SEVEN

the Neighbourhood was the only thing that got me by the whole weekend.

I was trying my best to get that image of Logan's dead body out of my brain but I started getting dreams about it. I couldn't even escape it in my sleep. Unfortunately, dad hasn't been as sympathetic as I thought he would be. I fell asleep on the kitchen counter the night before and he went mental. Music was the only thing getting me through all this and I'm sure I'm not the only person.

I had my favourite album blasting out in my room as I was wrapping my tie around my shirt. Maybe the music was a bit loud but I wasn't caring at this moment.

"Tom!" A voice bellows from the door and I sharply turn my head to see dad stopping at the doorway. "Are you gonna turn that down?!"

I roll my eyes and tap my phone before sliding the sound bar to a low volume, making the music drastically quiet. I continue to look in the mirror as I adjust my tie messily and leave the top button of my shirt undone.

"Hey, look." Dad starts. "I know this whole thing with Logan has happened and you were there but you can't afford to be losing sleep over it and slipping back down again. You've got your most important exams this year."

All my dad cared about all the fucking time, was school, exams, school, and education. Yeah, I get it's important but when something happens like this, it takes its toll on everyone. I despised Logan but his death was still a shock and seeing his dead body pictured in my head constantly was really putting me off. The whole school was on hold. Exams weren't even the school's top priority at the moment it was the death of Logan.

"Is all you're bothered about is exams and education?" I start angrily. "You don't even understand the amount of sleep I'm losing over this. Every time I close my eyes I see Logan's body on the ground."

Dad just stares at me. "Yeah well, to be honest, Tom you wouldn't be seeing it if you hadn't gone to that house party anyway. Which you're still grounded for by the way after puking all over my kitchen."

Wow.

"Are you serious?" I scoff angrily. "Mum wouldn't say anything like that!"

"I'm sorry?" Dad raised his eyebrows as I grab my school bag and start to walk out.

"I'll be late for school." I give him an icy glare as I continue to storm out of the room. Dad really just showed he does not give a shit about me or my mental well-being. The only thing he gives a shit about is my grades. I hated that man sometimes. So much.

•

It was already a really bad day and it wasn't even nine in the morning yet. I was sitting in the library by myself, I had only just remembered that I was meant to have football training but it would be over in five minutes anyway. I slept in too late. Not that I was bothered, football wasn't my biggest worry at the moment and I couldn't care if I got kicked off the team at this point. My mind was just constantly on what happened at that party. Nothing like this has ever happened so close to home before. Now Logan's death was being treated as suspicious it made me all the more nervous. And I couldn't stop thinking about Clara.

"Oh, here he is." An annoyed voice starts, making me roll my eyes. I just stare ahead. I knew who it was and I knew he was mad. Quite frankly I couldn't give a fuck.

"Why weren't you at football training?" I see Chris drag a chair from another table and sit down opposite me. "We really needed you. If you weren't up for it why didn't you just say so?"

"Just give it a rest!" I snap at him. "I slept in and forgot all about it but to be honest even if I did remember I wouldn't have come. Football isn't my top priority at the moment, Chris!"

Chris seemed taken aback by my sudden outburst and he actually seemed quite hurt. He bows his head down so he was staring at the table and instant guilt rushes through me. "I'm sorry, Chris. I'm just...tired. And all this...Logan stuff is doing my head in."

"Yeah." Chris looks back up at me. "It's just all gone a bit mental."

"Dad's acting as if nothing has happened and as always everything is my fault." I vent, rubbing my forehead.

"Mum hasn't said anything about it. She doesn't like talking around the subject of death anyway." Chris tells me. "Anyway seeing as it's now a murder investigation, Claude and Luke have gone all Sherlock and Watson."

I let out a little laugh. "I'm not surprised."

Chris gives me a small smile and for a moment we just sat there in silence. Just contemplating everything. It just felt mental that this was happening. My mind felt foggy, I was interested to know who killed Logan so I guess I was down to investigate with Claude and Luke but at the same time I was asking myself. Am I wanting to put myself through that? I'm already losing sleep over seeing his dead body. I'll be losing more trying to get my head around who committed the murder and trying and put missing pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle. That's what it was like. It felt like being in a jigsaw puzzle.

Suddenly the deafening ring of the bell goes and I groan. I didn't even bother to check what we had first. We'd been on the same timetable for ages and I was still forgetting what lessons we had each day. "What have we got first?"

"Double maths." Chris answers half-heartedly.

I let out another louder groan. "For fuck sake."

After a few minutes, we walk into class and mostly everyone was sat in their seats talking, it wasn't rocket science what they were talking about. As I look around the room I notice that Selena still wasn't there. She was never late to lessons unless she had an overrunning doctor's appointment or something. Either that or she wasn't in. But she would always let us know if she wasn't coming in and there was nothing. Being an overprotective boyfriend and a huge overthinker, instant worry set in.

As I sit down next to Chris, I grab my phone out and click onto messages, I tap Selena's contact and text her straight away.

:

?

As I send the text, my phone is suddenly snatched from my hands and my mouth drops open slightly in shock. I don't know why I was surprised because having my phone really visible out in class and texting on it, I was asking for it.

"You can have it back at the end of the lesson." Mr Lyons says sternly before strolling over to his desk and practically chucking my phone into the drawer. If he's damaged that I swear to actual god.

"Relax, mate. She's probably ill and in bed or something. Go round at lunch if you're that worried." Chris suggests.

He was probably right. I was probably worrying over nothing. She might've just been fast asleep in bed, choked up with the flu or something. This worried me again because one time I had a really bad flu once and I honestly thought I was near death then I gave it to Selena and she wasn't in school for a week because she was vomming blood. Once she was better I had gotten her a huge bunch of roses and a teddy bear to apologise for nearly killing her off too.

I nod at Chris and look back at Mr Lyons who was starting to go through the register.

"Liam Ashwood."

"Here." Liam replies.

"Elena Butterfield."

"Yep."

"Lo-" Mr Lyons stops himself and there was a sudden horrible atmosphere in the room. I mean it was horrible anyway because it was maths but it was a chilly kind of horrible.

"Tom Clarke."

I rub my forehead. I was just so exhausted I needed to sleep. My head felt so heavy and my eyes were shutting.

"MR CLARKE!" Mr Lyons suddenly yells, making me jump.

"WHAT?" I unintentional yell back. I hear a few gasps, scoffs and a couple of laughs from everyone else in the classroom. "I mean...yes sir, sorry sir."

I shrink down in my seat. My loss of sleep was starting to take its toll on me. I look over to see Claude giving me a concerned look and I immediately ignore it. I was in desperate need of sleep and if that meant skiving the rest of the day off, then so be it.

•

As it rolled around to lunch I was nearly at Selena's, I wasn't sure whether her dad would be home but at this point, I wasn't bothered. I don't actually know why Richard has such a huge issue with me, I would say I'm a nice bloke I can't be so bad that when he sees me he wants to stab me. Like where's the respect in that? It wasn't really surprising, Richard has no respect for anyone, and he's even losing his respect for his own daughters. What a dick.

I stroll into Selena's driveway and to my relief, her dad's car wasn't there. So that was something. Gradually, I reach her door and ring the doorbell, if she is genuinely ill she might be asleep so I'll feel bad if I've woken her up by accident.

After about a minute, the door opens and an instant smile rises on my lips as soon as I see Selena. She weakly smiles back and stands aside, allowing me in. I walk in and study her as she shuts the door. She didn't look that great, to be honest. "I just wanted to check on you."

Selena folds her arms and proceeds to walk into the kitchen. "I just didn't feel like going in. Do you want a tea?"

"Only if you're having one," I say following her and stopping at the unit, leaning back against it. "Baby?"

"Mm." She mumbles in response, filling the kettle up and practically slamming it on the stand.

"I know somethings really up." I softly say gesturing my hand forward a little before slamming it back against the side of my leg. "Just talk to me."

Slowly, she turns around and leans against the counter she was at, looking as if she was about to cry any minute which worries me. "I read my mum's letter. Last night. I didn't think it would get to me this much but I'm struggling without her here and because she's gone dads turned into a mega workaholic and with everything that's happened...I just need her here. I miss my little sister too."

"You can visit her, can't you?" I half smile.

Selena looks down at the floor. "That's the thing. She said I can't go down and visit her. Not until everything is properly settled. She said that won't be for a while."

I scoff. "Wow. Family."

She looks back up at me and just studies me curiously but also with a twang of worry in her eyes. "Tom, I hope you don't mind me saying this but you look exhausted. Have you not been sleeping?"

I exhale and nod. "This whole Logan thing. It's just got to me more than it should. Every time I shut my eyes I just see his body. I mean I fucking hated him but it's not nice seeing that, you know. And the school is full of it. I just can't sleep but now it's catching up with me and I need to hit the pillow."

Selena gives me a small smile before walking over to me. She stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck before bringing me into a hug, I slowly wrap my arms around her waist and reel her in closer to hug her tighter, burying my face in her hair. "Your hair smells like vanilla."

I feel and hear Selena laugh and I chuckle just as Selena pulls away a little so she was facing me. "I'm tired too. How about a long nap?"

I smile. "That'll be great."

Selena gives me a quick peck on the lips. "Because fuck school rights. Your mental well-being comes first."

It's like hearing myself think. This girl really gets me. Jesus. Sometimes I'm convinced she has a special power to read my mind.

"Let's go nap."

•

I jump awake to the sound of a constant ringing. And no not the annoying ear-type ringing. It sounded like a phone, but I was still half asleep so at the moment I didn't know what planet I was on. After what felt like forever, my eyes decided to fully open and I look down to see Selena starting to stir. I move my hand from the top of her head and start to slowly sit up, making Selena lift her head.

I realised at that point, it was my phone that was ringing and I fully sit up, looking to see where I put it.

"Tom?" Selena starts. I look over to see her rubbing her eyes and sitting up as well, she then turns over and grabs something from the floor. I watch as she passes my ringing phone and I smile in response. As soon as I look at my phone, my face falls. My phone had stopped ringing now but it didn't take away from the fact that I was gonna be going home to a really pissed-off dad. Sixty missed calls. Yes. Sixty. And then I look at the time, half six. I had been asleep for six hours. Fuck sake I was in real shit. My eyes shift over to see that I had a few missed calls from Claude as well. Oh yeah, okay, this was bad. Oops?

"You in shit?" Selena asks.

I just nod.

Selena lets out a tiny sigh. "You better get home. I'll be in school tomorrow so you'll see me then."

"I think I might avoid going home." I suddenly decide.

"You can't avoid it else it'll just get worse and you'll create a bigger hole for yourself." Selena advises softly.

I roll my eyes and climb off the bed before grabbing my school hoodie and tie off the floor. "My dad just won't get it."

"Get what?" Selena swings herself out of the bed and walks over to me.

"Me losing sleep. I had an argument with him this morning, all he seems to care about is exams and my grades. It's like he's ignoring the fact someone has died and the school is nothing but full of Logan's death, it's the only thing people are talking about. No one is concentrating in classes. I'm getting no sleep because I keep seeing his body all the time and all dad is bothered about is education. He doesn't care about anything else but that. He is an actual arsehole!" I explain. God that felt good.

"Tom." Selena stares at me with empathy in her eyes. "Of course, he cares about you. I know that. You just need to really sit him down and talk to him and get everything off your chest."

I scoff and shake my head. "He doesn't listen! No matter how hard I try, it just ends up turning into a huge argument!"

I didn't realise how angry and intimidating I sounded until I saw the taken aback look on Selena's face and an instant rush of guilt fled through me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby I didn't mean to upset you."

"No." Selena shakes her head. "It's fine."

"No, it's not," I argue calmly. "I shouldn't be taking it out on you. You deserve better than that."

Selena lets out a little laugh. "Tom, stop it. It's okay. You're frustrated about your dad, I get it."

I open my arms out, still feeling so guilty for losing it a little and to my relief Selena walks straight into them. I wrap my arms around her, feeling hers wrap around my middle and I gently kiss the top of her head. She always complimented my hugs, saying I was the best at giving them and it was nice to know that I was a good hugger. Every time I was around Selena I just felt happier. I don't know why. I just did. She really raised my mood.

"I better go," I say, pulling her out of my grip. "I'll see you tomorrow and you better be in else I'll be really mad."

Selena laughs. "Okay. I pinky promise you, I'll be in."

She holds out her pinky and I smile hooking my pinky onto hers. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow, babe."

As I start to walk away I hear Selena clear her throat loudly. I laugh and turn back around before walking back over to her and giving her a short kiss on the lips.

Selena tuts. "Pathetic, Thomas."

"Oh shut up." I reply making her grin.

She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a few more pecks on the lips. "You could stay a bit longer."

"No, I do really need to go," I say giving her one last peck on the lips. "Your right, I can't avoid my dad and I need to talk to him."

Selena unhooks her arms from around my neck and nods. "Alright. See you tomorrow then, Dickhead."

I laugh and walk out of the room. "Bye."

My phone starts to ring again and I roll my eyes, bracing myself for the upcoming torture.

•

"Get in that kitchen!" Dad demands, extremely enraged, pointing his finger towards the kitchen. I shut the front door behind me and chuck my hoody and tie on the stairs. I look over to see gran pulling me a sympathetic look like she knew the huge bollocking I was about to get and I roll my eyes, walking into the kitchen. I was first met by Clara who was sitting eating a bowl of noodles at the counter, she gives me a laugh and a smile as she twists her noodles with her fork, she was ready for me to get slaughtered.

I open the fridge door and grab out a bottle of juice, I could feel dad glaring at me from the back of my head but I just shake it off and unscrew the lid before taking a few gulps from the bottle.

"Turn round and look at me." Dad starts, anger lacing his voice. Here we go.

I roll my eyes and turn round so I was facing him. I'd never seen him look so angry before. To be honest, this was the angriest I've seen him.

"I got a call from school today." He clasps his hands in front of him like he was about to announce the weather on the news. "Where were you after lunch?"

"Why are you so bothered?" I hit back, making dad's face fall even scarier.

"What?" Dad questions in shock.

"Just saying." I shrug. "You care more about my grades than me. So why should you care where I am?"

Clara's mouth drops open a little and she scoffs, clearly enjoying it kicking off.

"Right, don't even try and pin this on me!" Dad spat. "I had your headmaster on the phone and he's furious! So come on, where were you?"

"At Selena's!" I declare. "Happy now?!"

"What were you doing at Selena's?" Dad questions.

"Shagging her probably." Clara comments snidely, making me pull her a look.

Dad raises his eyebrows and just stares at me. "Well were you?"

"No!" I shout. "I went round to check on her and decided to stay and take a nap to catch up on the amount of sleep I've lost!"

"Still no excuse, Tom, you still missed school. You're grounded for three months." Dad throws back. Clara snorts and my mouth drops open in shock. "Three months?!"

"That's right, seeing as you enjoy skiving from school so much you can now skive off from seeing your friends and having friends over here." Dad responds proudly.

Nope, I wasn't going to let this happen. "You can try and ground me all you want but you're not stopping me from seeing everyone else."

"You'll do as you're told Tom Clarke."

I smirk. "Yeah? Well, make me!"

With that, I storm out of the kitchen and run up the stairs towards my room. I was left really angry, dad knew how to get me. I hated him. I really hated him.

•

I suddenly felt really down later that night. I don't know whether it was the whole business with dad or the Logan thing or maybe it was because I was simply missing mum. I have moments when I suddenly miss mum. Like one minute I could be fine and the next minute I'm crying over her. It's been seven years now and I'll never be over it. I walk into the living room where I see gran sitting there on the sofa sipping a mug of tea. I stop in front of her and she weakly smiles at me. "Hello, Thomas."

I smile in response and take a seat diagonally from her.

"You're father filled me in." Gran begins.

"Right," I mumble.

Gran takes a small glance at me for a quick moment. "I've noticed you haven't been sleeping, dear. It's all of this Logan business isn't it?"

I nod. "I thought dad would understand. He just cares about my education more than me. He doesn't give a toss about me anymore. Couldn't care less."

"Thomas." Gran tuts. "He loves you and Clara more than anything else in the world. He will always put both of you before himself."

I scoff in dismay. "Well, he's not acting like it."

Gran chuckles. "He's just worried, sweetheart. He talked to me earlier, he said he's worried this Logan death is getting to you badly. Is it?"

I rub my eyes before leaning back in the chair. "I never thought it would. But just seeing him lying on the ground. That night. It was meant to be a fun party and it turned into a nightmare. Even worse someone killed him and...it could've been anyone."

"Sounds like something Claude would be interested in solving." Gran laughs.

"Yeah." I agree.

"Look after yourself, Thomas."

"I will." I give her a reassuring smile.

"Did you catch up on sleep though, when you missed school?" Gran asks.

"Yeah, me and Selena both did. Turns out she was just as tired as I was." I close my eyes for a moment and groan. "I just needed to get out Gran. The school is just full of it."

"Well a student has died, Tom. I'm not surprised it's all the school talks about." Gran answers and I open my eyes again and study her.

"Will it get better, Gran?" I ask.

"Of course, it will, darling," Gran replies softly. "Everything gets better in the end. I'm sure this will all be solved soon. And you can get back to normal."

"I hope so, Gran." I sniffle. "I really do."