Things You Never See

What are some things you never saw in your life? For me at least.. i never saw a kind person or i never saw myself having a true friend.. but it all changed when i spared a certain butcher or so i thought.

I am telling you, you have to come to our barbecue party, i want to show you that my cooking is just as good as my parenting.

You do realize that i am currently the most wanted human killer at the moment right now right? What if someone reports my location?

Don't worry no one will, it will just be me, you and my daughter.

Just asking, out of curiosity.. when did you change so much?

After realizing that i was so helpless and cowardly i decided to change and become a better person that my daughter would be proud of.. a person that was spared for a reason and not for merely information.

Wow, you really changed have you? Alright, i'll come but if you try to do something i'll steal all of your daughter's beef.

C'mon Hatch, you know she likes her beef.

Hahaha, while i know that there is a possibility that he might just be making me walk into a trap, i couldn't ignore those kind eyes that i was so jealous of, since i could only have them for a bit, i need to trust him if i am to accomplish my true goal.

(Next Day At The Barbecue Party:)

Hatch, your mind will be blown when you taste this brisket.

Haha, alright i'll take a bite.

A true friend, i never had one. It is a new experience to be laughing and enjoying some food with a friend while joking around. I never had anyone worth calling a friend, because i needed to cope with what had happened. During school i focused on studying and i never had coworker friends since i never had a job.

Say Hatch what are you going to do next?

You mean about hunting?

Yeah, about that. I mean you kill a ton of people, but have you thought what are you going to do when you accomplish your goal?

Yeah.

Hmm, i am curious. What are you going to do then?

I am going to kill myself.

"Wait what???"

Yeah, i will kill myself. Think about it i do not have any experience living normally. I kill technically for a living. Plus if i do end up being able to kill the biggest users i will be able to change the world i see fit. A story needs its end to become a masterpiece you know?

But you've got your whole future ahead of you, why not try your best to become better, to find a family a lover or something.

You, know..

I think about how nothing makes sense all the time. You look at your hands and at your feet and just realize how much life is a gift and also a curse. You can do anything but you are bound by meaningless things like laws and rules that are put in place. Imagine how beautiful life would be without all this nonsense. Humans evolved too much, look at how a simple pat on a dog's back makes it happy. While we humans need a job, we need to go to school, we need to find something to do for absolutely no reason. Why must we do meaningless things with our life if we are still going to die? Why? Why? Tell me. Why do i need to be wasting my time in this suffocating air. Why do i need to suffer when i can hear the birds chirp?

Hatch, i may not know you for a long amount of time, but i know that you are kind and caring. You may have spared me in the heat of the moment. But why did you come back? Why must you lie to yourself? Why must you try so hard to destroy yourself?

The reason i want to destroy myself is so that i can be reborn again. This is not about criminals this is about me doing something that i shouldn't do to attain something that i never had.

And that is?

Death.

Death??? What do you mean? You said you were going to kill yourself.

I am, but if i can't kill myself. In this road that i am making i'll find someone else to take my meaningless life. A sacrifice for myself. I should sacrifice myself to save myself. I want to feel alive. Just imagine how hard it is to be born dead.

Born dead you say? Hah, it means that i was alive when i died. You saved me though. We have been friends for a bit but i guess it's finally time for me to tell you my name.

Your name? Oh yeah, i forgot to ask you.

My name is.. Hatch Kibi.

What??????? What do you mean? There is no way? Surely right??

No, i am you. You are not me. I am you.

So.. I am talking to myself?

Yeah.

What about your daughter? My daughter?

She, is not real. She is an illusion you have created.

I started to laugh like a maniac. I truly think that this thing called life really hates me, you know? Why must fate hate me when fate created me?

Fate, oh fucked up tangled fate why do you hate me? What have i done wrong? What did i do for you to take my life away when i never had one?

Hahaha, this really is something that i never thought would happen. I don't even know what to do next. People drink and smoke when they get sad right? But what do i do when i am sad? I breathe air.

I am such a coward that i don't even have the balls to end it all. Why am i living an unfinished story?