Now, finally, it was my turn to go, to depart from my village and make the journey to the Purple Mountain.
It felt like my legs lost feeling while they carried me around the house in seeming bliss.
The roll of my tongue tensed. My throat was hard, yet soft to the touch of my fidgeting hand.
This was new for me. I was leaving. I was going on my own, but unnerving was the emotion that followed me in the depths of the shining gleam of the morning's embrace.
This was the last time I was going to see this place. It was a harrowing feeling, knowing what was going to take place and what I had to do. Fear riddled through my bones. I breathed in and tried to call myself. Food, I went to the table and phoned a bowl of vegetables and ground provisions steamed to perfection. A smile raised out of my lurking apprehension. My sister always done her best for me, no matter the struggle or unforeseen future lay ahead of her. She kept smiling. I sucked in air for my nose and straightened up.
Things we're going to change, but I needed to look forward to the end. I took the bowl and went to my room. Once I reached my room, I got my diary.
Delightful soft mushes of potatoes, callaloo stems crushed in the sweet juice mixed with the bitter of tomatoes and star apple. I ate while looking at the shimmering purple flower. It never looked dry. Such a thing was amazing the more I thought about it. I wondered how was this possible. Was this a magical flower?
It seemed like a reasonable thought. Even now, I was cursed, so with that fact, it was likely an influential power was working in the shadows. What had caused my curse?
My lips twisted in wonder at what was going on. Was this flower involved with the curse that had befallen this family? Mize greased the soft green stem that led to the slim spikes that peeled like a banana under the full bloom of the purple petals.
They shivered under my gaze, as if they were afraid of me. I had to figure this out. The mountain held the secrets, so going there will reveal the truth to me.
My hand moved with measured poise and swift along the parchment paper of the quaint diary. Memories swept into the link with new liquid, yet to dry. My future not set in stone and I very poised to make everything in my fashion.
Like storytelling, I could easily write about the life that I wanted. It was an interesting thought, but I never entertained the idea that everything that I experienced until now wasn't beautiful, my family, my friends, the lives we lived in this village. I wrote the lasting memories of my time with Grandma. I need references to the burial, but in all honesty, it was not a memory that I wanted to record in bad faith.
It was time to say my goodbyes, never knowing if I'll ever see them again. I gathered my diary and the dead flower received from Old Granny, clutching it to my chest. "Wish me luck." I whispered to them, hoping that it would reach her. It's do or die now, literally. It was time to get some more answers or die trying.
It was early in the morning when I decided to head out and I knew I couldn't just sneak away, not after yesterday, even if that meant facing Joel and letting him know that I wasn't just planning to go fishing today. I was actually making my trek, and I wanted to do it on my own, without him, which meant that he didn't really get to his day with me as I promised, but he would be okay.
Stepping out into the living room for what was probably going to be my last time, so I faced Annie and Joel.
"Good morning, guys," I said in a somber, but assured voice. "It's time."
"Time for what?" Joel asked.
"He's leaving us today, aren't you, kid?" Annie said, holding back tears.
"Oh! Is that today?" Joel turned. "Let me go and get ready!"
I said, "Actually, I have been meaning to talk to you about this…"
Joel looked at me, an eyebrow upturned. I continued. "I need to make the journey on my own"
"Wha... what? But you're just a kid."
"What? I thought I was a man." I tried to lighten the mood, but there was no lightning about this. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, like I had already died.
"Yeah, but… I thought this was our day to hang out so I could say my goodbyes."
"I know and I'm sorry I had to do this to you, it's just don't think you would care at first and I already made my plans and when I mentioned it, you got so excited, I didn't know how to tell you."
"Why would you think I didn't care?" Joel actually got choked up. I almost winced. Am I shifted from me to her, then he held his head back with a twisting frown? Joel laid his hands on his hips. "Don't you know I love you like my own brother, little man?" He continued. "I was excited to see you grow up, make an impact on the man you would become, which is why I would be so tough. I don't know. I wanted to be some sort of role model, I guess. I wanted the best for you."
He cleared his throat as he felt the tears burn at the back of it. Joel was too much of a manly man to cry, so he jumped up and straightened himself up. I watched him walk back and forth as he talked. "Now, that's never going to happen."