A hero recovers

I ran through the halls, looking for anybody who had seen Loki.

But no matter who I asked, they all had the same answer. It was as if Loki had disappeared into thin air.

It had been hours since I had left the all-mother's side, and before I knew it, I was informed that supper was served. Loki would most likely be in the dining hall, and I would meet him after bringing the all-mother her food.

The cook had been so kind to prepare the food as I had requested. I knew we would be served wild boar, but I had asked the chef if it was possible to prepare some hare for the queen. It was her favorite, and I knew she could use some cheering up.

The trey was quite warm in my hands as I carried it into the healing chamber.

I freed one hand and knocked on the large wooden door before entering. I pushed open the door with my back.

"All-mother, I had the chef prepare you some delic-," my sentence was cut off.

I was frozen with fear at the sight in front of me as I witnessed Laufey, the king of Jotunheim himself as well as one of his minions, walking towards the all-mother. He was full of anger, for sure. What was happening? Why was he here, in Odin's healing chambers?

The all-mother took down the first frost giant, but Laufey was stronger, hitting the all-mother with enough force to throw her to the floor.

I couldn't just stand and watch as Laufey killed the king and queen of Asgard. I had taken an oath before becoming royalty. I was still a fighter and I had promised to protect the royal family with my life.

I dropped the hare which caused a distraction. Laufey was no longer walking towards the all-father, but looking at me. A dagger appeared in my hand, the feeling of the cold metal in my hand was something I had missed. It had been years since I was allowed to spar with anybody. People were scared I was too fragile seeing as I had been deemed royalty, but I was more than some doll and always had been.

"You made a grave mistake coming here little Asgardian," Laufey said, mocking my size.

I positioned myself as I had once been taught by the stronger and older knights. They had been great teachers when I was younger, and truthfully, they just wanted to see me beat Thor in a fight, so I had learned to beat someone bigger than myself.

"I may be smaller, but I took an oath to protect the king with my life," I said.

He was so sure that the frost giants would win despite the fact the palace had thousands of guards and Laúfey had only brought one lousy minion. No, he was wrong if he thought Asgard would be his.

"Then, today will be your last day amongst the living," he said.

Laufey charged at me, but I managed to duck before he could hit me. I knew that if he touched me, my skin would turn into ice and I would be severely injured. It was a game of cat and mice and I was playing for my life.

I was facing Laufey's back and stabbed him where his kidney would be if he had been Asgardian. I heard him roar in pain as he swung around. I barely managed to duck the second time he flung at me.

My dagger was still in his back and having to duck so suddenly made me lose my balance, fighting was difficult while pregnant.

I fell to the floor. I could see Laufey walking toward me, he had a devilish smile on his face, as if he had been crowned king of all of the nine realms. This was a creature full of hatred and hungry for power.

"I must say, I do not understand why someone would die of a king who caused suffering and bloodshed amongst all the nine realms. You are protecting a killer, little Asgardian." Laufey had no idea what he was talking about. Odin had done it for the lesser evil.

I crawled backwards as fast as I could, but I soon realized I had cornered myself. My back bumped into the all-father's bed and there was no possibility of escape.

Laufey was directly in front of me, I could feel how cold his skin was despite the fact he was still two feet away from me. He bent down, our eyes meeting. I was face to face with death. This was how I would die, and my only regret was not finding Loki to tell him about our daughter.

Laufey grabbed onto my neck, and my skin turned to ice, becoming so cold that it felt like my throat was burning. I couldn't speak, and the cold was slowly closing my airway. Breathing was becoming difficult.

"You will die for no reason, Asgardian, and all of the nine realms shall know of your meaningless death," Laufey laughed.

I tried my best to wiggle out of his grip, but he didn't let go until he was sure the frostbite had set all around my neck and throat, making it almost impossible for me to breathe or swallow my own spit.

Laufey then threw me onto the floor, not too far from where the all-mother had been thrown to the floor. I tossed and turned, trying to breathe, to find any way to clean my airway, but it was useless I couldn't do anything.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Laufey walking over to the all-father. I felt a warm hand on my throat, it was Frigga. She was still laying on the floor with me, but her hands gently found their way around my throat, healing my airway a slight bit. Her powers were drained, I knew of that, but she still managed to make me breathe again.

Neither she nor I could do anything. We had been defeated, laying on the ground and suffering like cockroaches mushed by a boot. It would only be a second before the all-father was dead, and Laufey would without a doubt kill Frigga and me afterwards.

"... you may know, your death came at the hands of Laufey." I barely heard his words. I didn't want to witness the death of the all-father, so I focused on taking the last few breaths before my time would come.

Then, all of a sudden, a bright flash of light erupted, and Laufey yelled in pain. I did not know what was going on, I was frightened and hoping for a quick death.

"And your death came by the son of Odin," I heard a familiar voice say.

Loki? Was he back? Had he saved us? The thought of not having to die made my eyes fill with tears. I would get to see another day, grow old with Loki, and tell him about our daughter. I couldn't hold back, and the tears were streaming down my cheeks.

I saw as the all-mother rose from the floor and made her way to my beloved.

"Loki, you saved us," she exclaimed. I could see her hugging him, thanking him for coming to our rescue.

"L-Loki," I stuttered. My throat was still severely damaged and I could barely speak.

I saw as he let go of his mother confused, had he not noticed me when he came in and killed Laufey? His eyes finally fell on me, and I saw as tears began forming in his eyes. Loki rushed over to me and kneeled on my side, placing my head on his lap.

He tried to smile, but I could see the sorrow in his eyes.

"What happened mother?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of me.

"She fought against Laufey, protecting your father," the all-mother responded.

Loki looked distraught. He was witnessing me, the love of his life, barely breathing, my neck turning blue from the contact with a frost giant.

"Call the guards! She needs medical help!" he shouted at his mother.

It was so unlike him to show this many emotions, showing how afraid he was. I couldn't bear seeing him like that. I reached out to him and pulled him into a gentle kiss.

His lips were warm, unlike the cold feeling spreading in my body. I wanted to kiss him for the remaining few minutes I had before I descended to Valhalla.

I heard the door push open with such power I thought we were under attack once more. I did not see who the intruder was, in reality, I did not care. All I could focus on was Loki's lips on mine, making me feel loved one last time.

All the words I wanted to say were gone, I had nothing to say, although I wanted to. I wanted to tell him about our child, I wanted to apologize for not realizing that he loved me all those years, to wish I had never married Thor, but I remained silent.

Loki pulled away from me and looked to see if the guards had come to help me onto the medical floor.

I tried turning to look at the door, but the sight made my blood colder than my throat. No, it couldn't be. Thor was standing in the doorway, hugging Frigga. What was he doing here? How had he gotten home if he was exiled? Heimdal had broken his promise to his king.

"Why don't you tell them, how you sent the destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?" He was bitter. He was angry, and he seemed to be angry at Loki, but why? Loki had done nothing wrong.

Loki moved away from me, placing my head gently back onto the floor.

"Well, it must have been enforcing father's last command," Loki said, trying to defend himself.

Loki couldn't have sent the destroyer. He was innocent. Thor was taking out his anger on his own brother without any proof Loki had committed any crime.

"You're a talented liar, brother. Always have been," Thor spat at his brother.

I didn't have the strength to keep up with what was going on. The conversation became a blur and it became difficult to breathe again. I tried coughing, thinking something was stuck in my throat, but that didn't help.

My eyes were watering, and I could barely see. None of the princes were in the room anymore, only the king, the queen, and myself. Then, five guards entered the chamber along with a healer. They tried their best to recover my ability to breathe on the spot, but it didn't take long for me to black out at the lack of oxygen.

I woke up in one of the beds on the medical floor. No one was in the room, but beautiful flowers were placed in a vase next to my bed. Loki must have placed them there. He was so thoughtful.

I had trouble remembering what had happened, other than Laufey wrapping his cold hand around my neck, and then, Loki's warm and soft lips on mine.

Where was Loki? I needed to see him, to tell him that I was okay. I tried getting out of bed, but as soon as I tried moving I felt a sharp pain in my throat. I fell back into the bed from the pain. My hand moved up to my throat, my skin felt rough and dry, nothing like anywhere else on my body.

A nurse walked past the door, I tried my best to get her attention, but she was too busy to notice me.

I looked back at the beautiful flowers placed next to me. Loki had brought me those, right? He always brought me flowers, even though these were red roses and he never brought me red flowers. It was just a coincidence.

"How are you, my dear?" I heard a voice say.

I turned to see the all-mother standing in the doorway, looking worried at me. Finally, a familiar and calming face.

"All-mother," I greeted her with a shaky voice. It still hurt a bit to talk, but not as much as it had hurt once Laufey laid his hands on me.

Frigga walked over to my bed and sat by my side. She took my hand, stroking it gently with her thumb. It was good to see her alive and healthy, it meant that me almost dying wouldn't have been a waste of life.

"Where is Loki?" I whispered.

I saw the all-mother's facial expression filled with sorrow. It made me concerned. Had something happened to my beloved? Had he been attacked by frost giants after he left me?

"I wish I was not the bearer of bad news my dear. But, something happened, and I am not sure what, but the rainbow bridge was destroyed, and Loki fell into the void. He is no longer with us," she said, her eyes filling with tears.

No. No no no no no no no, this was some cruel joke, Loki couldn't be dead, he simply couldn't. I felt tears falling down my cheeks as I shook my head, denying every piece of information she had just given me. The sudden movements made my throat hurt intensely, but I couldn't stop shaking my head, as if I believed her words weren't true unless I stopped shaking.

More tears fell, I couldn't contain myself. I was crying, the man I had loved was gone, and I didn't even have a chance to tell him about our daughter.

Our daughter? Was she okay? I had suffered a great deal of damage but she had to be okay, right?

I put my hand on my stomach, to my horror there wasn't even a slight bump, as if someone had removed my child. It made me cry even more. Not only had I lost the man of my dreams, but I had also lost our daughter. I was left completely on my own.

"I am sorry, my dear, but your daughter took a lot of damage when your airway was closed off and there was no way for the nurses to save her," I heard the queen say in between sobs.

"This isn't fair. This - This isn't fair!" I started yelling.

I tried to get out of my bed, I couldn't take laying on the medical floor much longer. I needed to get to my chambers, to Loki's and my chambers. He would be waiting for me in there, I was sure.

I only managed to walk to the door before a nurse had run to me and sedated me. The serum made me faint almost instantly and everything became a blur once more.

I woke up in the same bed, wearing the same clothes and with the same flowers on my side. They looked lifeless now, they had been sitting here for a few days. I knew that even though I was unsure how long I had been sleeping.

I heard steps approaching my room. I had given up on the hope that Loki would come and keep me company. Thinking about him hurt me too much. Someone knocked on the wall, trying to get my attention.

Turning my head I saw none other than Thor leaning up against the wall, eyes full of sorrow, just like when the all-mother had come to visit me. He didn't interest me, and I turned away from him almost as soon as I saw his face.

I heard him sigh at my silence.

"Come now, (Y/N), it is time for you to come home with me. I brought you a nice dress to wear, one of your favorites," he tried tempting me.

I had no intention of going back with him, to share a bed together, even though we were once again legally married since he was no longer exiled. I heard him walking towards my bed and placing the dress on my bed.

Of course, the dress was red. His color. Red was a dreadful color. It was the color of blood resulting from violence, and without blood, there would be death. Death like the one my Loki had suffered.

I felt Thor reaching over to kiss me on the forehead, but I moved, dodging his lips. I was never going to let another man touch me. Loki was my one and only, and even though he and I had not been married, I had made a promise to him. A promise to love him and only him. My heart belonged to no man but Loki Odinson.

"I shall give you some time to get dressed, but you cannot live in the medical wing," Thor sighed.

I didn't bother responding. I had no intention of wasting my voice on him, he was far from worthy of my love.

His footsteps indicated that he was leaving the room once more. I could either do as he said, or try to have myself admitted even longer, but that would be foolish. The talented nurses and healers needed more room for those who were actually injured. There wasn't room for me here.

Unwillingly, I got out of bed and put on the dress. I could change the color, could I not? I had been made into a widow recently and lost my child as well, so it would not be unreasonable if I wore black instead of that horrible red color that only reminded me of what I had lost and what my future once again would turn into.

I used the little amount of power I had in me at that moment to change my dress from red to black. It suited me more than its former red color.

My neck was still bruised. I suspected that it would never recover properly, that I would forever bear the mark of that horrible day, but the public was never to know.

My beauty was more valued than my combat skills at the moment, the public and the servants that wandered the halls of the palace would not get a chance to point out my flaws, and I wouldn't allow them the pleasure.

With a slight flick of my hand, I had cast an illusion, hiding the large blue mark on my skin. It was as if nothing had ever happened. The only people that would ever know of my mark would be Thor, the all-mother, and the nurse who had looked after me, but I would make sure they never told another living soul.

I looked lovely, black was an excellent color, it brought out the shine in my eyes that in reality was sorrow. But others did not need to know.

The time had come. I was to walk out of this room and face the entire world, pretend like I was happy that my husband had returned, and not break down over my loss. It would be difficult, I knew of that.

Thor opened the door before I could leave the room myself. I saw his expression change as soon as he noticed the color of my dress.

"You are wearing black?" he asked. Did he not know why someone wore those colors when they lost their loved ones?

"Yes, Thor, I am allowed to grieve over those I have lost," I answered. It was difficult to not break down on the spot, but I hid my emotions and gave him a somewhat polite response.

He didn't answer me, which was what I had hoped for. The silence was better than a meaningless apology.

We left the medical floor in complete silence. I didn't know what time it was, but very few people were in the halls, so maybe others were in the middle of a meal. The few servants that passed us dared not say a single word. They simply bowed and tried not to make eye contact.

All too fast, we had reached the living quarters. Thor stopped in front of his chambers, expecting me to stop as well. I wanted to continue forward, to say goodbye to him and go to Loki's chambers. My chambers. But I couldn't. Thor was once again my husband, and I was to follow his every word, so I stopped.

I didn't look at my husband, I couldn't. I was becoming emotional once more, fidgeting with the ring Loki had given me. It was the last of my belongings that reminded me of him.

"I shall have a maid fetch your belongings. Why not go and make yourself comfortable in our chambers? I shall have the cook prepare you some dinner," Thor said.

He really thought so little of me, that I could not gather my own things, that I could not eat supper in the dining hall with the rest of the royal family? He thought of me as a more fragile being than Loki did when we were intimate.

"Thor, I am more than capable to fetch my own belongings, and frankly, I would rather face the crowd now than later. I am not a broken object, I am the crown princess of Asgard, I have survived at the hand of Laufey, and lost my betrothed as well as my child, but I am not a coward," I said, not once looking at him in the eyes.

I heard him sigh, but I did not need his permission to eat in the dining hall. Not waiting for his response I made my way out of the living quarters. I heard his footsteps following me.

Of course, this man could not leave me alone.

I had made my way to the dining hall. In front of the door stood two guards, but as soon as I placed myself in front of them I saw one of the guards' reactions change into the one of a relieved man.

"(Y/N), you're alive. Thank the gods, I was so worried for you," Austri said.

My frown turned into a soft smile at his words.

The other guard nudged Austri for his inappropriate behavior the second he saw Thor following behind me, and they almost turned into lifeless men, standing as still as possible, looking like there was no one inside of the armor they carried.

My smile disappeared when I noticed Thor, he had no right to disturb my conversation.

"May we enter?" Thor asked the other guard.

"Yes, sir," he said as he and Austri moved away from the door so we could pass.

The large door was pushed open and it was clear that everyone in the room stopped eating the moment they noticed me. No one said a word, not even the queen, as I walked to the middle of the floor.

Then I saw Odin rise from his chair which was placed higher up than anybody else, just to show that he was the man with the most power.

"My daughter-in-law, (Y/N) has returned from the medical floor," he proclaimed, and I heard the people around me whispering to the person next to them.

"She was injured while defending my honor, almost dying at the hands of the king of the frost giants, sacrificing her own child for the better of the kingdom. I shall forever be grateful to her," he added.

The mention of the frost giants made the public talk even more. Some were concerned for their safety, others did not believe that I had fought against Laufey, but they had no right to say it out loud. Then after a bit, people began applauding me for saving the king. Some even began yelling that I should be celebrated and that I should be named the heir to the throne instead of Thor.

I knew those comments pissed him off, and it somehow made me feel a slight bit better, but it still felt wrong that I was being celebrated while Loki should be the one deemed a hero. He was the one to kill Laufey, not me. I missed him so much.

Odin promised the people that a feast was in order and that my victory over Laufey would be celebrated like no other, but I didn't care for such promises.

I needed to eat, I could feel how my stomach was growling. How long had it been since I had gotten a proper meal? Maybe the last time Loki brought me breakfast, the morning we were intimate.

My eyes were filled with tears, but I forced myself not to cry, not in front of the people.

I took a seat next to the all-mother as I forced a smile on my face. I felt her warm hand on my shoulder as I turned to her.

"It is good to have you back, my dear," she said with a soft smile.

I smiled politely at her as the servants brought Thor and me our dinners. He was of course placed on the right side of Odin as the heir to the throne. He didn't deserve such a title. He was an immature child who needed to be controlled.

"Could I perhaps ask that the bruises there were left on my body stays between you and me, my queen?" I asked her after making sure no servants were near to listen in on our conversation.

The queen nodded in response, assuring me that it would never be spoken about again unless we were completely alone.

After the dinner, Odin announced the date of the feast to celebrate me. It would be in three days, and he wanted all of his people to attend in my honor. It was pointless. I myself didn't plan on attending, so why were others forced to?

Odin gave everyone permission to leave, and the moment he did, I stood up to leave. I had no intention of letting Thor escort me back to his chambers.

"(Y/N), is the dinner over?" I heard someone ask behind me.

I turned to see Austri standing at the door without his armor on.

"I, uh, my shift is over, and I thought you could use some company," he said as he scratched his arm.

"That would be very nice, would you be up for some evening training?" I asked.

It had been years since I had been in the ring, and I needed to get ahold of my emotions somehow. I wasn't pregnant anymore, so the all-father and the servants couldn't possibly look down on me for training. I had almost lost my life, I needed to learn to defend myself again.

"It would be my honor," Austri said as he bowed, making fun of the servants that I had grown accustomed to. It made me laugh, taking away my worries for a while.

Austri and I made our way to the training facilities. I could tell we weren't alone, I could hear people walk behind us. Was it Thor following me to make sure I wouldn't collapse? I did not care at the moment, he was not worthy of my time.

I used my magic to transform into my old training clothes. Darkblue armor with black roses painted different places on my suit and my sword in with the same dark blue color at the shaft. Finally, I got to wear my battle gear.

I pulled my hair up in a tight bun, making sure I would not be blinded by any loose strands of hair. It would be one of the biggest mistakes a warrior could do, other than trusting the enemy.

One day, I would get revenge on whoever was responsible for my Loki's death, and my vengeance would be sweet. I needed to be prepared for when that day came.

The old me was dead as if it was me who had fallen into the void. Where there once had been reasoning, there now was sadness and regret, and where there had been love there was hatred.

Loki would be avenged, I would make sure of it.