Ch - 8 Biday!

I was speechless! What? When did Rosie propose to whom and who is the one who rejected her? Today was the first time I saw Rosie's eyes are filled with painful tear for a boy. But she wasn't crying, she was just swallowing every part of her eye. That I can see. I don't know how long our relationship lasted. This was the first time we had such a serious conversation. Finally, breaking the silence, I looked at Rosie and asks her simply.

:Who is he, Rosie..... Can....

Before I could finish, Rosie's answer echoed in my ears.

:Rowoon!

Silence everywhere!

My heart quickened. But with a stone in my heart, I inquired Rosie,

:Did you propose to him?

:Hmmm, maybe you're surprised. I did though. Why didn't I tell you, you might be thinking? But I don't have the answer. I just proposed to Rowoon this morning. But he plainly refused. Do you know my heart was beating fast, as if my heart had been broken and something was beating against my heart. I've never felt so much pain. Ahhhh... if I was rejected normally it wouldn't hurt so much. But he says he likes someone else. So is his love for her and that too it's a incomplete one sided love. I was speechless. The boy who was considered so arrogant, rude and selfish was finally drowned in one-sided love. You know, after hearing this, I have fallen in love with Rowoon even more. Even in 2015, I find love where I find only one-sided love. Life is beautiful may, I always say. But today, I feel a little uneasy about it. Rather, it would be better to say that life is both painful and beautiful!

My situation is somewhat like Rosie's when I heard that he is in love with someone and that too one-sided. But what about Tia? Did I have any misadventures?

:I asked her who she was, but he didn't answer. Maybe that was my fate. One-sided love may seem useless to you or my words or even the love of Rowoon. Because you don't love this kind of lovey-dovey things. You know what I thought when I was rejected, you were the first thing I remembered. I know, for the first time I felt jealous of you, without loving anyone, without seeing kdramas, without being a victim of one-sided love, how much beautiful life you are going through, right? And look at your bubbly friend, I forgot all my limits by reading and threw my final exam out of my life.

I just gave the same answer to Rosie,

:Rejection is better than waiting for nothing!!!

I had come home. And that was the end of our conversation. The last time I saw Rosie, I could see the emptiness in her eyes, the jealousy and the longing for something precious. I walked up to my house and went straight to my room. I walked around the room with my bag on my shoulder. That's how my love story began. On the one hand, love! That too with a person who loves someone else on one side, I am sacrificing everything. Ufff! Isn't this love? What is this one-sided love bro? It's make everyone mad. I'm going to take my life, man. Even today I remember the day when I saw him middle in the rain for the first time. When our eyes met each other for the first time. Even today, I remember how careless I was about the word one-sided love on the day of the meeting 29 days ago.

And that's the love I feel today. Hehehehey! I am laughing at myself even at such a bad time. But I can't stop myself. Every drop of water in my eyes was like a river. I was just trying to hide my voice. My heart was hurting, but my body wasn't. Today, it seemed, how terrible the pain is from the injury of the body, from the injury of the heart and how deep it is.

Mom and I were sitting on the couch at dinner. My mother suddenly throw a question.

:How was school today?

: It was good.

:Amelia, do you know what the most beautiful feeling in life is?

I looked at my mother and asked:

: Which one?

:When you want to read a book for a long time and finally after waiting for a long time you are reading that book. And you know what the saddest thing is?

: Which one?

: When it ends with one-sided love. And the whole story just shown the idea of one main character. Means the book shown you only one persons point of view.

My mother had gone to sleep that day. I went to my room. And tied the light and sat near the window that had never left my side. Even when there was no one named Rowoon in my life and when there was Rowoon then and today when everything was out of my hands. I sat down again with the same radio. I listen to songs that is my friend. I turn on the radio and with a broken heart I listen.

The day we met

Frozen I held my breath

Right from the start

I knew that I'd found a home for my heart

Beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave?

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

I've been singing, yes. What song I used to say, such a useless song with no feelings. Do you remember? Calling this song useless, today every one of its lyrics is going to be understood by me! So much has changed in just 29 days, in my life. That time I thought, what is one-sided love? I wrote you silently, in the lines of every thing, I have loved though lost you in the end.

But I find my new self where a old soul become pure though with deepest scars. Ahhh... Like moon with scars it's look beautiful if it doesn't have scars then it will become flawless and in this whole world nothing beautiful things has flawless beauty. Everyone has a curse but they survive.

I will always remember those times I cried for not receiving what I wanted in life, broken dreams, and unrequited love. And I guess it will always be part of my heartache every time the clock hits 2 am. The feeling of nostalgia of wanting someone you couldn't have. The short memories that keep on flashing back in my mind sting like hell. But you know what's ironic? If given a chance to go back to the first time I met you. I'd still say hello back to the first time we ever met. And I'll still let my heart fall for you all over again even though I know what would be the ending of us. I'd still love you just like the first time., i did.

Am I the person who is a patient of 'La Douleur Exquise' illness? Sigh!

So it is the end of the story ; which never starts. Let's meet again for the first time. As such this is how the story line ends.

Goodbye~