I’m confused and tired

A lull of almost a week since Aeneas opened up about his secret. Selah's relationship with Aeneas had strained a bit at that time. Aeneas is a bit more reserved and blatantly avoids Selah. Seeing him change his attitude like a frightened rabbit was strange.

Aeneas still says nothing, and Selah chooses not to mention it for now. It seemed to them that what was important right now was that both of them knew each other.

Of course, Selah didn't think this state of affairs was good, but it wasn't bad either. Well, they need to communicate and find a way out later.

After all, this wasn't the time for Selah to worry about her marriage.

"You came all the way to Tullia, Your Grace. Shouldn't you be busy with wedding preparations?" asked Baron Tullia.

"Your circumstances are more important, My Lord. Sir Hacket didn't say in his letter that you were in this condition," Selah said.

"Indeed, I asked for it. I don't want to worry you. Not in the middle of your wedding preparations."

Selah held her uncle's hand gently.

Baron Tullia's condition turned out to be even worse than Selah had expected. Hacket said that Baron Tullia's condition would have improved once the letter he sent arrived. In Selah's mind, that meant that Baron Tullia was able to work again and all of his wounds had healed. But Baron Tullia still needed rest and his legs couldn't be used properly.

His hair is also cut like that. That means his head wounded, Selah thought.

"Did you find out who the culprit was?" Selah asked worriedly. "If you please, I can send help."

"No need. Just use your people to oversee your wedding later, Your Grace," said Baron Tullia. "Your marriage is no less big than the Tullia Mines. You have to remember who you are and who you are going to marry."

"Actually, I met Crown Prince Blair a while ago," Selah told him. "He showed up at the perfect time. I'm sure he's the mastermind."

"If it is true that Crown Prince Blair is the mastermind, are you going to seek revenge right now?" Baron Tullia let out a long breath. "Don't act rashly, Your Grace. You already have too much to do right now. Don't worry, I can take care of mine here. Besides, there's already a very reliable Sir Hacket."

"Yes, it is true. It's just…." Selah subconsciously held her uncle's hand tighter. "I'm confused and tired."

Selah thought that at least the Tullia Mine thing would be over when her father was cared for. It turned out to be wrong. Coupled with Blair's threats and Aeneas' truth, to be honest, Selah had been feeling more and more depressed lately.

What went wrong with the plan? Was this all wrong from the start? Was Selah too obsessed with her revenge?

"Selah," Baron Tullia called softly. "While you're here, have a good rest. Don't overthink things alone. Just enjoy the time you have. Uncle isn't hurt that bad either."

"Yeah, alright..."

Baron Tullia smiled. "Rarely you can come here, right? Since you've read Helena's diary, why don't you take a look at the greenhouse? I tried to keep it alive after she left," he said. "Maybe you can find something there."

***

Tullia, the birthplace of Helena and Catalina, was once an arid and backward place. Located far on the border, Tullia often escapes the attention of royal leaders. If it weren't for Baron Tullia the First, Tullia wouldn't be where she is now.

The income earned from the mines was used by Baron Tullia the First to send his young men to the Capital City of Mesina for education. The youths would then return to teach what they got: how to polish a good ruby, trending jewelry designs, to ways to drain water and fertilize the soil. Dozens of years later, Tullia was transformed into a beautiful and prosperous region. All of its citizens live well now.

That's because mining money is used by, from, and for the people. What would the money be like if other nobles were to manage it? Selah thought as she watched the gardener tending the greenhouse.

"If you need anything, just tell me, Your Grace."

After a moment of silence, then looked around. "Which part of Queen Consort Catalina used to frequent?"

The gardener led Selah to one of the little corners. The corner looked green. It was not yet time for the flowers to bloom. Selah didn't know what flower it was, so he only paid attention to the leaves.

"Late Lady Helena often invited Her Majesty to have tea here. The late Lady Helena taught Her Majesty some of the etiquettes she was given because she thought Her Majesty deserved it more. Who would have thought that the late Lady Helena's teachings would be useful to Her Majesty?" the gardener recalled. "Though back then their statuses were noble and commoner, they got on well with each other. Well, basically, Her Majesty is a friendly person–everyone likes her."

"If Her Majesty is such a friendly person, I don't understand why she would want to be friends with my late mother. In my eyes, she is a harsh and gloomy person," said Selah.

"I can't answer that question, Your Grace. But that could very well be the beauty of the late Lady Helena, right?" The gardener smiled faintly. "The differences between them actually make them attracted to each other. The late Lady Helena you call harsh and gloomy and the gentle and shining Queen Consort Catalina; if united, they can form their own combination."

The description sounds like Selah with Aeneas. The difference is that Helena and Catalina always get along without any problems, in stark contrast to Selah and Aeneas, who often fight and keep secrets from each other.

"After Her Majesty's departure, the late Lady Helena often pondered in this corner until she finally decided to head to the Mesina Capital. We know she is trying to do everything to get Her Majesty back. But until the end, she never came back," continued the gardener. "When the late Baroness and Young Lord passed away, the late Lady Helena sat here all night. I don't know what she's thinking. We don't dare to disturb her."

"What is she doing?"

"She just sat staring at the plants. But her gaze back then… was filled with hatred. At that time, it was as if the late Lady Helena had completely lost it."

Selah couldn't imagine how her mother would feel. But remembering that this was the beginning of all the disasters and the truth being revealed, Selah made it natural for Helena's change in attitude. She became tougher and meaner, colder and meaner. Back then, Helena must have felt like Selah right now:

Tired and want to give up.

"Thank you for accompanying me. I want to be alone for now."

"As you wish, Your Grace. If there's anything you want, you can tell me."

After a moment of silence. "Are these flower seeds safe to bring to Mesina?"