Goodbye Part 2

Never? I thought. I mean, I knew, but I was still holding out hope. It was all I had right now; it was what was driving me on my journey today.

"I'm so sorry Nils," Joel was still talking. "Can I have a hug?"

I stared at Joel in shock, but I understood. This was not a time for being too proud.

"Sure," I said as I walked toward him, wrapping my arms around his body that was probably triple my size. My hands never touched each other as they came around in a hug. Out of the corner, I just heard an outburst of sobs and I turned around to see Annie watching us, her hand over her chest. When my eyes met hers, she smiled through the tears and stretched her hands out as well.

I ran over to her and she hugged me tightly; I squeezed her back. She planted kisses all over my head and face. As I said, this was not the time for being too proud. I was not too manly for this; I needed this affection to feel safe, to strengthen me on my journey today.

She had not realized that I had not prepared for that. I have muddled my thoughts since the morning glow. "Actually, no."

"That's okay, sweetheart," she said as she kissed me once more on the forehead, then released me. Annie turned to prepare something for me to carry. "You can't go on such a long journey with nothing in your tummy." She asked. She was buying time, and I was okay with it. I was anxious to leave right away, but my tummy was also in knots with nerves, so I didn't mind not leaving immediately.

"Yes, thank you," I said.

"Great." She smiled, knowing that she only managed to buy a small amount of time that would be over in the blink of an eye, and she couldn't hide from reality anymore. "I'll pack you something else too to carry."

Joel entered the kitchen with one of his old, stiff fur coats, one of his favorites. "Here." He handed it to me. I looked up at him. "Take it," he said.

"What for?"

"You'll probably get cold in the night. You'll need something to keep you warm," he said, avoiding eye contact to keep himself from crying.

I took it and smiled. "Thank you."

Annie watched me throughout the entire time I ate breakfast, every bite I took, every sip of tea, while she ruffled my snow-white hair and sighed. Finally, I was done. They walked with me as I journeyed toward Bella and Rowan. Word had spread among the villagers, so on my way over there, people made their way over to me, bearing gifts.

I was given more food from some villagers, handcrafted jewelry to remember them by charms, crystals, and animal teeth for good luck. Some of them blessed me with incense and sage. It made me happy, not just for me, but for seeing the support of the village. How everyone came out, knowing that my family and friends would not be left alone, they had the support of the village.

By the time I had gotten to Rowan's house, Bella and her family were already there waiting for me. They heard I was on my way. I stood in the doorway with way too many things to carry and so I offered Joel and Annie as well as the rest some of my gifts.

But to my surprise, Rowan and Bella both walked out holding the most beautiful scarf I had seen. Bella's and Rowan's dad headed out to help them hunt the animal from which the scarf came and they all worked together to create the most comfortable, delicately fashioned scarf I had ever seen.

"We made this for you. To keep you warm. I hope you like it," Bella said.

"Yeah." Rowan nodded in the corner, tears streaming down his face.

"Thanks guys."

"We love you Nils," Bella's parents said.

Everyone agreed. With all the love in the room, Joel failed once more to hide his emotions as we all burst into tears.

We had our last hugs, said our goodbyes, and then that was it. I was off, on my own, towards hope.