Part 10: The Chase Chapter 120: Hoesang (Reminiscing)

"Seon-Ho...I am scared... please be gentle with me..." "...have you ever seen a man without his clothes on?" I asked her with her back against my chest so she could feel what she was doing to me behind my trousers. "Of course I haven't!" "Have you touched a man in ways that you shouldn't?" "Absolutely not." "And you haven't kissed anyone either? Not even Dal?" "What if I say yes?" "Then you will get no mercy from me. Well?" "I am a virgin and you know it." So she was completely untouched; of course I knew but I just had to make sure that she wasn't corrupted by anyone in my father's household who kept staring at her all day long. She really was a virgin and I had to be more careful than I anticipated, it wasn't like I had this planned out or anything. But it wasn't the first time that I had this intense desire consuming every part of my body since I had taken Yeon in and I could no longer control myself, especially when we were alone for the very first time. And Yeon wasn't exactly stopping me either, so I more r less had her permission to do this, even though I still felt guilty about it to this day. If we were allowed to just be together in normal circumstances, I would have definitely done everything right and waited for marriage to take her virginity and plan for children properly. But instead I succumbed to a fear that I was slowly developing at the time, which was that Yeon could be taken away from me anytime or I myself could have lost my own life if her brother messed up and my father directed his anger out on me. But I...i just wanted to have Yeon for myself in a way that no-one else would ever be able to.

"Seon-Ho? I haven't done this before. Please tell me what I should do, so it doesn't hurt?" "What makes you think that I know anything about this?" I managed to mumble before I lost myself in her scent that was infused in her hair before I began to undress her. "I will find out if you are lying or not, so beware, or I shall kill everyone who has ever touched you." "Are you being serious?" I knew I was starting to sound like a goddamned maniac, but having her tremble at my words made my flare up inside, I was completely consumed by her smell, her taste, her milky white skin, and I needed to do something about it before I exploded...

"Seon-Ho? Are you even listening to me? I wanted to thank you for saving me from the palace jail by bringing over a new robe for you." "Is this why you asked me to come to the brothel? I have work to be getting on with, you know." I snapped at her as I downing my fourth bottle of liquor in the space of an hour to get the memory of my taking Yeon's virginity from haunting me. "I want you to straddle me, come over here." Having her sit like this in our most intimate moment so far and seeing her half-naked, in a position that no-one has or ever will get the chance to just aroused me even more. "Do you feel that? That is happening to me because of you, and I need you to take care of it for me..." I remembered that she nodded rather shyly and her face was running pleasantly pink into a much deeper shape of red that really suited her. And she was still do decibel innocent every time that we were intimate like that, it was like she was letting me relive our first time over and over again. "Be still, do not move and do not speak, unless you want this to hurt..." "Please do not hurt me." "Don't you ever give me a reason to do so and I promise you that I will never hurt you..."

"But I personally sewed them for you and it is my very firs time doing something domesticated like this. I pricked my fingers so many times when I made this for you and I ..." "Please do not waste my time like this from now on, I have my own plans to get on with as soon as possible." "I will give you and update as soon as I can. You have already drank enough liquor..." "That I am funding? In your brothel?" "...please just try it and see if it fits you for my sake." "I am homeless and miserable right now, I am in no mood to try on any clothes. You should maybe just choose someone else who can collaborate with you and give you the life of luxury that you want instead of pandering to someone unless like me..."

"Pandering? What on earth do you mean? Magnificent clothing, good food, a lofty status and more, you have it all, so why would I want to detach myself from this? You fund my brothel well, what more could I want? I just wanted to repay you with a small kindness, on top of everything else that I owe you for helping me out. And I..." "I what?" "I kept on recalling everything that you have ever said to me when I was in the jail cell, that is what kept me going whilst I was in there." "What is that supposed to mean?" "I guess that most women in the world are ashamed to confess their love..." "Hui-Jae..." "...but why should it be concealed? After everything that we have been through together." "Which is?" "What do you mean? I haven't disappeared into thin air like Yeon has, right? But I wonder where she can go and with what support since the death of her brother..." Just what the hell was I supposed to say to that? She was right, Yeon had disappeared for over a month and I had too much work going on here in the capital to just leave and find her. One of the physicians had a relative that was on board with the disaster relief plan due to his demise after the whole debacle with the Empress framing Yeon, he was pulled out and I was pulled in to work on Yeon's plans without her. And it was because I had become intricately tied to the Seo's in the palace, which was working out better for me than I could have ever anticipated. And as for the flaws that Yeon pointed out in her work, i was already well aware of them when I took a sneak peak of her plan in my mother's old quarters, which was now ruined by the Empresses men who raided the Nam manor that day. So I didn't really need her for the plan...but nevertheless, I couldn't stop thinking about this marriage plan that I had for Yeon. Bringing her back to he capital to work on her plan with me would put her in a good light and it would plant a seed in the Emperor's mind to let me marry her before he started getting ideas and chose a bride for me. If I was going to get that girl's help in my plans, she had to become my main wife and not a lousy concubine that I might have to make Hui-Jae. Or better yet, I can get her help before I married Yeon and never look back on this phase of my life again.

"...my heart skips with joy for you and I am full of gratitude. Don't you feel the same way?" I didn't, not anymore. But who knows, maybe I could use her to make Yeon jealous and bring her back to me. "Why are you not saying anything? Am I not beautiful enough? Or do I not do enough for you?" The most ironic thing about this whole situation was the fact that Yeon was turning out to be everything that I originally thought that Hui-Jee was. And because I grew up with Yeon, I knew that she wasn't unless, she was far from it in fact. But the image of herself that she showed back then, which i was now having doubts about, I was beginning to feel that way about Hui-Jee. I thought she was educated, but she was in fact quite lazy in her studies whereas Yeon always had her nose in a book every single day and educated herself to the best of her ability. There was always an essay, debate and other critical commentary with every single book or article that she wrote and she always ended the day with practising her calligraphy long before I brought her to my father's home. She was perfectly domesticated as well and knew which season went with which teas, snacks and meals. And now that I am thinking about food...

"You haven't cooked for me for a while now, ever since my father's arrest if I recall. If you want me to stay, then I need a complete meal with tea before I go back to the palace tonight." The look on her face was begging to unsettle me, more than I thought. All the times that she had given me food in her brothel's utensils, whose food was it? For goodness sake, had she really dumbed herself down this much in Hwi's absence? The food could have been poisoned or drugged for all I knew, and she was just feeding me everything she gave me without question? What on earth had happened to this woman? Why did she loose her bright spark that I was attracted to when I first met her? I had to admit now that without her intelligence, she really wasn't all that beautiful to me anymore. maybe I did naturally appreciate a woman's mind more than I cared to admit. "...we shouldn't be humiliated by our lowly statuses anymore. We should start talking about a more intimate alliance between us to resolve this issue and..." "and who else?" "Excuse me?" "You know exactly what I am talking about. How many concubines will you give me? So we can really pull ourselves from our lowly positions?" "Do you want to take on concubines?" "Concubines are a sign of wealth and prestige, especially from noble families. And it would rehabilitate your image as a brothel madame to become the wife of a palace official. So, how many will you give me?" "It all depends on how much you love me." She got me there and she knew it. I couldn't say anything to her, so I had no choice but to try on her robe, which instantly pricked me with almost 100 needles that she had sown into the robe.

"I made this just for you, so you cannot take this off. Does it hurt? Does it remind me of how you betrayed me, not only in the palace, but when you got too close to Seo Hwi's sister? Because I have felt this pain for a very long time. But although there was some pain, there was some happiness as well; because this sort of pain was given to me by you. I wanted to share this with you, to remind you that I will not share you with any other woman, I mean it. And this robe will remind you of that sentiment, forever."

Her white teeth were showing through her thickly painted red lips and it was killing me; if i wasn't being tortured by my father, I had now found- stolen a woman off of my best friend who seemed to have the same plans for me as he did. To her, I was just an object that she could use to build herself up whilst she would surely drag me down, but this was to be expected I guess. I could tell she was offended by the concubine suggestion and I had no idea why since we both knew she wasn't really in love with me. But what I did know that when I mentioned the same thing to Yeon a few weeks ago, she couldn't even look me in the eyes and always found an excuse to walk away from me. She couldn't look me in the eyes when it came to other woman, so let us see how she will react when she has no choice to be faced with such a predicament. Would she run away from me once again when I found her? Or would she pick a fight with me because of it? What better way to lure a woman that you are trying to seduce with pure jealousy?