Coming Out

-----Kaede's POV

Kaede: "I'm home."

Mom: "Kaede..."

I would've liked for Yui to come with me, but at the last minute she decided it'd be best for me to have alone time with my mom while she waits outside. I'll have to make this quick then. I don't really feel comfortable having Yui wait outside like this.

Mom: "Your eyes?"

Kaede: "Ah-"

I completely forgot I took my contacts off at Yui's! Well, not that it really matters.

Kaede: "I'm just trying out some contacts."

Mom: "I see."

Quite a simple lie, and it seems like my mom is satisfied with it. But I really don't want to tip toe around the topic any longer.

Kaede: "Your note. You wanted to talk with me?"

Mom: "..."

...

We end up moving to the lounge before sitting on the couch next to each other. I guess whatever this talk will be about, it won't be just a simple and short one.

Mom: "About yesterday."

Kaede: "Yeah?"

Mom: "Like I mentioned in the note, I'm sorry. If I knew things would turn out like that, I should've stepped in and-"

Kaede: "It's fine. I know you're not one to get physical, that's dad's job."

Mom: "..."

I realize the way I phrased that is a bit disturbing. My dad has never beaten me, but he has been one to get serious. It's kind of like my dad is the bad cop and mom is the good cop, and with her sitting me down like this, she's playing out her role as intended.

Mom: "I know your father can be quite strict. He only acted like that for your sake."

Kaede: "Yeah, right."

Mom: "I've already talked with him about it last night and this morning at work, but I'd like to hear from you as well. Something was up yesterday, right?"

Kaede: "..."

Mom: "Even now, the way you're acting. If something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it."

Acting? It's more like the me until now is the one who's been acting. But what does she expect me to say? To be honest, I don't really care about any of this, but Yui seems to. So I have to meet her expectations.

Kaede: "It's suffocating..."

Mom: "Hmm?"

Kaede: "It's suffocating having to wake up all alone-"

I guess I'll just speak from the past me... What I should've said at the time.

Kaede: "The silence... Instead of waking up to a warm home, it's dark and dry. Makes me want to hurry up and get to school just so I can breathe. But then when I come back home, I'm immediately confronted by you two. The only thing I ever get is the "how was school?" talk from you and that's it..."

Mom: "..."

Kaede: "...It's like you don't really care. Not that you ever do."

Mom: "Of course we care!"

Kaede: "Yeah, you care about what you want me to be. But I know deep down you don't give a shit about my feelings."

It's rude of me to use the past from another timeline against her like this, but I can't help it. I never got the chance to confront them about this and get the closure I needed. I feel bad, especially for my mom here, but I need to let this out.

Kaede: "You two always supported me as long as it was beneficial to you, or if it aligned with your own agenda. But the moment I wanted to do something with my life, you instantly come at me, berating me like I'm some sort of monster.

Mom: "We have never done such a thing!"

Kaede: "Yeah, but you will."

Mom: "Kaede! Please, can you just calm down? Since when have we ever done such a thing?"

Kaede: "Then tell me, mom. Will you be okay if I were to love another woman?"

Mom: "Don't be silly. You know that's not okay. It-"

While she spoke, I stood up whilst at the same time, growing out my wings once more, causing mom to freeze up instantly as she chokes on her own words. I simply look down at her as she remains seated on the couch.

Kaede: "Because it's against what God intended?"

Mom: "K-Kaede?"

Kaede: "Then how do you explain this?"

As if to demonstrate, I flap my wings slowly, proving to her that they're real if she had any doubts in her mind. But at my words, my mom stays completely frozen, not speaking another word. It's a bit sad to see her like this to her own daughter.

Kaede: "If we're such a devout family, then why am I like this? YOU made me like this, both you and father."

Mom: "I-I..."

Thinking that it's enough, I retract my wings whilst still standing up.

Kaede: "I'm sorry, but no matter how faithful I am, I don't think a demon can enter heaven. Wouldn't you agree, mother?"

Mom: "..."

She's still frozen... Well, it's not like I intended to show her this, but my body just moved on it's own when she was about to start spouting such nonsense.

Kaede: "So, are we done here?"

Mom: "..."

Kaede: "...Then goodbye."

However, right as I turned around, I felt my wrist being grabbed as I turn back to see my mom, who's now got tears welling up in her eyes, looking as though they're about to spill out.

Mom: "..."

But again, she has no words. I'm honestly tempted to force her hand away, but I promised to myself that I'd see this through to the end, for Yui.

Kaede: "What? If all you're going to do is deny my existence and shove your beliefs onto me, then-"

Mom: "I'm sorry..."

Kaede: "Huh?"

It was in that moment that the tears in her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks as she looks up at me.

Mom: "You're saying that we made you like this?"

Not directly, but in a way, they are the ones that pushed me over the edge for me to be where I am now.

Kaede: "Yes. The old Kaede is no longer here. You killed her."

Mom: "!"

Kaede: "So if that's all, then I'd like to-"

Again, when I was trying to move away, my wrist didn't break free at all, if anything, my mother only tightened her grasp even more.

Mom: "Do you not see me as your mother?!"

Kaede: "...No."

I was thinking about lying, but I chose not to. But that only seemed to get mom onto her feet as we're now both standing in front of one another.

Mom: "Sorry to break it to you, but you're still my daughter! I carried you for as long as I can remember You might not see me like that now, but that doesn't change who you are to me!"

Kaede: "Doesn't change who I am? Yet you'd let your own beliefs change who I am? Don't be a hypocrite."

Mom: "...Is this about loving another woman?"

Kaede: "What do you think?"

Mom: "...If that's what you want to do, then I understand."

Kaede: "What? What happened to your so called faith?"

Mom: "You know that your father is the one that feels like that. I just... I don't want this family to break apart..."

Again, more tears spill from her eyes as drops fall from her jaw onto the floor, breaking the silence.

Mom: "You know... You're not the only one."

Kaede: "Eh?"

Wait, what? What is she talking about?

Mom: "Many nights now, I've been craving wine. Work can be really stressful, and sometimes I wish I can just drown it away."

Oh, nevermind. For a second I thought my mom was gay. That would've threw me for a loop. But huh, I actually never knew my mom was one to drink.

Mom: "Actually... Between you and me, on the rare occasions where your father and I split off from work, I do go and grab a few drinks with some co-workers."

I never pinned my mom to be such a rule breaker... It's honestly refreshing to see her open up like this.

Mom: "So... I know how it feels."

Kaede: "Then why are you so against me dating another girl?"

Mom: "...I do think it's weird, it goes against keeping the human race alive. But that's my OWN beliefs, not what the bible says. I don't understand it, but I know it's not my place to judge..."

Kaede: "Well you did just out yourself as an alcoholic."

Mom: "...I did, didn't I, hehe."

Hearing her chuckle ever so slightly does relieve some of the tension between us as I find myself smiling a bit, seeing my mom open up to me about it.

Mom: "Listen. If your father was here, this would be a whole different story. But just know that to me, if that's what you want to do, then I support it. I just want to keep this family together."

Kaede: "Is that you saying to keep both of our secrets between us?"

Mom: "Yes."

Well, it's not the closure I was expecting, but this acceptance came by far too late. But in her defense, I did run away at the time so I never even had the chance to confront my parents about this. For that, it's my fault. And so, with my mom still holding my wrist, I gently pull her towards me as I wrap my arms around her as she quickly did the same.

Mom: "...How long as it been since I've held you like this."

Kaede: "Too long..."

Maybe not in this world, but for me, it's felt like a lifetime.

Mom: "Thank you for telling me about this."

Kaede: "Mm."

Mom: "And your... Your wings."

Kaede: "I'm sorry I scared you."

Mom: "D-don't be. I mean, it sure was scary, but even still. I shouldn't have been afraid of you like that. So I'm sorry too."

Kaede: "I'm surprised. So you're saying you're fine with me being like this?"

Mom: "You're still my daughter, first and foremost. We'll just have to work around this, together."

As if to reaffirm her words, she tightens her hold around me. Hahh~ I guess I can settle with this...

.....

...

Mom: "You got everything?"

Kaede: "Yes~"

With my mom's permission, I pack my bags for the sleepover at Yui's. Considering what went down earlier, I wasn't entirely sure if it'd be okay, but mom said that she'll talk to dad about it for me.

And upon opening the front door, Yui notices us as she waves out with a huge smile on her face. I guess from her perspective it looks as though my mom and I have made up. But I guess that wouldn't be wrong to think that.

Mom: "Is that her?"

Kaede: "Who knows."

Yui: "Hello! My name's Yui. I'm a friend of your daughter."

Mom: "Hehe. Nice to meet you. You look after my daughter now, you hear?"

Yui: "Y-yes! I will."

The way she worded that... Doesn't that sound like she's giving me off to Yui? I'm still not sure how I'll deal with that, but I'm glad to see that these two have accepted me. Although I'm still stumped as to why.

Mom: "Just be sure to come back before school for your lunch."

Kaede: "Okay."