the secret attraction of girl
Foreword: Your Life Transformed
When it comes to romance women speak a radically different language than men. Men are from Mars, women from Venus and all that jazz. It's the oldest joke in the book, but what we keep forgetting is that with patience any language can be learned.
And this book is your Rosetta Stone.
When you understand how to speak this "secret language," you will tap into instant attraction, a deep connection, and even feelings of arousal in a matter of seconds. While mastering female attraction might be thrilling enough, this book is intended to do far more than just improve your love life. As a condensed version of our intensive training courses, this book can change your entire life. I hear your chuckle, but think about it.
The average guy goes through life never truly understanding women and never becoming the best, most attractive version of himself. He doesn't have a lot of dating options, so he settles for what he can get and then lives a life of regret. And it's not just his love life that suffers. Even in non-romantic relationships with female coworkers, bosses, teachers, etc., this fellow never quite seems to read women right and keeps getting off on the wrong foot with them, which only feeds the regret monster.
Let's call this average fella Joe, though there are tens of millions of guys just like him. Same as his old man, he works hard and while not perfect, has a pretty decent moral compass. He's doing his best in life and can't wait to settle down and start his own family. He is an all-around good guy, Joe's biggest fault is his obsession with what others think of him, and a hard-wired need to please those around him, especially the ladies in his life.
Joe's friends say he's pretty smart, fun but not exactly the life of the party. The ladies say he's a "nice guy," at least the few that can remember his name. Basically Mr. Average Joe.
Since he devoted most of his time to school, work and his small group of friends, Joe never really bothered to "play the field" as a young man. Sure, he "hooked up" with a small handful of girls over the years, but nothing lasted long enough to be considered serious. No matter how hard he clung to every new gal or how much he bent over backwards to please them, for some reason they always began grumbling about him being "too clingy" and treated him more like a friend than a boyfriend.
But during a party in his senior year of college, a mutual friend introduced Joe to a sweet, pretty dark-haired undergrad named Veronica. They both hit it off immediately, spending the rest of the night chatting and making out without even any booze to lubricate the mood. Joe's whole world changed when he begged to take her out for a proper date and she giggled, "I can't wait." After his poor track record with the fairer sex, the fantasy that this kind-hearted soul could be attracted to a boring 'ole nice guy like himself blew Joe away.
Naturally, as they kept seeing more and more of each other, Joe pulled out all the stops to impress her. Veronica seemed uncomfortable at first with the pedestal he lofted her upon, but soon grew accustomed to the princess treatment. She never quite returned the favor, but she was friendly and nice enough to keep him satisfied. After a few months, they both tossed around the L-word, even if the word rang a little hollow. Maybe it wasn't a Hollywood rom-com, but they both enjoyed each other's company and felt safe together.
Like an old, worn-in pair of underwear, their relationship might not have been sexy and exciting, but it was comforting and reassuring.
Fast forward a year down the road with graduation right around the corner and Joe had a major decision to make. Veronica kept talking about a job on the West Coast, while Joe landed an interview for a great company on the East Coast. The writing was on the wall.
The icy fear of being single again, of starting all over in the dating game with no guarantee he'd find anyone better kept Joe awake at night. With all the pressure, it didn't take Joe long to convince himself that he wasn't settling, but rather settling down.
Veronica had a mini-panic attack when he finally popped the question, but like her mother before her, she convinced herself that "love isn't found, it needs to grow." After a few moments of stunned silence, or a few breathless years to Joe's pounding heart, Veronica took a deep breath and wrapped him close, whispering the most exciting yet terrifying words he ever heard:
"I do."
The honeymoon briefly rekindled their earlier passions, but the effect wore off faster than Joe ever dreamed. Not that things fell apart immediately though. They both slipped into a comfortable domestic routine in the first few years of marriage. To the outside world, their relationship had the slightest hint of strife or conflict.
But it was easy to avoid conflict when the couple lived more like roommates than lovers. It wasn't until after their first child came along that either party felt the cold tinge of permanence crushing their dreams for the future. Unable to point at any one thing that went wrong, both still felt trapped in their "ideal" marriage.
To be fair, neither Veronica nor Joe tried to hurt their partner. They were both good people, but good God they couldn't be communicating in more different languages.
For his part, Joe was a pleaser, always trying to make Veronica happy by putting her needs before his own. He lived by the old motto that his father had ingrained into his brain: "Happy wife, happy life."
For example, he always dreamed of writing a novel. A dream he clung to since boyhood. Yet whenever he sat down in front of the computer during his limited free time after work, Veronica would beg him to take care of some chore around the house. And without fail each and every time, he would meekly drop what he was doing and scurry to obey. Needless to say, even after years of writing, he never got past the first few pages of that novel. Nor past the seeds of resentment blossoming in his frustrated soul.
As for sweet Veronica, she never meant to take advantage of his overly nice guy behavior. She genuinely appreciated everything he did for her, and secretly resented herself for being so demanding, but she could not shake the way he made her feel. Veronica never asked to be treated like a queen. Why did he keep making all these unnecessary sacrifices and guilt-tripping her into returning the favor?
It's not that she wanted her man to be a selfish a-hole, but there was no balance of power in their relationship. She held all the cards, which ashamed her as much as the power scared her. Joe would bend over backwards to her every whim, never once standing up for himself, and then get frustrated when she wouldn't do the same. She knew it wasn't logical, but what does logic have to do with the heart? His cowardice made her feel unsafe and insecure. His excessive kindness read like manipulation. Combined with the cold fact that the two of them always seemed to communicate on opposite spectrums to begin with… well, it wasn't long until she was subsumed by the darkest feeling that a woman knows:
Being hopelessly lost.
Still, Joe and Veronica reached a tipping point. There were some happy times, but for the most part they stayed together for 15 years just trying to make it work for the sake of their child. Even outsiders could tell their marriage grew purely professional as time wore on. A business relationship, with the only passion seen when they were fighting about some nonsense thing. Which seemed to happen more and more frequently as the years dragged on. At some point in the last year of their marriage even their sex life puttered out. Joe resented having to beg for sex despite everything he did for her and Veronica hated being treated like a sexual vending machine that had to "put out" when he accrued enough romance points.
You can probably guess where this old tale is going. As the judge at their divorce hearing pointed out, it didn't matter who's cheated. Only the future mattered.
Which wasn't something Joe wanted to think about. Now almost in his 40's, with half of his life savings gone, no wife, few friends, poor social skills, depleted confidence, and a child he could only see on the weekend, Joe had to start all over.
Sounds pretty grim, right? Well, this is an all-too-common story. In fact, my dad recently went through a horrible divorce in his 60's with a woman he stayed with for 20 years just for the sake of my half brother and sister. I bet you have a friend or family member in a similar toxic relationship. No one wants this for their life.
But Joe's tale, my father's or the struggles of millions of similar men don't have to be so common. With just a little effort, any man can become the sort of person with options who doesn't have to settle.
Now I'm not running down marriage or any other long-term relationship… as long as you're truly settling down with your soulmate and not just settling for what you have at the moment. That's just not fair to either of you and won't end well for anyone.
When you know the secret language of attraction, you'll not just know how to meet the woman of your dreams, but you'll know how to keep the passion and love alive.
Contents
FOREWORD: YOUR LIFE TRANSFORMED ......4 CONTENTS.............9
INTRODUCTION: MAY YOUR DATING LIFE BE FOREVER CHANGED
1
How I Got Here............5
Subconscious Attraction............11
What's In Store For You?............14
Phase I: Preparation - Understanding the language of attraction. ....15
Phase II: Approach – Breaking the ice and making a lasting impression. ...
15
Phase III: Closing the deal – Advanced techniques for every situation ..16
PHASE I: PREPARATION – MASTERING THE LANGUAGE OF ATTRACTION..............18
CHAPTER 1: UNDERSTANDING HER PRIMARY MOTIVATOR....19 What Do Women Want?..............24
SAFETY AND SECURITY – THE GREATEST INFLUENCER OF WOMEN ..
26
Female Intuition - A Woman's Sixth Sense.......28
The Biggest Attraction Trigger...........28
CHAPTER 2: SPEAKING A WOMAN'S SECRET LANGUAGE...32
Make Her Hear What Isn't Said ..........35
The Grammar Rules of Speaking Womanese ........36
1) Context over Content – She feels what you are not saying ....36
2) Female Intuition - Women notice everything. ........36
3) Emotional Contagion – What you feel, she will feel as well. ....37
4) Talk is cheap. ............37
CHAPTER 3: THE KEY TO ATTRACTING WOMEN........38
Tension Is A Grounded Man's Secret Weapon.......42
Grounding Yourself............44
The Nice Guy VS. The Bad Boy...........45
Passing Her Subconscious Tension Tests........46
How To Instantly Ground Yourself.........48
#1 - Embrace The Feelings, Good And Bad .......49
#2 - Deep Breathing ..............50
#3 - Scan the Vicinity ............51
How To Stay Grounded Over Time...........52
Seek Out Safe But Tense Situations Every Day ........53
Take a cold shower............. 54
Serenity ...............55
Chapter Recap.............55
Exercises................56
CHAPTER 4: BEING A HIGH STATUS MAN........57
Nine Steps To Master High Status Body Language........59
Step 1: The Rule of Investment .........60
Step 2: Be More Comfortable Than Her ........60
Step 4: Open Up .............62
Step 5: Take Up Space .............63
Step 6: Your Feet Tell All........... 64
Step 7: Piercing Eye Contact .........65
Step 8: Slow Down Your Movements .........65
Step 9: The Perfect Smile .........66
Nuts and Bolts of Talking to Women...........66
Volume – Turn up the confidence dial. ..........67
Speed – Slow is smooth. ..........67
Tone - Don't be afraid of your "power voice" ......69
Your Psychology Determines Your Physiology ......71 Style – WE ALL Judge A Book By Its Cover ........72
Vibe – the essentials of Speaking Womanese........74
Purpose ...............75
Passion ................76
Presence ..............77
Positive ................78
Peaceful ...............78
Chapter Recap.............80
Exercises................80
PHASE II: APPROACH –– BREAKING THE ICE AND MAKING A LASTING IMPRESSION .........82 CHAPTER 4: SHE WANTS TO FEEL YOUR DESIRE.....83
Every Woman's Secret Aphrodisiac .........85
Desire................86
Emotional Contagion .............88
Giving a compliment.............89
Sample Compliments: ..............91
Why Compliments and Showing Desire Backfires For Nice Guys ....93
Chapter Recap.............94
Exercises................95
CHAPTER 6: SELECTING AND QUALIFYING HER .......96
Stop Trying To ATTRACT women..........99
The Selector's Mindset and High Status Lifestyle........101
Plenty of Sand at the Beach .........103
You Are The Prize .............104
Being A Selector Is A Lifestyle ...........105
If You're Faking It, Then She Is The True Selector ......106
PRINCIPLES of a Selector ..........108
The Principle Of Workmanship ...........109
The Principle Of Preselection ..........109
The Principle of Appreciation ..........110
The Principle Of Caring ..........111
Qualification – Showing You're the Selector........112
Determine Your Standards In Advance .......112
Qualification Question Examples ..........114
Reciprocity ..............115
Know Your Setting ............116
Chapter Recap..............118
Exercises..............119
CHAPTER 7: HOW TO CREATE A DEEP CONNECTION WITH A WOMAN..............121
THE foundation of creating deep connections.......121
Instant Rapport.............. 122
The Dreaded Awkward Silence ..........123
Your Vibe - The Chameleon Effect ...........123
Shared Experiences ............124
Emotional Experiences ...........126
Conversational Rapport .........127
The 70/30 Rule ..............130
Emotional Questions ..............130
Talking About Yourself ............133
Cold Reading ..............135
Being Vulnerable............ 136
Storytelling ..............137
Bottom Line: You Have To Affect Her ..........140
Deep VS Wide Rapport.............141
Wide Rapport Conversation Example: ........142
Deep Rapport Conversation Example: ........143
Breaking Rapport.............144
Teasing ..............145
Cultivating An Interesting Personality .........145
Chapter Recap..............147
Exercises..............148
PHASE III: CLOSING THE DEAL –– ADVANCED TECHNIQUES FOR EVERY SITUATION............149 CHAPTER 8: CREATING A FUN AND FLIRTY VIBE.....150
What's Your Goal?............156
The Key To Fun..............158
Bar Games ..............160
Role-Playing ............161
The Art Of Flirting ............161
What is Flirting, Really? ..........162
Context Frame ............163
Teasing ..............164
Push-Pull ..............166
Disqualifying ............167
Ridiculous Responses to Common Questions........ 168
No Filter, No Problem .............169
The Magic Ingredient.............170
CHapter Recap..............172
Exercises..............172
CHAPTER 9: TURNING THE CONVERSATION INTIMATE...174
Sex Isn't A Prize, It's A Mutual Reward........179 Sexual Confidence ..............180
Planting the seed.............181
Sexy Games and Role Plays ...........181
The Questions Game.............. 183
The Body Test .............184
Strawberry Fields .............184
Playful Restrictions ..............186
Chapter Recap..............186
CHAPTER 10: ..............188 SEXUAL TENSION AND ESCALATION.......188
Sexual Tension Through Body Language .......188
The Sexual Tension Handshake .........191
Practicing Sexual Tension .........191
Keys To Sensual Touching..........192
Strong VS Soft Touch .............193
Break The Touch Barrier Sooner Rather Than Later ........194
Don't Let It Linger .............194
Types Of Touches By Context .........195
Make Your Move..............196
Handling Objections To Your Advances.......197
Chapter Recap..............198
EXERCISE.............198
CHAPTER 11: PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS .............199
Meeting Women During The Day: The Compliment, Qualify, Close
Method...............199
Step 1: Compliment ............200
Clear Intent To Enhance Desire ..........201
Body Language .............201
You Must Use Time Constraints .........202
Acknowledge Her Reality ..........202
Step 2: Qualify Her ..............206
Build Rapport and Appreciate .........207
Step 3: Closing The Deal ...........209
Meeting Girls At Social Events.........211
Meeting Girls In The Night Life Scene .........212
Starting Off The Night............. 213
Step 2: Starting The Conversation ...........214
Keep The Conversation Going ...........215
Step 2: Escalate ............217
Moving Her Or The Group .........218
Showing Interest at Night ..........218
Being the Selector at Night ..........219
Building Rapport at Night ..........220
Closing Logistics ..............220
Follow Up - Calling and Texting...........221
First Dates ............223
Where To Go ............223
Keeping Things Fun And Interesting ...........224
Touching ............225
Moving To Different Venues ..........225
Going For The Kiss ..............226
Taking Her Home .............227 Prepping Your Place ............229 Playing Hard To Get............. 229
Handling Objections..............230
Chapter Recap..............233
Exercises..............234
CHAPTER 11: BUILDING ON WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED .....235
Your Path To Success............235
Your New Gym Is The Mall ...........236
Reject The Fear Of Rejection ..........237
Stop Making Excuses And Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone ...239
Shortcuts To Building Confidence And Conquering Social Fear .....241
Dance Class ............241
Public Speaking Class............ 241
Acting Class ............242
Improv Class ..............242
Paying The Price For Success..........242
Final Words..............243
BONUS: LANGUAGE OF ATTRACTION CHEAT SHEET....247