34.Unwanted Guest

I must've been crazy to actually break up with Ashton. I felt so hurt, so angry, so sad....I even thought I wanted him dead. Worst of all, as much as I loved him, I still can't help but be scared of what his intent was.

Even so, him being here embracing me washs away those ugly dark thoughts and paranoid feelings and leaves only extreme need. The need to be with Ashton all the time....I must've gone absolutely insane. I don't even think he can comprehend just how hopeless I felt without him and how complete I felt with him. Even if he did approach me with the intention of hurting me, I'll still love him.

He's here with me, yet it still feels as though I'll cry. I really do wonder how I became so obsessed with someone.

Thinking back, when I met this guy, I was thinking of killing myself. If I hadn't met Ashton, I would've never been able to fathom something better for myself and would've died young. I tried to avoid him at first and didn't want to trust him as he tried to get close to me. But I still secretly wondered how I should talk to him. Did I have to talk to him? Why did he want to talk to me?

Maybe it was the rush of someone, other than my dad, being nice to me for the first time in my life, that I wanted to get to know him as well. I kept my walls up high for a while with him, but Ashton was able to gentle break them down, making me face my issues, making me more honest, making me flustered, making me lose my sense of reason. Before I knew it, I had become overwhelmed with desire for him. I wanted to have him in the depths of my soul. He turned out to be the most caring and loving person I had ever come into contact with. I also learned that he was quite insecure and a pacifist, contrasting the rough people I was used to being around, still I couldn't help but love him. We've spent many nights together where he will just hold me closely and savor the time. Despite the odds, I never want to give up on Ashton, because of the look he gets when he sees me, because of the way he feels when he kissed me, because of the hands that held me while I held him, because of the perfect heart he maintained, I could never give this up, because all the signs showed that he loved me too. How could I not fall for someone so endearing? Suddenly, Ashton's touch became my most intoxicating drug.

I want to touch him, hug him, kiss him, love him, even if he's from a completely different world than mine. Ashton is so great, he seemed unreachable. The fact that he came to me blew my mind.

I truly wanted to kill the tiny flame that burned inside of me, but Ashton just reignited the fire and will in me to survive. I now felt unstoppable in a way. The fact that he still wanted me so desperately after everything that happened, despite my many flaws, made me adore him even more. I can't give him up, and there I was falling for him harder than before.

He also had a tense to surprise me, as he wasn't really picky about food, as long as it was organic. He quickly squashed any doubts I was having as soon as they popped up. He doesn't hide anything from me, unless he thinks it'll make me sick or stress me out. No matter what, he prioritizes us being happy together even when I doubt him.

Those were just more reasons to love him.

When he showed off his wealth to me, I became incredibly anxious. I wanted to immediately tell him that I don't care about his power or his money. That he could be the poorest in the slums and I'd still love him. Even if other people might see it as a chance to take advantage of him, I didn't want to do that. I tried to set a boundary to be safe, just so I can prove that I hadn't wanted to take advantage of him now. But, he quickly shut down my negative sentiments. In fact, instead of forcing things on me, he kept making deals and trades to ease me into accepting thing worth more than my life.

As he started to put extra meaning behind the gifts he gave me, the piling gifts became consolation when he wasn't around me. No matter what I tried to busy myself with, all I could do was miss him when he wasn't physically there. So much so, that it started not to matter why he approached me, even if his intentions were bad. He could be so indifferent to the world, usually standoffish and prideful when it came to dealing with everyone else, but with me, he dropped it all in desperate shows of affection and niceties.

Because of him, all the resentment I held disappeared with Vincenzo. There was only space in my mind for Ashton, even when people protested against it, even if I was too sick to be feeling, I'm sure it's driving me insane. I even started to love the fact that he threatened to lock me up if I ever tried to leave him again. I don't think he's ever lost anything before, but his pride was a lovely characteristic of him.

Why was he so willing to drop it all to be shameless in front of someone like me? Why did he feel he had to try so hard with me? I was so sensitive to every word he said and every move he made towards me. I didn't miss a thing, nor could I miss the fact that Ashton was deeply in love with me.

When he saw me at the hospital, I was anxious as I broke off the relationship. Then anxious as I saw him force himself leave for the sake of my health. Then anxious from the pain I felt. Then anxious because I missed him so terribly. Then anxious because I didn't explain to him what really happened. When I thought we had reached the end of our relationship, it was so crushing that I could hardly breathe. It was clear then that I had fallen to the point where I felt that I couldn't live without him.

Even after I did that to him, he came running back to assure me that everything was fine and he had taken care of the obstacles in our way. What bothered me the most is that I made him feel as if I didn't trust him. I hurt him by doubting him, but he still tried his hardest to understand that I couldn't help it. Even so, he was the last person I should ever doubt, even if everyone else did.

I didn't deserve him, but I damn sure wasn't letting him go. I felt so grateful that he continued to chose me.

That didn't mean I wasn't still anxious. One day, Ashton will basically own an empire. A man in his position can't afford to look foolish in front of other people to maintain his prestige. That means I can't be that way either since I'll be with him every step of the way. Women like Katy will try to fight me for him tooth and nail, rumors will spread every time he's seen near a woman out alone, and I'll have to deal with it all. It makes me angry, and sad, and insecure, but I won't run from it next time, even if it kills me.

I love him. We're getting married. There's no need to panic over anything. Ashton can take care of what he needs to and more because he's very capable. All I have to do is trust and follow his lead. At some point, Vincenzo made me unable to truly trust anyone, that's what made me so insecure in the first place. But now I'm determined to change it.

I have another chance, and I'm not going to hurt the person I love again. Eventually the trauma from Vincenzo will fade, maybe even the regret will go away as well. But then, doubt is a burden I might have to carry for the rest of my life.

But I can't help but believe Ashton.

My hearts expanding because I could watch the man I wanted more than anything else sleeping peacefully next to me. The man who made me feel alive.

He'll be hungry once he wakes up, won't he? I took his arms from around me and slowly got up, enduring the soreness shooting up my back. The big bastard couldn't help but turn into an animal could he? Still, I made my way into the kitchen and started to prepare a big meal for him.

Just as I was about to flip his omelette, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and the smell of pine filled my nostrils. Ashton waited for me to flip it become he spoke. "Wait until I wake up to get out of bed next time, Lovebug."

He was trembling lightly, as if he had gotten scared or anxious himself. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing baby, just wait for me," he let me go and started to take out some plates and silverware for me to serve on. He must think I might try to leave him again, seeing as he was secretly staring at me as I made breakfast. The fact that I left the bed first, even after all we did, might've scared him because I've never done that before. Maybe he thinks both things.

"Ok, next time, I'll wait for you," I smiled down at the food in the pan, knowing very well that he might see me blushing.

Ashton ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek. "Good morning, Lovebug."

My face felt hot and I was losing focus on the food. "M-morning!" I squealed turning the fire off and focusing on the biscuits in the oven that were almost ready.

"You're making biscuits too! Those are my favorite," he enthusiastically said. I had to get a hold of my feelings. Ashton and I had sex last night, I then woke up and immediately started to make him breakfast, now here he is he helping me get it ready after a good morning kiss. We we're basically acting like a married couple already.

Well, we've been acting like one for a while already. That's all we've ever acted like with each other, yet it felt like we were still pursuing each other. I fell for him as well and that's why I took his hand, so he could lead me down whatever twisted path he wanted. But now that I'm walking it with him, I can't help but fear that there will be an end of the road with a cliff, one from which I can never recover from to find my own way.

What is it that I want? What am I trying to accomplish here?

"Baby!" Ashton shouted. I snapped out of my trancelike state dropping the hot tray of biscuits I had stupidly picked up with my bare hands. Luckily the tray fell flat only letting two roll off the side onto the floor. Ashton rushed me to the sink and turned the cold water on before shoving my hands under it. "What were you thinking?! Didn't you hear me calling you?! Why would you pick this up with your hands?!"

It hurts! "I got lost in my thoughts."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"Not as much as you would think," I told him honestly as he ran to get the first aid kit. As much as it burned, it brought me back to when I felt comfortable hurting myself to feel anything it all. Somehow, burning my hands like this made me feel.....good? Like I was made of something real. "It doesn't hurt."

"Don't lie to me, baby," Ashton started to rub some burn cream over my hands gently. "Why would you pick it up like that?"

"I don't know, I wasn't even thinking," I confessed. "It just happened."

Ashton sighed and started to wrap my hands in gauze. "Be careful, don't hurt yourself."

It's his genuine kindness that breaks me. There's no need for me to do that anymore just because I was anxious. "I love you."

"I love you too. Go sit, I'll serve you the food," he kissed my bandaged hands and stood up to take care of the mess I had made. The burns do hurt, and they didn't feel good at all, it just made me realize that my old issues can still show up even when I felt healed. I was being given grace by being with Ashton....so I shouldn't waver.

Ashton put out breakfast down on the kitchen table and sat next to me. "Thanks."

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm still anxious, even though I know there's nothing to be anxious about. I trust you with my life, but I don't at the same time. It feels as though this might end and if that happens, what do I do?" I told him. "It's hard for me to even tell you this, even though you do it so easily."

"Is that all?" Ashton asked with a mouth full of biscuit. "You don't have to feel bad about doubting me or not trusting me fully. After all that's happened to you, I'd be suspicious if you did fully trust me and I'd bring you to therapy myself. They'll go away with time. Until then, you can doubt me and not trust me all you want. I'll prove your paranoia wrong every time and I won't get tired of it. I'm confident in that, and if you haven't realized, I'm extremely stubborn. Just don't break up with me again."

"You won't get tired of it?"

"Not when I know how much you love me," he smiled. "Besides, I knew what I was getting into from the start. I wouldn't put my all forward if I didn't think you were worth it."

I was worth it to him? Involuntarily my mouth turned up into a cheesy smile. "L-let's eat." Ashton pulled my head towards his and gave me a long warm gentle kiss. "I-I'm hungry!"

"Aw, I know you secretly like it when I'm pushy. You won't say it out loud much, but you haven't stopped smiling yet." I somehow seemed to have put him in a good mood. Picking up my fork to eat turned out to be a hard task as I could barely close my hand due to the pain of the burns. Just my fucking luck! "You look irritated."

"I am. After the heart attack....I'm just thinking a lot more," I said. I've been over analyzing and doubting. Everything more and more. Nothing about Ashton's life was easy and the reality is that I'll be targeted by people that don't like the sight of me on Ashton's arm. Sure, Ashton will come to my rescue anytime, I know he will...but I haven't committed to the fact that Ashton is worth it fully.

"Was I too hard on you?" Ashton asked picking up his fork and feeding me from his plate. I shook my head. In fact it wasn't enough for me last night. "Your hands must be hurting, let me just take care of you."

To sweet to be real. Well, he was that way from the start. Have I seen an uglier side of him? Did he have one? I've seen how cold he could be when we met his bio parents, I've even seen him be awkward and insecure as well. If I need space, he'll give it to me. If I'm upset he'll do anything in his power to make me happy. I've seen him mad. I've seen him get petty with people. It all feels so real.

"Do I deserve it?"

"Everyone has a different idea of what others deserve. I think you deserve only the best, while you think otherwise. So it stops being about what we deserve and it becomes about what we want. I want you and you want me, so let's work out the kinks as we go along."

"If it becomes about want.....well wouldn't that become selfish at some point."

"Selfish love is focused on getting what one can gain from their partner and the relationship. Selfless love is about sacrificing everything for another and accepting the other without judgment," Ashton explained. It felt like he was being a therapist to me again. "I'm not as selfish as Vincenzo."

"What-"

"I think how you see love is warped because you've never really gotten it genuinely."

"My dad-"

"That's different. Just know I won't do what Vincenzo did to you," he sighed. I chewed my food silently and thought a bit more. Ashton knows how to empathize with me, he always acknowledges when I'm having a hard time even before I do, he trusts me with whatever I say, he showed genuine interest in me, he cared for me whenever he possibly could and he frequently went out of his way to make me feel loved and supported. He put up with me having the stupid crush on someone else. He also wasn't overly critical of the things I like or do. He never lets me make assumptions and is always transparent with me. He lets me make my own decisions and just supports me from the side instead of calling it stupid and demanding me to give up. If we argue, he'd let me win. Shit, when I broke up with him, he left me alone and even begged for me to take him back after he had solved the problem for me.

And I just gave up.....well my heart did. It doesn't change the fact that I was trying to move on without him, as hard as it was. I gave in as soon as I saw there was no danger left towards me.

I see the problem now. I can't be confident in my love for Ashton because I feel as though I haven't had much to offer him as he has with me. But....the only thing he's asking for is love and I haven't given him enough. "What can I do to thank you?" I asked.

"Don't break up with me again, just be honest with me if we're going to get along without fighting, and keep loving me. I also wouldn't mind having these biscuits every morning we can. Did you make this from scratch?"

A change in conversation? "Yes, I learned how to make them after I heard about your diet."

"Really?" He lit up.

"No, it's Pillsbury. I don't know how to make biscuits from scratch," I confessed. That's another thing, he lets me tease him because he knows it makes me feel better. "Im sorry, I can't stop overthinking it. I do love you a lot though." Ashton was so worth it.

"Don't stress over it baby. Just give it time. If you feel guilty just ask for forgiveness and stay with me," Ashton said. The kettle started to whistle at the moment to my surprise. "Oh, I put the water on. Black tea alright?"

"Yeah," I nodded. I watched him walk into the kitchen. His face and his butt must be my weakness otherwise, how could he make me feel so good without doing anything? He walked back out and put the mug on the table.

"Be careful, it's hot," he warned. I leaned down to try and taste it and subsequently burnt the tip of my tongue. Ashton immediately opened my mouth and touched my tongue with his fingers. "Baby, I just told you it was hot! How burned did you get?"

Yes, what he was doing was really hot. As he kept trying to examine my mouth, I started to lick his fingers as sensually as I could. Seeing his worried face makes me feel impulsive as hell. "I did burn the tip on my tongue a bit so.....can you rub it so it won't hurt?" Finally, his eyes meet mine and I couldn't be mistaken by what I saw, his darkened eyes are hot and restless.

In desperation I crushed my lips to Ashton's and pressed my body onto his, backing him against his chair. I could feel his surprise, but it didn't last long before it turned into a heated desire. His lips parted and I thrust my tongue inside his mouth, feeling his own sliding against it. His hands were on my clothes, urgent and impatient, pulling at my shirt impatiently. I pushed my hips into his and he moaned as my hardened cock pressed into his own. I felt a thrill at his reaction. Ashton was always so incredibly responsive to me, and I really liked that. He made it easy for me to lose myself in the physical sensations his body against mine could bring. I helped him remove his shirt so I could see and feel his large muscular torso and I looked at his strong beautiful form, his chest heaving as he panted in desire.

I attacked his lips again, wrapping my arms around his shoulders while his hands slid down to my ass and pulled me closer to him. We both groaned at the movement. He placed open mouthed kisses on my jaw, up my neck to my ear and bit gently on the lobe, running his tongue around the shell.

"What the hell?" A gruff familiar voice sounded from next to us. Of all times, Uncle Mickey had to show up now, didn't he?

I turned to glare at him as Ashton just sat there frozen removing his hands from my butt. "What do you want?"

"I just came to visit, I didn't know you were getting busy," Uncle Mickey put his hands up. "But don't do it on your fathers table. We had to extort a person for a while before we could get that table, so it has some sentimental value."

"We weren't going to do anything on the table!" I snapped. "Geez, Uncle Mickey, don't you know how to knock? I'm busy here."

"Dan, let's just-"

"Relax! Why wouldn't I be able to walk in? You think I need to knock to see my nephew?" Uncle Mickey snapped back. "Although I never though I'd see you trying to get with a guy."

"I'm attacking him in my own house! Go home so I can finish up here!"

"You sound just like your dad when I caught him with your mother." Uncle Mickey turned his attention to an embarrassed shell shocked Ashton, so I quickly helped him put his shirt on. "Whatever it is, I need to have a long overdue talk with the two of you."

"About what?" I asked.

"I might not always be here," he said. "In my line of work, survival isn't guaranteed, and what're you gonna do then? We gotta toughen you both up. Make a man outta you."

"Who's after you now?" I asked him seriously.

"No one, but after everything that happened, I figured it's time we have a conversation. Well, really, I need to speak to your boyfriend," Uncle Mickey took a seat and helped himself to the food on my plate. "How'd you tame my nephew?"

"Excuse me?" Ashton looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"I guess I should explain where I'm coming from and why I worry. Dan has always been a lot more dark than a lot of the other children, really more than any other kid I've met. But it was truly because of the hoods he grew up around. On the outside he always came off as a normal polite and mature kid, but there was always something off about him." Uncle Mickey explained.

"What makes you say that?" I asked feeling slightly offended.

"The dog." He said effectively shutting me up. "When Dan was younger, my ex brought him a dog she found abandoned. He couldn't take it home but he took care of it at the club everyday. I thought it was a good substitute for that Vincenzo kid who liked to hover around him. In fact everyone saw it as a great way to keep that nuisance away. But it didn't take a genius to see that Dan didn't feel the same way as we did. Everyone could tell that he couldn't accept the dog as a friend or companion. There was no warmth at all. Eventually we saw the dog had been killed and mutilated.

"When I saw how it got cut, I realized that it was my fault. He was just copying what he had seen me do to someone else. That's why he was put into therapy as a kid."

"Don't use me to confess, Mickey," I grumbled.

"Confess?" Ashton asked.

"I just thought it's better to let him know what I'm concerned about, and that's the effect I may have had on you," Uncle Mickey defended himself. "Well, he saw me freaking out after I had just snapped my exs neck. She was lying on the ground limp and cold, and I couldn't calm myself down enough to comprehend that Danny was watching me. I could've buried her, but it was summer so she would've rot quickly. So I decided to put her in the deep freezer. It took a while, but I cut her limbs and head off and wrapped her up. The next day, Dan helped me sell the meat.

"I didn't think much of it at the time. It was just my nephew learning and helping my business like I was forced to help my dad after school. It wasn't until I saw what he did to the dog a few weeks later that I realize that I might've traumatized him or made him think that my lifestyle is normal."

"Dad already told me it wasn't right, so I didn't do it again and he put me in therapy with Vincenzo. It's not like I want to murder anyone." I told him. "And I wasn't traumatized."

"You watched me murder someone, how could that not have effected you in some way? You can't tell me you haven't thought about it, because I saw what you did!"

"Of course I thought about it! That doesn't mean I'll go through with it! I know right from wrong now! Why do you think I didn't kill Vincenzo every chance I had!" I snapped at him. I didn't mind the stunt Uncle Mickey had decided to pull only because he seemed to really feel bad about what I did because I wanted to be like him. He never did anything without reason, so most likely, he was trying to plead a case for me.

"Well, I think Dan is quite a peaceful person. He discourages violence if I ever suggest it. And I've offered to beat people up for him many times," Ashton finally piped up. "Besides, if he wants someone to disappear or be hurt in the future, I'll just do it myself so he doesn't get his hands dirty."

"You can handle how fucked up he is?" Mucky looked surprised.

"Hey! I'm not as fucked in the head as you are!" I crossed my arms.

"I can handle anything, even if he does go crazy," Ashton said confidently. Ashton was just looking at this as a way to gain favor with Uncle Mickey, that's why he didn't seemed phased hearing about him murdering someone.

"Why are you handling his confession so well, kid?"

"Well, if he did it, she must've been a bad person, right?" Ashton naively said looking between Uncle Mickey and I. "Right?"

"He's cute," I excused him.

"How did you get to know my nephew? And... You do know that he is the same gender as you, right?" Mickey asked with an eyebrow raised.

"If he wasn't, I wouldn't be interested," Ashton chose this moment to squeeze me, reminding me that I was still straddling him. "We got to know each other through talking and hanging out a lot. My first impression of him was that he was a feisty gloomy guy who likes to argue. He has his limits but he still fights no matter what because he has no fear, and I love his values. And I'm fully aware that Danny is a man. I even asked my parents for advice on how to court him."

"Courting? This isn't a Disney movie kid!"

"It's the southern way."

"Seriously? They're ok with you dating a guy?"

"They encouraged me to go for it from the beginning. They approve of everything I decided, even children in the future."

Uncle Mickey almost fell from his chair. "My nephew can't get pregnant!"

"He's talking about surrogacy, Mickey," I told him. "Someone else will have the baby."

"Do you really think that you have the right to date my nephew and raise children together?" Uncle Mickey asked, ignoring me. His glare was much fiercer than the previous usual ones he shot at people.

Ashton gulped as he exhaled deeply. "I will try my best. I will do anything for Dan because I really love him," he answered.

Uncle Mickey let out a deep sigh and Ashton observed him carefully as he stood up and walked out to his living room. He turned to face us from the doorway. "Come with me. I have to test how strong your said 'love' for my nephew is," he said calmly.

Ashton just sat there dumbfounded before lifting me to my feet and turning to follow Uncle Mickey. "Ashton, you don't have to do this. Uncle Mickey is a very good fighter, he's been fighting in the streets for 45 years! He's just trying to test you by picking a fight-"

"Exactly baby, it's a test to see if I have what it takes to protect you, and I accept the challenge," he kissed my cheek. I quickly followed them into the living room where the furniture had already been moved. Mickey must've done it before coming into the kitchen!

"Alright kid, no holding back, or I'll shoot you. Come and get it," Mickey smiled before he rushed.

As he rushed, he swung a powerful right. Ashton showed no hesitation meeting him halfway, and lashed out with his own right. His punch was faster, and it caught Mickey flush, but he took it on the mouth, spat blood, caught Ashton and hurled him to the floor with such force that a few things around the room rattled. Ashton rolled over like a quickly, gasping for breath, and just got away from under Mickeys Doc Martin boots as the big man tried to leap on him to stamp his life out.

Ashton scrambled to his feet, and lunged as he picked his hands from the floor, ramming Mickey in the chest. Mickey jerked up a stiff thumb, trying for Ashtons's eye, but he rolled his head away just in time and swung a left to the wind, and then a driving right that ripped Mickey's ear, causing some blood to spill.

Uncle Mickey now charged again and caught Ashton with two long swings on the head. Ashton braced himself and started to swing in a blind fury, both hands going with every ounce of power he could muster up.

Mickey met him in the middle of the room again and the two started to slug each other. Ashton was bigger, and his punches looked like they packed terrific power, but were a trifle slower. It was nip and tuck, dog eat dog, and the two fought until I could hear the breath coming from their lungs and whistling through their teeth. Uncle Mickey ducked his battered face and started to walk in, evading the tide of Ashton's blows by sheer physical power.

Ashton shifted his attack with lightning speed. He missed a right hook, and following it in with the weight of his body, slid his arm around Uncle Mickey's thick neck, grabbed the wrist with his left hand, and jerked up his feet and sat down hard, as if trying to break Mickey's neck. But Mickey seemed like he knew all the tricks, and as Ashton's feet flew up, he hurled his weight forward and to the left, falling with his body half across Ashton. It broke the hold, and they rolled free. Ashton came to his feet, and Mickey, catlike in his speed, lashed out with a wicked kick for his head.

Ashton ducked away from it and hurled himself at Mickey's one standing leg in a flying tackle. The big man went down, and as they scrambled up, Ashton hit him with a left and right, splitting his right cheek and lip, causing it to swell immediately.

Mickey was bloody and battered now, yet he kept coming, his breath wheezing showing off his endurance. Ashton jabbed a left into his face, set himself and whipped up a right uppercut to the body in a series of clean boxing movements. Mickey gasped. Ashton circled, then smashed him in the body with another right hook, then another and another. He followed it up with what looked like two thudding, bone- crushing blows, and Mickey reeled, tried to steady himself, and then fell to his knees in exhaustion.

"Dammit, you're lucky I'm not in my 20s anymore," he sputtered. "I've fought Northskye wrestlers before, I didn't expect you to know boxing as well."

"I know many things. I guess this means I win, right?" Ashton held his shoulder keeping his eyes trained on Mickey for any sign of movement.

"If I say it's not enough?"

"I've got plenty of time to continue," Ashton got ready to attack again.

Mickey got to his feet and dusted himself off. "I haven't fought like that since high school. You've earned my respect, most people wouldn't have the balls to fight me knowing exactly who I am. But you did it without hesitating and you actually had the balls to go in for the kill."

"That's a roundabout way of admitting you lost," Ashton huffed causing Mickey to burst into laughter.

"Fine kid, you win. I'm getting to old for this shit anyway. Dan's your responsibility now."

"So....you challenged Ashton for a fight to get your respect?" I asked when I felt the situation turned back to a lighter vibe.

Mickey just nodded his head. I could get upset, but it would ultimately be for nothing as this is just how Mickey was. If anything, I was really glad that it looked like Ashton didn't get really hurt, and Mickey didn't pull out a knife to fight dirty.

I ran to get the medicine box from the kitchen and started to tend to Ashton first. "Uncle Mickey, you had your fun and you see he can take you on. Now can you just talk to him without picking a fight off any morbid shit?" I bagged him.

"Who made you the boss of me?"

"Why won't you just leave me alone? I'm old enough to see anyone I want," I said with a glare.

"Yes, you are. I would leave it alone if I previously thought you chose a decent partner," Uncle Mickey retorted in a way that made Ashton cringed in his place.

"Wha-"

"What did you see in him?" Mickey asked me quickly. I silenced myself for a minute.

"How should I know about it?" I rolled my eyes. "He is stupid but he's also smart, naive, cheesy, clingy, petty and really insecure when he gets anxious. Not to mention that huge fucking ego."

"Then....why?" Mickey asked again.

"It's so cute I can't help but love it," i simply answered. "He makes me seriously happy and he's really good at a lot of things."

"Well then, we should celebrate the new addition to the family," Mickey said enthusiastically as I started to treat his cut cheek and lip. "You picked a good one this time, Dan."

"Shut up, I'm mad at you for fighting him! Who needs your approval?" I said. "I'm honestly shocked that you fought fairly."

"Oh please, I have nothing to gain from stabbing a kid. It'll do me no good. This is our family though, he needs to be able to handle it and he needs to protect you. At least he's not that other kid. Let's drink to celebrate!"

"It's still morning," Ashton pointed out.

"Boooooo!" Uncle Mickey directed his distaste at Ashton.

"We're both underaged and Ashton is still considered a minor. We can't drink," I said.

"Make me a drink then."

"Stop coming here to drink all dads bourbon," I complained a bit more. "And don't ever touch Ashton again! I actually got really scared for a little bit. What if you had really hurt him?"

"How about this, if Ashton needs the gangs services, we're available. And since he's family now, it'll be discounted."

"That's pretty cool," Ashton handed Uncle Mickey a beer from the fridge while I held an ice pack to his face. "Aren't you proud of me, Lovebug? I won."

In all honesty, Ashton's willingness to fight was sexy. And the way his muscles bulged and his face scrunched when he fought with excellent form was enough to send me over the edge. I definitely have a thing for strong muscular men fighting, especially if they looked as hot as Ashton.

"Good job," I muttered.

Ashton sighed and rolled his eyes before he swooped down to pull me to my feet and kissed me. Harry stood frozen, too surprised to react, and when I finally recovered, Ashton had already broken away. I blinked up at him, momentarily stunned that he did that in front of Mickey.

"You kissed me!" My voice was incredulous while he smiled triumphantly, causing my breath to catch in my throat.

"I'm just claiming my reward for winning, be happy for me. I gained the respect of your Uncle and he said most people wouldn't have taken him on. Come on, call me brave or something."

I felt my face heat up. The only thing that would make this better would be if he whisked me off to bed and ravaged me to release whatever aggression was left over. Why did Ashton have to be so fucking hot all the time?

"I'm happy you won. I have a problem when you and my uncle decide to have a pissing contest in front of me," I said. "It's bad enough Uncle Mickey has no shame, and I don't want you sinking to his level."

"Hey! My level is nothing to be shameful of! What's wrong with me making sure some preppy kid can protect you? Like it or not, this is the only way I can accept you dating a man," Uncle Mickey defended himself.

"Do you have a problem with me being gay?"

"No! But you aren't going to date a man who's weaker than your dad and I, that's for damn sure. On top of that, I'm older than you! How could you question my methods?!"

"Because you're a petulant child! Look! You hit my baby in the face! You asshole! Apologize to him right now!"

"Fuck you! I did this for your benefit! Ungrateful shit!"

"I didn't ask you to do this!"

"But I still did! How good am I?!" Mickey took a swig of his beer happily. It was so useless to argue with this headache of a guy, I swear.

"You don't even know him."

"Men are all the same!"

"After you speak to him normally, he really is a very nice guy."

"Why did do I have to do any of that?"

I looked at Mickey with raised eyebrows. "Because you're totally freaking out right now? Even dad was really afraid of your reaction."

"I just don't want someone breaking your heart."

"That's part of being in love."

"I'll break every bone in his body if you end up crying because of him."

I forced a smiled. "Be nice to Ashton."

"I can't promise that."

"He beat you!"

"No one else would believe it."

"You're absolutely incorrigible. I can't stand you," I said throughly annoyed. "Now that you're done causing trouble, can you leave?"

"It's alright, I'm not hurt," Ashton pulled me to sit on the couch with him so I would stop arguing with Mickey. After a few seconds of silence, Mickey excused himself to the kitchen to make himself some food.

"You seriously weren't scared at all? You're shaking," I asked Ashton when I was sure Mickey couldn't hear us.

"Honestly baby, feel my heart," I felt Ashton's chest which showed that his heart beat was fast. "I'm still trying to calm down. No one's ever come at me like that before and been so equally matched. I genuinely thought he was going to try and kill me babe. I won the fight....but honestly I would've been done had it gone on much longer."

That was the effect Mickey liked to leave on people. "You did well keeping up the act. What about what he told you before you two fought?"

"You told me that you wanted to kill Vincenzo before, so it didn't surprise me. I understand why you wouldn't tell me all of that. Finding out what happened to your uncles ex was surprising because she's just marked as missing. I knew she was dead and he killed her, but I didn't think about how he killed her and disposed of the body. It actually made me more scared of him than I already am."

"He won't hurt you, ok. You fighting him and holding your own was enough to make him respect you. You'll be fine as long as he doesn't find out that you're scared," I advised him. "He prays on fear and keep your guard up around him."

"I didn't think I had a choice but to fight him if I wanted to date you," Ashton winced as I touched his side. "I beat him, but it feels like I lost."

"That because you're not a fighter, Ashton."

"Did I prove that I manly enough for you?"

"You've always been manly enough for me."

Ashton let out a sigh of relief and sank back into the couch. What a fucking morning this was turning out to be. "Just let me hold you for a bit until I calm down."

Before I could agree, Ashton moved me into his lap and wrapped his muscular arms around me and inhaled deeply. He's scared and he really trying not to show it. It's so fucking cute, I might just die.

I want him.