I did not want to get out of bed. I had been awake all night, unable to sleep because I could not stop thinking of my brother. He had been in my mind since the day I was made aware of his death. How could I have slept, knowing that we were going to bury my brother in a few hours? It was the final goodbye and his death even seemed more real. I had started to believe that he was really gone forever and I would never see him again. I could never hear his voice again. I would never nag him again.