New Beginnings: Rose

Months have passed since Angie went to the police. We've graduated high school, and summer has rolled around again.

Dan's lawyers managed to keep pushing back the trial, but the Judge decided that it'll take place this month. From what I heard, his friends, Ed and James, cut a plea bargain to testify against him. It's going to be messy, but I hope they all do time behind bars.

A lot has happened, but some things have also stayed the same. Ben and I have decided to keep dating, despite the four hour distance that'll be between us.

He promises to fly out to see me every other weekend. I'm sure that with my studies I won't even notice the time gone.

Out of seventy-eight contestants, I came in third place for the art competition. Ben won for the second time in a row, getting yet another year to display his artwork.

I couldn't have been any happier if I had placed higher. Winning a spot in the competition, no matter what the rank was, has motivated me to carry on. I want to see how far I'll go in this career.

Matt and Penny haven't been the same since the play. They talk a lot more now, but you can almost feel the wall that Matt puts up. He's protecting his feelings. We can't blame him for that.

I'm just glad that we'll have one last rodeo together. I'm sure that the transition into becoming an adult will be much easier with them by my side.

Dad missed my graduation as expected, but I was surprised to find him outside our door not too soon after.

He had a bouquet of flowers, and an apology ready for me. I accepted both, because at that moment I realized something. He's one of the last pieces of my mother that I have left, and even though he's hardly around, I'd lose my mind if I lost him too.

He didn't stay for long, but with the time that we had together, I tried my best to get some conversation out of him. He looked grave when my mother came up as a topic.

"I know that I left you behind," he says, taking a pause. "I'm not even sure how to apologize for that. At that point in time I only knew two things. That your mother was never coming back, and that I would've ruined you."

It's the first time that he's ever talked about leaving me.

"No. You would've been great."

He insists. "I would've taken it out on you." He sets down the coffee mug. "Once I felt myself losing it, I knew that you'd be better off with your grandma. I thought I'd get better after a few months, but then years flew past. By the time I was in a good place, you were already in middle school. You had friends and a life, and I couldn't take that away from you. So I stayed in the army."

I remember the funeral, and try to imagine my life with him in it. I picture him growing frustrated with every little move that I make. I'm sure it would've taken a toll on me.

"Everything happened the way that it was supposed to."

Sitting beside me at the kitchen island, his eyes flutter with surprise.

"Your mother used to say that." He stands to his feet, rubbing his graying beard. "When I look at you it's like she never left." There's a faint sadness in his grin.

I get the feeling that this conversation is over, and ask him about how he's traveling back. He tells me that he has an eighteen hour flight ahead of him, then gives me a kiss on the head goodbye.

~

I clear out my bedroom, staring at the boxes cluttering the entryway. My room is empty, but my photos stay on the walls for grandma. She loves to reminisce.

My bed is stripped, and closet practically bare. Everything that I need is packed away, and my friends are already on campus waiting for me.

"You ready?"

Grandma's voice brings me out of my thoughts. I grab the last of my boxes, balancing them in my arms.

"Yep," I say, grunting.

I watch my steps down the stairs, and carefully head to the car. I squint from the sun, hovering a hand over my eyes to search for Angie. She should be around here.

"Have you seen Angie?"

Grandma makes room in the car. "She's in the backyard."

I walk around the house, grass tickling me through my sandals. Birds chirp noisily, enjoying their blue sky. Angie stands with her arms folded against our childhood tree.

Talking to her has gotten easier. Sometimes I still feel the guilt creep in, but she hates when I apologize. Forgiving myself has been the hardest part of it all.

"Watch out WashU, here she comes!"

I join her in the shade. "I'm so nervous!"

"You'll catch on easy."

"I wish you were coming." I trace the spot where Matt carved all of our names. The trunk is rough and sticky.

"Next year I'll attend the community college down the road."

"You're staying local? I thought you wanted to move away."

"I may be out of my head, but I can't leave this place." Her smile tells me the reason.

"It wouldn't be because of some handsome British guy, would it?"

"That, and before, I wanted to leave because I was afraid of my own shadow." Her sure eyes lock with mine. "I'm not scared anymore."

I smile. "I'm proud of you. Plus, this means that grandma won't be alone."

"I'll keep her busy."

I kick the grass with my chucks, sighing. "It'll be strange not having you two around. You've always been there if I needed you."

"I'm still here." She shrugs. "I'm not going anywhere."

She's kept her hair short. Crystal blue eyes search mine beneath her curly bangs.

"You're more like a sister to me than anything else."

"I know," I say.

"Try to visit often?"

I stick out my pinky, and she hooks it with her's, grinning.

"I promise."

~

Penny's room is already decorated, but that shouldn't surprise me. Pillows clutter her yellow bed, and posters hang above it. On her desk are school books, and on the floor is a small blue rug. My side is a plain canvas waiting to be personalized.

I'm trampled when she catches me in the doorway. Our squeals draw attention, but we don't care. Sharing a dorm room has been our biggest dream next to being pregnancy twins.

Speaking of twins, her mischievous brothers are finally in daycare. They'll give the workers a run for their money, that's for sure.

"Where's your grandma and Angie?"

"They're parking the car. Where's Matt?" I unpack clothes from a box, filling up my brown dresser.

"He's probably in his dorm. I'll go grab him."