But the look on her face was so blank, far from what I had been expecting to see. Plus, she hadn't said any single comforting words to me, after hearing all I had to say! She just stared at me with a vapid glance, as if she was not listening to me, or as if she didn't care. It made me frustrated.

"Ma Nana!" I cried. "Have you not been listening to me? Did you not hear all I said?" I grumbled.

"I have listened. I heard you well." Ma Nana said, nodding her head. But her face remained blank.

"I poured my heart out to you. You heard all my frustration, and that is all you have to say?" I asked in alarm.

Ma Nana sighed, then she leaned away from the drawer and came to sit by my side.

"Omorfi, are you really disturbed? Does it bother you a lot? This thing omorfi did to you, do it pain you serious?" She asked me.

"Yes! And that is why I am complaining to you." I exclaimed.

Ma Nana nodded. Then she asked again.

"So, it pains you so much and it keep you up all night, through the night yesterday?"

"Of course!" I said in exasperation.

"And even after the sleepless night, it still bother you this morning." She went on.

I groaned, pulling my hair.

"Ma Nana, if it doesn't bother me anymore, would I be complaining to you?" I cried.

"Good." Ma Nana said, nodding again. "Now omorfi, I ask you. Have you been in relationship before? With a man." She asked.

I was taken aback by the ridiculous question.

"Ma Nana, my relationship with a 'man', brought me here in the first place. Why would you even ask?" I said.

"Before the Rockshire boy, was there any other?" Ma Nana insisted.

I tilted my head to look at Ma Nana thoughtfully.

"Where's this going, ma Nana?" I asked.

"Just tell me Omorfi, were there any other men?" Ma Nana insisted.

I hesitated for a moment, then I answered halfheartedly.

"Yes. There were a few." I said.

"Good. Good, kallos. Now, did you ever see any of those men get jealous over you?" She asked.

"What?" I cried.

"The men. Did you witness them get jealous, or act out in jealousy?" Ma Nana asked again.

I paused and thought briefly.

"Yes, there were incidents." I said.

"And none of those incidents likened to Anax's reactions yesterday?" Ma Nana said.

I gasped. How could ma Nana even...

"Wait, what? Are you saying Jordan acted out in jealousy? We were talking about his nephew, and he had asked the question. I didn't bring it up myself." I cried.

"You were talking about his nephew, who you used to be couple with! No man wants to hear you talk about your previous man, omorfi. Especially not with the words, nice, cute, and so on. That man had cooked you dinner, and you sit there telling him about how another man is cute and caring and what what!" Ma Nana scolded me.

"But he asked me. And even when I told him the truth, he accused me of lying! He called me a liar. What would I have said?" I cried in defense.

"Anax was not expecting the truth from you omorfi. He did not want you to tell him the truth. What he wanted was for you to lie! Make up ugly stories about your ex. Tell him how much you regret them." Ma Nana said.

"Daren is his nephew. You want me to talk down on Daren in front of him? He brought me here because he wanted to protect that Daren. And you think I should have talked ugly about him in front of Jordan?" I said.

"Yes omorfi. Yes!" Ma Nana nodded. "In that moment, Daren was not his nephew, but another man. And you were the woman between them. I bet you, if you had bashed Daren, the evening would have ended a whole lot better. Anax would have defend him. In that moment, it was his place to protect. You were supposed to attack, while he protect his little nephew, and comfort you. Tings would be perfectly ended. Protecting Daren is his duty, not yours." Ma Nana said.

I stared at her in silence and wonder, trying to make sense of all she had just said. But nothing was adding up. It was just hard to believe.

"Tsk tsk tsk." Ma Nana clicked her tongue, shaking her head pitifully as she stared at me. "You know nothing about men, kallos. And yet you claim to have been with many." She sighed.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my tongue felt heavy as lead.

"But then again, Anax is not any man." Ma Nana shrugged.

I finally found my tongue.

"All these things you claim would only make sense if Jordan cared about me. He doesn't even see me as a woman, so why would you think he would get jealous over something as slight as my description of another man?" I muttered.

"Again, I insist omorfi. You don't know men. If you did, you will not ask question like this." Ma Nana assured me. "And oh, before I forget. The fact that you are disturbed and restless, shows that you care about him too. I know I need to spell it out to you like this, because you don't even understand your own emotions. It is hopeless, I say. Because you cannot even understand yourself, what is the chance that you will ever understand someone complex as Anax? It is hopeless, for sure." Ma Nana sighed.

There was a sudden knock on the door, stopping me from replying to ma Nana.

The old maid went to get the door, and before she could even open it, I already knew who was there.

It was Jordan.