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2. "Do you know where Starbucks is? [she answers] Actually I'm not even looking for Starbucks, I just thought you were absolutely adorable and wanted to meet you."

Great to use if you are experiencing anxiety because you can trick your mind by thinking, "I'm just going to ask her for directions."

3. "Can you help me with something? [she answers] Okay let's say you are this (describe yourself) tall rocker guy with blue eyes and you are talking to a (describe her) cute green-eyed blonde girl about 5'6," what would you say to her if you wanted to flirt with her?"

If she says, "I don't know," you can say, "But you're a girl you're supposed to be good at this whole flirting thing." Credit to Robbie Kramer for this opener.

Remember not to rush the opener. Speaking slowly, pausing for effect creates a lot of suspense, anticipation, confusion and sexual tension.

4. "Hi, I don't believe we've met yet. I'm Matt."

This works really well at a social event like a meetup group, class, seminar, etc. It presupposes that you know other people there.

5. "I was just walking out of the store and you stopped me dead in my tracks. So I figured I'd say hi."

This is considered an implied compliment. It will still flatter her and make her day even though you didn't actually give her a compliment.

Top 10 Night Game Openers

Girls go to bars to have fun so make sure you open with a fun and positive vibe.

1. "Hi I'm Matt, I just think fun people should know each other. You are fun right?"

Every woman wants to think of herself as fun so it is a subtle challenge. You can replace the word "fun" with "cool," "friendly," "awesome," etc.

2. "Have you noticed that you and I are like the hottest people in this entire place? It's true, so I figured we should meet."

Creates an Us vs. Them vibe that you and her are the hottest people there. Also conveys your interest while being slightly cocky/cheeky.

3. "Are you shy? Because I've been here for a while and you haven't talked to me yet, or flirted with me, or bought me a drink...you must be shy." This is a great Role-Reversal and is slightly cocky/cheeky.

4. "Listen girls, I have this rule that I have to say 'hi' to the cutest girls in the entire bar (long pause) so will you help me go say 'hi' to those girls over there?"

This is a great Bait & Switch opener that works well on extremely attractive girls in a high energy bar or club.

5. "Sorry I'm late girls, traffic was horrible. Did you order me a drink yet?"

If they are sitting, then sit down next to them and say this. It usually gets a laugh. Can follow up with, "Actually I just thought you girls were cute. So anyways, what kind of trouble are you ladies getting into tonight?"

6. You: "I just wanted to tell you that you are the second sexiest person here."

Her: "Thanks! Who's the first?"

You: "Me of course!"

Creates great banter back and forth. The only problem is that if she doesn't ask "who's the first?" then it loses the humor aspect.

7. "Hi, I'm Matt. I don't believe we've met yet."

Probably my favorite opener at night because it conveys confidence by showing that you don't need a witty line or excuse to go talk to her. It also shows your interest without giving a compliment.

8. "You're kinda cute. What's your name?"

It's direct but the word "kinda" makes it slightly challenging.

9. "I was going to wear that same outfit tonight"

Make sure she's wearing something girly like a dress or skirt.

10. "Did you just undress me with your eyes? Oh my God you are so bad. You can't just visually molest me like that like that without at least saying 'hi'"

Great Role-Reversal that will make her want to banter back and role-play along.

Keeping The Conversation Going

Qualification Questions

There are many ways to keep the conversation going. During the daytime I recommend asking a qualification question soon in the interaction because you don't want to waste your time if she doesn't meet your standards. Plus, you've already shown your interest so now it's time to make her work for your attraction. This keeps a good balance of showing interest and being a challenge. It also shows that you are not needy and have standards for people in your life.

Examples:

"Tell me something interesting about yourself, besides your looks."

"I'm really picky about who I hang out with so tell me something cool about you"

"I like women who love to travel, so tell me your favorite place to go."

"I'm really into fitness, do you work out?"

"I don't know if we can hang out yet. Tell me something about you. What are you passionate about?"

Getting To Know Each Other

Instead of asking typical interview-style questions, ask interesting questions like:

"If you could have any superpower, what would it be?"

"If we could wake up together anywhere in the world, where would it be?" "Would you rather have a man that is a great lover or a man who has a lot of money?

"When you were a little girl what did you want to be when you grow up?"

"If you could meet anyone dead or alive who would it be?"

Cold Reading

Cold reading is making a perceptive statement about another person. This can be more interesting than asking questions because people love to know how others perceive them. The only thing people like more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves. Even if you are wrong it still makes for interesting conversation because she will wonder how you came up with your perception.

Examples:

"I can tell you are a deep person. I bet you have some pretty big ambitions"

"You are totally a West Coast girl. You have it written all over you." This is more interesting than just asking, "where are you from?"

"You have this really artistic vibe. I bet you are an artist. Come on show me some of your work."

Emotionally Charged Follow Up Questions

Most guys ask logical follow up questions like, "how long have you done that?" or "where do you do that?" Instead, ask emotionally charged follow up questions that get her to talk about her motivations and emotions.

Examples:

"That's so interesting. How did you get into hip hop dancing?"

"I bet you feel really alive and free when you are dancing on stage?"

"What is it about dancing that you love so much?"

Follow Up Statements

To avoid asking too many questions in a row, make statements. They can be about your own experience, a friend's experience, or even having no experience.

Then, after the statement, you can turn it back to her with a follow up question. I recommend having a flow of Question, Comment, Question Comment, instead of what most guys do: Question, Question, Question, Question.

Examples:

Own Experience: "I used to do break dancing for 5 years and I felt so proud of myself after each performance. Is it like that for you?"

Friend's Experience: "My best friend is a dancer and she really loves it. What do you love the most about dancing?"

No Experience: "I've never tried it but it seems so fun. Do you do it because it's fun or for the challenge?"

36 Questions That Lead to Love

A study, conducted by psychologist Arthur Aron, explored how intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated when they ask each other personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three categories, each becoming more personal than the previous.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability creates a feeling of deep connection. To quote the study's author, "One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure." Here are the questions:

Set 1.

1. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?"

2. "Would you like to be famous? In what way?"

3. "Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?"

4. "What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?"

5. "When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?"

6. "If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?"

7. "Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?"

8. "Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common."

9. "For what in your life do you feel most grateful?"

10. "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?"

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?" Set 2.

13. "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?"

14. "Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?"

15. "What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?"

16. "What do you value most in a friendship?"

17. "What is your most treasured memory?"

18. "What is your most terrible memory?"

23. "How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?"

24. "How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?" Set 3.

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... "

26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. "When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?"

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. "What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?"

33. "If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?"

34. "Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?"

35. "Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?"

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask them to reflect back to how they feel about the problem they have chosen.

Fun Conversation

I recommend going into fun conversation very quickly if you are at a bar or club because the number one reason women go out at night is to have a good time. If you start asking too many typical questions like, "where are you from?" "what do you do?" and "do you come here often?" then she will likely lose interested because she isn't having fun.

Games

The following are some great games you can play at a bar, club or on a date to keep things fun and playful, increase the flirty vibe, and help escalate physically.

Shag, Marry, Kill

Fun game to increase intimacy.

"I'm going to pick 3 people in this place. One of them you have to shag, one you have to marry, and one you have to kill."

Staring Contest

Great way to go for a kiss or get a free drink. Tell her she's allowed to blink but she can't move her head, laugh or smile. As you stare at each other, begin to move your head closer and closer to her's until you are either kissing or she turns away and loses the game.

Thumb War

Fast game that allows for some light touching. Can bring back fun childhood memories.

5 Questions Game

Great game to play at a bar. You can tell her that if she loses she has to buy you a drink, cook you dinner or buy you a drink.

You: "Have you ever played 5 Questions?

Her: "No."

You: "Okay I'm going to ask you 5 questions in a row and all you have to do is get all of them wrong."

Her: "Okay sounds easy."

You: "It is. Here we go. Question number one, what is my name?"

Her: "Oprah."

You: "Haha okay, what planet are we on?"

Her: "Jupiter."

You: "Who was the first president of the US?"

Her: "Trump."

You: "Haha, hmmm…wait…how many questions was that so far?"

Her: "Nice try, it was 10."

You: "Oh wow! Dammit! Have you played this before?!?" (act like you lost)

Her: "No!"

You: "Got you on the 5th question!"

Often times girls lose on the 4th question, "how many questions was that so far?" and say 3. But if she says any other number than 3, your 5th question will usually stump her because she will assuming the game is already over when you say, "Oh wow! Damn! Have you played this before!?!?"

3, 2, 1, Game

"I'm going to count down from 3 to 1 and when I get to 1 you either have to kiss me on the lips or slap me on the face ready here we go 3 2 1…"

The countdown should be really fast. This is a good game for going for a kiss. Make sure to lean in and go for the kiss as soon as you start counting down. It's not bad if she slaps you because it's an emotionally charged event for a woman to slap a man. And remember, women need an experience, not just a conversation.

Two Truths And A Lie

Take turns revealing three things about your life. Two should be true and one should be a lie. The other person has to guess the lie.

Never Have I Ever

This is a great group drinking game. Each person says something they have never done and anyone in the group who has done it has to take a drink. Usually gets very sexual fast.

For example, if she says, "never have I ever had a threesome." Anyone in the group who has had a threesome would drink. I don't like this game because I end up having to drink a lot =P.

Truth of Dare

Classics never die. This is a great group game in which you will usually get dared to kiss, or do other physical activities, with the girl(s) you like. This game typically gets sexual fast. Ask a participant, "truth or dare?" If she says "truth," then ask a question and she has to tell the truth. If she says "dare," then dare her to do something like stripping an article of clothing, kissing the person next to her or flashing the group. Then it's her turn to pick someone and ask, "truth or dare?"

Top 12 Flirty, Banter and Teasing Lines

Get in the habit of flirting to show your interest in a fun way; banter to keep things playful and upbeat; and tease to maintain being a challenge in a way that is fun for her. Some of these examples use a technique called, "push-pull," which allows you to show interest and then slightly take it away.

1. "Hmm you are starting to win me over…too bad you are X." X = such a dork, too tall, too short, a model, blonde, etc.

Maintains you being a challenge. For height I recommend saying the opposite of what she is. Say "tall" if she is really short or "short" if she is really tall. Do not tease a girl about her weight, even if she is skinny.

2. "I'm starting to like you, but don't get any ideas I'm not going to X"

X = start making out with you, go home with you that easily, make you my girlfriend yet, etc.

3. "Were you just staring at my crotch?" OR "Wow, stop staring at my package I have a brain too you know!" Great Role-Reversal.

4. "Don't fall in love with me."

You can say this after you kiss her.

5. "You are going to have the best time of your life...because I'm going to be there."

Great to say after you've invited her somewhere with you.

6. "Bad girl...go to my room."

Shows your intent in a funny way.

7. "I don't hit girls, but I will tickle you until you pee your pants." Great comeback after she teases you.

8. "Do you treat all guys like this or just guys you're really attracted too?" Great comeback after she teases you.

9. "I'm not just some trophy boyfriend you can use to show off to your friends." Great role-reversal that you can use during a marriage role play.

10. "High five. Foot five. Mouth five. Crotch five."

Funny quote from the show "How I Met Your Mother." Could lead to a kiss. Or more.

11. "You are cute, I'm taking you home with me."

Say this after she does something you like. Hug her while you say it.

12. "I get that a lot, but girls that say that usually have sex with me shortly after, so I never learn my lesson."

Say this after she calls you an asshole, jerk, cocky, a player, etc.

Remember to say all of these with a sly smile so she knows you are being playful and not 100% serious.

Ridiculous Responses To Common Questions

We all get asked common questions like, "What's your name?" "Where are you from?" and "What do you do?" Instead of answering her questions with boring one-word answers like, "Delaware" or "I'm an accountant," mix in some humor to surprise her and make her laugh. This will set you apart from all the other guys who answer her questions with logical answers that bore her to tears.

What Is Your Name?

"Matt, but my stage name is Hercules." [she responds] "Yeah I dance at the Peppermint Hippo, I think I've seen you there!"

"Tom...Tom Cruise." [she responds] "Okay that was a test to make sure you are smart."

"Michael. Michael Oxbig. But people call me Mike. Mike Oxbig (pronounce it "my cock's big").

Where Are You from?

"I'm from your imagination, I'm not even real." [she responds] "I can do anything I want to you right now and it wouldn't matter because it's just your imagination. You have a pretty naughty imagination."

"Well I shouldn't tell you, But I'm from the future!" [she responds] "Yeah in the future there is a horrible robo-apocalypse and our unborn child is the only hope for humanity." [she responds] "Come we have to make our son so he can save the world!"

"I'm from Nigeria. You look like you might be from Nigeria as well?" Say this if you are a white guy talking to a white girl. Change it to a different country depending on your race.

What Do You Do?

"I'm an ass model." [she responds] "Yeah check it out, but no touching."

"I'm the janitor at an adult movie theater." [she responds] "Yeah it's a dirty job but someone has to do it."

"I work at McDonald's. I don't mean to brag or anything, but was employ of the month last month and I'm pretty sure they are going to move me up to drive thru attendant." Say it with a prideful attitude. Works great if you are dressed well.

*Make sure not to overdue the jokes because she probably does want to get to know you. Mix in humor with genuine answers.

Topics That Turn Her On

It's important to turn the conversation sexual in a smooth, non-creepy way, to escalate the interaction to a more intimate level, as well as, show her that you are a sexual man who is comfortable with his sexuality.

Find Out What Turns Her On

"What turns you on? Like do you prefer a guy to be gentle and soft with you or do you like it when a man just takes what he wants and throws you down on the bed and has his way with you?"

Tell Her To Describe Her Hottest Sexual Experience

When she describes it to you she can't help but feel turned on as she relives some of those emotions.

Desire And Craving What We Want

"What makes you say, 'fuck it, I want this now'?" (do a subtle self-point). "Is it ice-cream, shopping, a hot guy?" (self-point) "I don't know about you, but when I crave something I have to have it." (Credit: Vince Kelvin)

Role Playing

"You are awesome! We are so getting married. But we can only have sex 8 times a day, I mean I'm not just a piece of meat you know. But I can be your trophy husband I suppose." Then have her describe the honey moon and passionate night consummating the marriage.

"Let me see your muscles. Wow! You are strong, I'm making you my bodyguard. Your job is to not let any of the crazy girls here into my personal bubble. If you let them in, then you are fired."

"I'm getting bored here, let's go rob a bank. We can be Oceans 2. Are you going to be the shooter or the driver?"

Her Sensuality And Views Of Sex

"How well in tune with your sexuality would you say you are? Because so many women are so out of tune with their own sexuality it's really sad. They let society, family or their friends decide for them instead of listening to your own body and what you really desire and deserve. Me (self-point) I think for a woman to more fully blossom into her true sexual fulfillment, she must first set aside the judgements society makes on powerful independent women like yourself, and become the ruler of her own sexuality." (Credit: Vince Kelvin)

If bringing up sexual topics or talking about intimate subjects feels shameful then I recommend hiring a therapist to help you overcome your sexual shame or attend one of our 7-day workshops where we dive deep into releasing sexual shame