Burying The Past Part 3

My feet covered the vomit with dirt and a rainbow of stones. A nice mound of dirt rested on what was once inside me. Lost, it seemed like a continuous factor in my existence.

I supposed the ones that had nothing kind to say knew better than to step up there, but you knew who those were as they stood there with judgment and a sense of satisfaction on their faces. Then it was Annie's turn to speak.

I stood behind the tree listening to her tearful voice, whole my eyes peeked at the procession.

"Old Granny, I knew the day had to come, but I didn't expect it so suddenly. You were just here a few hours ago. You were just here…" She paused and almost fell to the ground in pain. Joel hurried to her side to provide her with the support she needed to hold herself up.

"You can do this." I heard him saying faintly.

She took a few breaths. I couldn't look at her myself without just passing out, so I pulled my head back around and just listened instead.

She continued. "You know, when mom and dad passed away, I didn't think I could ever go on living. I wanted to go with them. I thought of my baby brother, and it terrified me. I didn't know how to be a mom to him, but I felt like I had to learn quickly. But all the while, I frightened, broken, lost, fragile, and then you came along with Old Granny like some magical guardian angel sent to save us. And I guess you were actually magical. I remember feeling so relieved to have someone show us this amount of care, but I also scared to allow myself to be cared for again because what if I lost you too?"

She paused and broke down again. Joel rubbed her back. "But you became another mother to me. Another mother I desperately needed, and you never tried to replace my actual parents. You understood how much I needed to keep their memories alive and you helped us to do so. Do you remember?"

"I'll be forever grateful for you, Old Granny. Thanks for helping me live again, and thanks for giving Nils the kind of nurturing I myself didn't know how to give. Thanks for nurturing me, thanks for teaching me to nurture. We had our moments of conflict, like all children do with the ones they love, but you never abandoned us. I love you. I'll miss you so, so much."

I looked around, so I saw Joel walking with her away from the spotlight.

I knew now that they were going to start looking for me, since it would soon be my turn to speak.

I didn't want them to see that I had disappeared, so I stepped out and rejoined the crowd quickly before I was called upon. Their eyes fell on me. Expectation was laid on my shoulders.

I approached the center and spoke. "I don't remember much about my parents. I miss them dearly still, but for me, it was you, Old Granny, you and Annie. You are the ones I remember loving me the way I needed to be loved. And as many of you looking on right now may think that she purposely gave me this curse, as much as you came by last night demanding answers."

"I know Old Granny would never do anything to harm me intentionally, not with how much she showed me she loved me. Yes, she had her moments when she was cold and it seemed as though she stated some things without feelings. She simply spoke matter-of-factly about the facts, and one of those facts was that she loved us. She was always there for us whenever we needed her. She never, ever turned us away. I know this curse is something she never could've prevented. It was destiny. Just like this here, death is destiny. Her leaving us was destiny."

I sniffled and continued. "Even in death, she imparted wisdom as I watched her fade away. I saw nothing but bravery and understanding in her that I aspire to when it's time for me to go. Thank you, Old Granny for preparing us for the journeys that always lay ahead of us. I love you and I'll miss you. I wish you didn't have to go so soon. But I hope now you can finally rest. You've done a lot in this life. Goodbye."