Chapter 12 CHAPTER 12: Nightmare

I STRUGGLE and fight at the same time before I let him do his hidden dark desire. I can’t let him take my purity. This is the only thing I have. I lost everything. If I lose this, I don’t have any to face Vincent or my parent’s grave.

He stopped pinning me against the bed and started to remove his shirt. I need to obey him and take his trust so I can escape. He started to kiss my neck and I just let him do his glory. Even I am greeting my teeth right now.

He started to unbutton the dress I am wearing until the top of my bra shows. With his one hand, he stripped the bra, causing me to get hurt by his strong pull. It was shattered, and my whole chest was exposed in front of him. He was bored watching the scene. Until he reached out his hand and carelessly touched it, grab and squeezed as if he had just held it. He’s like a crazy dog starting to bite me. I can see how those eyes fired with lust as soon as he grabs my left br*ast.

I was hollwed by the pain. I immediately reached the lampshade and hitting him on his head, causing him to turn around and fall on the bed due to the force of my blow. I immediately got up and ran out of that room.

I didn’t know where I was going when I got out of the main door. Just wrapped the blanket I had pulled on the bed earlier while barefoot running to nowhere just to get out of the subdivision.

It is the middle of the night. I can hear the cricket roaring on the lawns. All I want now is to get away from the perv*rt Tommy that wanted to take advantage of me. He is worst than an animal.

I hugged myself as I now walked slowly. I was already out of the subdivision but my heartbeat was as fast as a horse’s pounding in my chest.

Where am I going now? I don’t know if I can ever go back home. If I walk until I get to Jenny’s house, I don’t know what time I’ll get there.

I feel sorry for myself, for my condition. I felt like a cat being chased away, deprived of food, and just kicked out of the house by its owner. I look like becoming a beggar. Maybe I'll just beg on the road…

There are almost no vehicles passing through the highway. It's quiet. Fear begins to rise in my chest. Not just out of concern that Tommy might have complied but there will be another Tommy might not be the only one interested in me.

It's all my fault. I did not lock the door. If I had just locked up and these will not happen to me.

I will never allow my purity to be given to any man. If it doesn't go to Vincent, then I won't entrust anyone. There is no man having the right to own me without gaining my respect.

I felt in those moments that I was so dirty when Tommy touched my bre*st, even though he didn't accomplish his purpose.

Exhausted and being frozen from the cool breeze of September. The rain continues pouring down. I am trying to feel the rain on my face and my skin. No one can hear me, no one is around and no one will help me. I am not worried about my life now after realizing I lost almost everything. I wonder where am I going now?

Walking nowhere, I just keep walking, hugging myself as if my arms are a blanket that can soothe the pain inside and outside. They said that the pain that can’t see an ordinary eye is the most painful pain from a painful battle. I am now believing in that theory. I am lost and I don’t know where should I go. I don’t even know how to heal the pain that I am feeling right now. A pain that people can see outside of me.

I don’t know how or why, but my feet keep me back to our house. I don’t even know what time is it until I can see the sun started to rise.

I went inside when I saw the door is open. Knowing that my rap*st is there. Knowing that he can sleep like nothing is happening. I am not even sure if he will not make this a big deal.

When I saw him, Tommy. I already have the hint that he’s not a good guy but I can’t say he is a bad guy though. I am sure, he did this because he felt like no woman can love him.

I stop walking when I reach the main door. I need to think.

I can’t stay here outside like a cat. I can’t be here all the time when this house belongs to me and my family. I need to reduce my anger. I need to calm myself and pretend nothing happens. I will look for him and apologize and pretend nothing happens so, the house will stay with me.

I was about to turn the doorknob when suddenly it opens.